The Story to End All Stories
...Alrite so the other nite me and a bunch of friends had a big scavenger hunt. Our lists included all sorts of obscure items like Domino's garlic dipping sauce that they don't give anymore and kitty litter, and religous pamphlets and all kinds of crap. Also a lot of things involving pictures like getting a picture of a chick kissing you, and you sitting on a cop car and stuff. Which yeah...like I saw these two random chics and they both kissed me at the same time which..um..yeah I rule! Ha, I came across them in Spring Lake. Their names were Sarah and Erica. Cool gurlz too! Luv em. So my team somehow ended up just being me and Pierson. Then we were up against Mullaney, Ackerman, Van Brug and Heather got into it at one point which umm...sure why not. So we're going nuts doing all this stuff. These three tasks will build up the story for later on....we needed a d20 dice, gay porn and a picture of a chick in a bikini. So when we decided to find them...we broke into Mullaney's house...I grabbed one of his d20's and HID all his other ones in his house so that he wouldn't be able to get one if he tried. Then we went on his computer and printed out some gay porn. Then a picture of a chick in a bikini. So alright we ended up two and a half hours later at dnd to see who won. And strangely it ended up a tie-we each had twenty tasks accomplished. So craig called for sudden death which breaks the rules and we had to get three items which by any means necessary...like we could just go buy the items and stuff and whoever came back to dnd with all three first is the winner. Keep in mind that the winning team was receiving around eighty dollars total, thanx to Craig for fucking being awesome. So me and Pierson would be leaving with forty dollars each....
...So the three items were announced and we burned the fuck out of that parking lot. We needed to obtain a durex condom, an oatmeal cookie...and dog shit. So we went right over to the a+p and snagged the first two luckily and easily. I had to buy a pack of about fifty oatmeal cookies but that was ok. And I'm sure it wasn't gay as hell when me and Pierson walk up and bought condums together but yeah we went to Pete's to look for dogshit in his backyard. Him and his family were asleep at this time so were pretty much crawling around his backyard using the lights of our cellphones looking for dogshit hahaha. We were just imagining if his parents came out or something and we're just fuckin doing that and like Oh yeah we're just looking for Pete. So we failed and didn't find any so Pierson's idea was that we go over to the farms by the intermediate school because there's got to be lots of animal shit there. So we took our bottle which we were going to scoop some shit in and headed for that territory...
...We got there and at the first spot we were looking then some funky fucked up wildebeast came running at us and we went running like fuck like little bitches...so we pulled up a little more and parked on the side of the road with his hazards on and we're looking. When all of the sudden.....Walls finest pulls up. The cop asks what we're doing. Pierson makes up this story about how he was talking on his cell-phone and his friend said something that pissed him off and he threw the phone out the window. And somehow it was actually believable because he's going on about how the cellphone doesn't really work anyway and how he needs to get a new one but then he realized someone could be calling his phone and racking up his bill if he just left it there..so we went back to get it. So the cops all like what the fuck, something's not making sense here. He calls for backup and he's trying to find a reason to search the vehicle so he's making up this bullshit saying to Chris..."I smell booze on your breathe bro." Which was regurgitated flatfooted bullshit...
So his backup came which was cool and we talked brutal ink and of my relation to Jack Glassford. Ultimately...the first one searched our vehicle, didn't find anything to harm us and just said alright don't be throwing your phone out of the window or anything. So we left...and started to realize....the bags in the truck were all on the floor and stuff and when this guy searched the vehicle...he must have saw a bag of GAY PORN!!!...and CONDUMS!!! haaaaaaaaaaa. Then we remembered when he was done searching he said..."so who's the lucky one tonite boys?" haha so he was def aware of the condums which were in the same bag. So we figure they probably wrote a memo of us....FUCKING QUEERS!..Don't even LOOK at them. To make them think we're even morrre confused if he opened up the picture of gay porn he probably also opened up a random picture of a chic in a bikini!?!?! wtf, that must not have been surreal. Maybe as surreal as also coming across a religous pamphlet when we're skumbound anyway. And because of that we lost the competition. But we gained the rights of being able to tell this awesome story. And we're now the Wall Township gay couple.
Here's a few teaser pics from the event...
This one was from the Picture of a teammate pissing on a car task...
This guy was a help along our journeys...thanx for being there Joe...Luv ya Lots(frendz 4eva)...
And this is what was thought of as the impossible mission. To get a picture of a member with Vinnie from dnd in it...smiling. We hold extreme pride in this picture. All in all it was some of the best fun ever, next scavenger hunt will be wednesday. We will all put in 5-10 dollars so that the winning team brings home a lotta cash.
...So the three items were announced and we burned the fuck out of that parking lot. We needed to obtain a durex condom, an oatmeal cookie...and dog shit. So we went right over to the a+p and snagged the first two luckily and easily. I had to buy a pack of about fifty oatmeal cookies but that was ok. And I'm sure it wasn't gay as hell when me and Pierson walk up and bought condums together but yeah we went to Pete's to look for dogshit in his backyard. Him and his family were asleep at this time so were pretty much crawling around his backyard using the lights of our cellphones looking for dogshit hahaha. We were just imagining if his parents came out or something and we're just fuckin doing that and like Oh yeah we're just looking for Pete. So we failed and didn't find any so Pierson's idea was that we go over to the farms by the intermediate school because there's got to be lots of animal shit there. So we took our bottle which we were going to scoop some shit in and headed for that territory...
...We got there and at the first spot we were looking then some funky fucked up wildebeast came running at us and we went running like fuck like little bitches...so we pulled up a little more and parked on the side of the road with his hazards on and we're looking. When all of the sudden.....Walls finest pulls up. The cop asks what we're doing. Pierson makes up this story about how he was talking on his cell-phone and his friend said something that pissed him off and he threw the phone out the window. And somehow it was actually believable because he's going on about how the cellphone doesn't really work anyway and how he needs to get a new one but then he realized someone could be calling his phone and racking up his bill if he just left it there..so we went back to get it. So the cops all like what the fuck, something's not making sense here. He calls for backup and he's trying to find a reason to search the vehicle so he's making up this bullshit saying to Chris..."I smell booze on your breathe bro." Which was regurgitated flatfooted bullshit...
So his backup came which was cool and we talked brutal ink and of my relation to Jack Glassford. Ultimately...the first one searched our vehicle, didn't find anything to harm us and just said alright don't be throwing your phone out of the window or anything. So we left...and started to realize....the bags in the truck were all on the floor and stuff and when this guy searched the vehicle...he must have saw a bag of GAY PORN!!!...and CONDUMS!!! haaaaaaaaaaa. Then we remembered when he was done searching he said..."so who's the lucky one tonite boys?" haha so he was def aware of the condums which were in the same bag. So we figure they probably wrote a memo of us....FUCKING QUEERS!..Don't even LOOK at them. To make them think we're even morrre confused if he opened up the picture of gay porn he probably also opened up a random picture of a chic in a bikini!?!?! wtf, that must not have been surreal. Maybe as surreal as also coming across a religous pamphlet when we're skumbound anyway. And because of that we lost the competition. But we gained the rights of being able to tell this awesome story. And we're now the Wall Township gay couple.
Here's a few teaser pics from the event...
This one was from the Picture of a teammate pissing on a car task...
This guy was a help along our journeys...thanx for being there Joe...Luv ya Lots(frendz 4eva)...
And this is what was thought of as the impossible mission. To get a picture of a member with Vinnie from dnd in it...smiling. We hold extreme pride in this picture. All in all it was some of the best fun ever, next scavenger hunt will be wednesday. We will all put in 5-10 dollars so that the winning team brings home a lotta cash.