Things In Life Never Cease To Amaze Me
Disclaimer: Don't read this unless you care about my future. Lol.
Never begin to think that you know what's going on. Don't even kid yourself. I think about the past three years and I find room for some bad memories..
Why?
I have no idea.
When I think about the last three years as a whole I look at it with a a silly sort of giddy smile on my face. Although it makes me wonder what could have been different; and will be different because of it. The sad realization after thinking about the past though is, that it's all time passed.
It's the future that really scares me though.
And by the way, why is it that, this year, of all years I get close to people who are turning a new leaf in their book of life? All these people starting an entirely new chapter.
I sort of wish at times that I could just hurry up and do the same.
At the same time as being excited about my senior year of high school, I look at it as a shackle to my leg. I find myself asking 'what happened to things and people?' a lot. I also find myself asking 'when am I going to get out of here?' a lot. I'm so used to being delt bad hands in life so much that now that life seems sort of balanced and neutral, I want so badly a full house.
Win this game for once...
I just don't know what it is I want the most right now. I really don't. I try to think about my own goals. Persistance is key I guess. I sort of feel like if I tell myself my main priority in life up until after college is me that I'll believe it. But honestly who wants to have that one track out look on their future? My plans for college have me getting out of school at age twenty-four. It's insane to think that when my parents were that age they had been married five years and had a little boy to show for it.
I've grown a lot I think...
There's no more self pity going on.. I suppose that's what I used to consume my time with. Self pity. Being content sometimes is so boring.. Lol. Nothing to do. Now I just don't know what to do with myself. I want someone to tell me how to act, so at least I'm occupied with trying to meet their commands. Gosh... Life is so long... And so short.... All at the same time. Blah... This is going to be quite the life I lead if I do what I plan to...
Let me tell you...
Never begin to think that you know what's going on. Don't even kid yourself. I think about the past three years and I find room for some bad memories..
Why?
I have no idea.
When I think about the last three years as a whole I look at it with a a silly sort of giddy smile on my face. Although it makes me wonder what could have been different; and will be different because of it. The sad realization after thinking about the past though is, that it's all time passed.
It's the future that really scares me though.
And by the way, why is it that, this year, of all years I get close to people who are turning a new leaf in their book of life? All these people starting an entirely new chapter.
I sort of wish at times that I could just hurry up and do the same.
At the same time as being excited about my senior year of high school, I look at it as a shackle to my leg. I find myself asking 'what happened to things and people?' a lot. I also find myself asking 'when am I going to get out of here?' a lot. I'm so used to being delt bad hands in life so much that now that life seems sort of balanced and neutral, I want so badly a full house.
Win this game for once...
I just don't know what it is I want the most right now. I really don't. I try to think about my own goals. Persistance is key I guess. I sort of feel like if I tell myself my main priority in life up until after college is me that I'll believe it. But honestly who wants to have that one track out look on their future? My plans for college have me getting out of school at age twenty-four. It's insane to think that when my parents were that age they had been married five years and had a little boy to show for it.
I've grown a lot I think...
There's no more self pity going on.. I suppose that's what I used to consume my time with. Self pity. Being content sometimes is so boring.. Lol. Nothing to do. Now I just don't know what to do with myself. I want someone to tell me how to act, so at least I'm occupied with trying to meet their commands. Gosh... Life is so long... And so short.... All at the same time. Blah... This is going to be quite the life I lead if I do what I plan to...
Let me tell you...