Fic: Digital Sea
Title: Digital Sea
Pairing: House/Cameron
Rating: K
Word Count:
Summary: House is at Mayfield thinking about Cameron...and her new life.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Song from Thrice, Digital Sea, listen to it, look it up or something, good song to go with it while reading this...House-ish to me for some odd reason...
I woke, cold and alone
Adrift in an open sea
Caught up in regrets
And tangled in nets
House awoke with a startle. An oatmeal color varnished the walls, a singular bed nestled in the corner, a counter to place things on, and a simple lamp table off to the far end and an insignificant window covered with bars looking off into the far distance of trees and a solitary road was the only thing displayed in the room. He sat up and leaned against the wall, hoping that Amber wouldn’t appear. He wanted to thank god but knew that no one would answer. The visions of Amber had partially ceased, even going so far as to tell the doctors. He had a session with one of them, to prove his sanity but the attempt was futile, and when it ended she was waiting for him, arms crossed, standing against the wall and smirking. He thought that he had gotten rid of her...
Now as he sat on his bed, he tipped his head back and let it rest against the wall. His fingers itched to play his guitar, stung to let his hands go to work on his piano, burned to cook the very precious meals that he did occasionally, gasped to feel his bed and sheets and pillows and squeezing of tooth paste to make the tube look mutated, screamed to touch anything customary. It was hopeless and he was miserable. Suddenly, Mike came in, his 'nurse' and offered a plate of food. House followed him with his eyes.
"Tell me Mike,” he began, "how much would it cost me to get you to bust me out of here?"
Mike looked at him. "Not gonna happen Dr. House. If I stand corrected, it was you who decided to come here."
House looked down at his hands. "Yes! You are correct, but now I think that that was a stupid mistake of mine. You guys aren’t helping at all."
Mike set the tray down on the counter. "Sorry about that sir, I'll make sure to put in a word to the docs."
"I'm a doctor. Put in a good word and tell them that the doctor smarter than them doesn’t need their help anymore. Tell them that I’m fine. Tell them to go shove it."
Mike smiled. "You always this caustic? Or were you just raised to be an asshole?"
"Some say that I was born to be this way, others say that my mommy and daddy didn’t love me enough and some say that I was made this way. After that does it really matter?"
Mike arched an eyebrow. "Hmmm maybe your right. Well then, whatever it is it sure as hell won’t help you here. Have a good meal," and with that Mike was gone.
House eyed the food and made a disapproving face. He limped over to it fingered it.
"Can you even call this crap food?"
He limped back and laid down on his bed, hands behind his head, closed his eyes and drifted in and out. His mind brought him back to Wilson. The very few precious moments, their friendship tested with his stay in Mayfield. Wilson was behind him no matter what and House acknowledged that. He had asked what had been going around the hospital, and as always Wilson told him. Cuddy's daughter was growing, Foreman obtaining 'rights' over Taub and 13 and his patients. He could recall him side stepping a certain topic.
"What about Cameron?"
"They just came back from their honeymoon."
"...She didn’t want to be homeless..."
"What?"
House looked away then back at him. "...Nothing."
After a moment, "How are you doing?"
"How do you think I’m doing? These doctors are complete idiots."
Wilson sighed. "If you chose to come here House it’s because-"
"-I've acknowledged the fact that something is wrong with me," he said rubbing his temple.
Wilson nodded. "House-"
"5 minutes doc," Mike interrupted.
Wilson lifted a hand in acceptance. "House, just try and be a good boy. I don’t know why I'm telling you this but, agree with what they do, try and...you’re allergic to this but, try and listen to them. We all don’t like being told what to do, but they've seen this before and with them you could get better. Just try it out House, please."
House looked at Wilson and nodded. "Alright..."
"Really?!"
"No."
"Can't say I didn’t try."
"Hmm."
"Well, it's time for me to go. I'll tell Cuddy that you said a friendly 'your blouse is cut too short and you have food in your hair', Foreman a black power fist, 13 to send a tape of her and another woman, Taub umm....hi, Chase 'Skippy' and Cameron a 'I still think that you look like a hooker'. How'd I do?"
House smiled sincerely and nodded in approval.
"Alright House, I'll see you next week."
"Wilson."
"House."
"Good day."
"Likewise."
Instead of your arms wrapped around me
And I wept, but my tears are anathema here
Just more water to fill my lungs
I hear someone scream
"God what is it we have done?"
House played sea monster in the tub. His head bobbing up and down, only his eyes visible to anyone that would enter the room.
She didn’t want to be homeless.
She had married Chase despite her jitters. A part of him ached, another didn’t bother to care. The aching part began to tilt in the scale. It was winning.
He sat there in the water and began to think, conjuring up anagrams. Gregory House. Huge Ego Sorry. Repetitive. Allison Cameron. Moron Alliances.
"You got that right," he said looking at the empty room.
Allison House. Anus Hole Oils. Hail Ones Soul. Allusions Hoe. Fitting, but not very nice.
He tried again. "Enormous Ache."
House sat up and let the water hover around him, stilling as much as possible before descending his hand creating ripples.
Allison Chase. Anal Ice Slosh. He didn’t even know what that meant. Alas, lose inch. The words displayed in his mind could go either way. House looked down to see that his penis had shrunk ever so slightly. But the better part of him conjured that it could also mean that with Chase, she wouldn’t be with a real man, but what did that matter now? They were married. She went through with it.
The water was chilled and it felt implausible to his callousness. His body went limp and let it drift under water...
I am drowning in a digital sea
I am slipping beneath the sound
Here my voice goes to ones and zeros
I'm slipping beneath the sound
Outside, Mike was waiting for House to finish. Going past his usual time was nothing short of routine, but something didn’t sit too well with him. He knocked once, twice, three times and nothing. No bitter remark of 'just wanting to see him naked', nothing. Slowly he jiggled the doorknob and went inside...
A song from somewhere below
Deadly and slow begins
Both sickly and sweet
Now picking up speed
Ushering in the world's end
And the ghost of Descartes screams again in the dark
"Oh how could I have been so wrong?"
But above the screams the sirens sing their song
House felt a hard thump and wetness close around his throat. He spat up water, his lungs beginning to fill with oxygen, his senses coming back, blurriness no longer visible, now holding 3 faces hovering above him.
"What happened?" he asked groggily.
"You tried to cut yourself off."
"You drowned," said a younger nurse.
House looked up and saw the water puddle around him, splashes from where they had tried to get him out marked around the room, spatter patterns on the walls closest to the tub. He tried to sit up but another nurse’s hand stopped him.
"Woah, there. We have to take you into the hospital wing."
"Don’t be stupid," he sat up anyways, "I didn’t drown. I’d be dead or in critical condition."
"You just told us otherwise."
"I didn’t try to kill myself. 97 seconds isn’t anything."
"What?"
"Nothing."
"Regardless, we have to take you in, evaluate you."
House glared at them but went anyways.
I am drowning in a digital sea
I am slipping beneath the sound
Here my voices goes to ones and zeros
I'm slipping beneath the sound
The bed was itchy. He hated it. He hated the color on the walls. He hated the stupid rubber plant by his side. He hated having to be there. He hated that place.
There was a knock on the door. House flipped over to the side facing the wall and told them to nicely 'fuck off'. The door creaked open and footsteps were heard. It was bad enough that he was in that place, now no one would abide by his request.
"I told you to," he flipped over and was stunned to find Cameron standing there, faded jeans, olive sweater with a white shirt beneath. She looked radiant.
"Cameron."
"Hi, House."
He suddenly didn’t feel all too well. "What are you doing here?"
"I came to visit you."
"Well that I could see," he said returning to his old caustic self.
"Just wanted to see how you were doing."
"That one time incident wasn’t good enough for you to watch that you have to come in here and see this one?"
"So it was an attempt."
He shook his head. "Nope. Just forgot to breath underwater. I’m trying out to be a life guard; they have to be able to hold their breath for long periods of time."
"House," she warned.
"I was drowning in a Digital Sea."
"Don’t start, not now, not after this."
"What does it matter to you? You’re not the one here. I’m nothing to you. Don’t come in here and do what you do best by caring. I already have one person doing that."
"House, how can you even say that?"
"Easy, I just did. You’re married now. Go and live your life. Be with Chase, sprout 5 kids, I'll be here."
She shook her head. "You can’t even be reasonable for one second can you? You put up all of these walls because you’re scared, scared to finally-"
"-Finally what?"
"...I don’t know..."
"Don’t try and come in here trying to be psychological on me. I have people for that too."
Cameron laughed. "I don’t even know what I’m doing here...I should leave."
House gritted his teeth. "No, waaaait."
"Hmm?"
"Sor-it's just been...hell in here. Amber...," he felt that he had said too much already but watched the way that she looked at him. Something told him that a part of her still loved him. He laughed to himself. That ship had sailed...
"Amber what?"
"No, never mind."
"House," she walked up to him and sat down on the chair nearby. "I know about you and your relationship with privacy but you could tell me. I’m not your fellow any more, I’m not here as some sort of twisted representation of the hospital I’m just here as your...friend."
"I don’t want friends. I don’t want you as a friend."
She got up. "I really should be going now."
"You know what I meant."
"Exactly. I can’t, you can’t, and we can’t. I’m-"
"Married. I see the ring."
"How'd-why di-why didn’t you say anything?! Wait until I got married to finally say something?!"
"I thought you wouldn’t go through with that, you had more cons then pros listed."
Cameron began to lightly pace. "You could have said something!"
"What was I going to say? Oh Cameron, Oh Cameron, come to me and be with me? Let us join our souls in an inseparable love?"
"No. A simple sign of I like you would have been enough."
"Do you still love me?" he said abruptly.
Cameron stopped pacing and stood there shocked. "I-I-I."
The door opened. "Your times up," the young nurse from earlier said.
"Ok," she said gathering herself. "I should be going now."
"...ok...”
"Bye House," she said, hesitated, and then leaned in to carefully place a kiss against his lips. House watched her go and lifted his hand to rub them. He sat there looking at the door and sunk deeper into the mattress. He got his answer.
Here my voice goes to ones and zeros...
Here my voice goes to ones and zeros...
Here my voice goes to ones and zeros...
Here my voice goes to ones and zeros...
Here my voice goes to ones and zeros...
Here my voice goes to ones and zeros......
I dont know what the other [read more] is about...