OH MY
WELL MY LIFE HAS BEEN A HANDFUL LATELY. THIS WHOLE BIG THING GETS BLOWN OUT OF PROPORTION AND NOW I AM GOING TO BE ON PROBATION MAYBE EVEN HOUSE ARREST. AND IF I EVEN "LOOK THE WRONG WAY" I AM GOING TO JUVY FOR AT LEAST TWO WEEKS WHICH MEANS I WOULD GET KICKED OUT OF SCHOOL AND I WOULD HAVE TO GET MY GED IN JAIL LIKE RYAN DID. OH I MISS HIM SO MUCH. ITS WEIRD THAT YOU DONT REALIZE WHAT YOU HAD UNTIL ITS GONE. I KEEP SEEING HIS PERFECT SMILE IN MY HEAD...WITH HIS PERFECT TEETH AND CUTE DIMPLES AND ADORABLE NOSE. WHY GOD WHY. SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY LIKED ME FOR ME EVEN WITH THE DRUGS ( PROBABLY BECAUSE HE WAS A DRUGGIE TOO) AND NOW HE IS GONE. PROBABLY FOR GOOD. LETS JUST HOPE HE DOES WHAT HE HAS ALWAYS DONE AND COMES BACK. I WOULD GIVE HIM THE BIGGEST HUG IN THE WORLD. I EVEN MISS HIS LIPS AND THE WAY HE KISSED ME. AND THE WAY HE WOULD CUDDLE WITH ME. I HAVE THE WORST LUCK EVER. I CANT EVEN DROWND MY SORROWS IN METH BECAUSE I WILL GET RANDOM PEE TESTS ALL THE TIME. PLUS I PROMISED MY MO THAT I WAS GOING TO TRY NOT TO DO IT ANYMORE. I MEAN IF I THINK ABOUT IT I SPENT SO MUCH MONEY ON IT. I PROBABLY COULD HAVE GOTTEN A CAR. ALL I KNOW IS IM BACK AND HAPPY THAT IM BACK CUZ I MISSED DANI LIKE YOU WOULDNT BELIEVE AND I WANT RYAN TO COME BACK TO ME! OR AT LEAST CALL ME OR DANI SO WE KNOW HE'S ALRIGHT! I STILL HAVE HIS SWEATSHIRT AND I WEAR IT EVEN THOUGH IT IS 130 DEGREES. BUT ITS REALLY COLD IN THE CLASSROOMS. ITS KINDA LIKE MY SECURITY BLANKET. I DONT KNOW MAYBE IM JUST WEIRD AND MISSING RYAN TOO MUCH. HE PROBABLY DOESNT EVEN MISS ME. WELL IM GOING TO GO DO HOMEWORK NOW. PEACE