Adventures with Nick and Mr. Ray.
Hey y'all. I was recently the target of a scam. Long story short, I wrote the scammer a lovely email:
Heya buddy,
You tried to scam me out of three thousand dollars, it looks like. Well, huh, that just plain sucks man. Don't resort to this kinda scamming; it's just pathetic. And you, frankly, kinda sucked at it. Lemme help you with these quick, easy steps which should make you a better scammer:
1. Learn real, grown-up English.
2. You actually used a relay call? Those things are an easy give-a-way, dude. Use your mouth when you talk to people.
3. Don't offer an impromptu acceptance of terms over email, unless you are dealing with Arab traders.
C'mon, man. It's not THAT hard. Just follow these simple rules and you can be an even bigger asshole! Or, you could buck up like the rest of the world and get a real job.
Toodles, Fuckbag. And if you try to contact me in any way through email, letter, phone, or any way at all, I will send your email address and the address you gave me to the local FBI cybercrime unit. You're lucky I don't notify them right now since the bank already knows the check is fake. Attached is a copy of the fake check labeled by the bank. Again, try and contact me and I will take action.
Thanks for the memories,
The Scammee
P.S. - I google mapped your apartment. It's shitty as hell.
And this is the "check" I attached to the email:
I think justice has been served this day.
Heya buddy,
You tried to scam me out of three thousand dollars, it looks like. Well, huh, that just plain sucks man. Don't resort to this kinda scamming; it's just pathetic. And you, frankly, kinda sucked at it. Lemme help you with these quick, easy steps which should make you a better scammer:
1. Learn real, grown-up English.
2. You actually used a relay call? Those things are an easy give-a-way, dude. Use your mouth when you talk to people.
3. Don't offer an impromptu acceptance of terms over email, unless you are dealing with Arab traders.
C'mon, man. It's not THAT hard. Just follow these simple rules and you can be an even bigger asshole! Or, you could buck up like the rest of the world and get a real job.
Toodles, Fuckbag. And if you try to contact me in any way through email, letter, phone, or any way at all, I will send your email address and the address you gave me to the local FBI cybercrime unit. You're lucky I don't notify them right now since the bank already knows the check is fake. Attached is a copy of the fake check labeled by the bank. Again, try and contact me and I will take action.
Thanks for the memories,
The Scammee
P.S. - I google mapped your apartment. It's shitty as hell.
And this is the "check" I attached to the email:
I think justice has been served this day.