Breaking patterns
It used to be that I didn't go anywhere without a book. I went through books like Kleenex, devouring every page. Then, some point around when I started graduate school, I became "too busy" to read much. I was reading for class by my for-fun reading tapered off. Then after I graduated, I was still somehow "too busy" for reading for pleasure.
The same thing happened with my artwork. I did some field sketches here and there while hiking, but art projects I had started just languished. My bins of art supplies went untouched. I was too busy for artwork, too. I kept meaning to make it a higher priority but it just never happened. Reading and art, two of my favorite hobbies, were just too time consuming.
But what was I doing with all the hours in my days? I wasn't really sure.
Today I stumbled upon a great essay In the Land of the Non-Reader and it really struck a chord with me. Especially this line:
"I can no longer relax. My Skyrim character now has a longer to-do list than my red-flagged Outlook task-list at work. My days at work and home consist of quests and side-quests leading to more quests and side-quests. I have lost the main narrative."
I have lost the main narrative of my life, too. My life isn't about Kindle games or MMORPGs or even roleplaying games. Those are fun activities but clearly my reasons for not reading are not a matter of time.
This week I've been trying to give myself that time. I haven't been playing Rift, I have been staying off my computer as much as possible. I've been reading, I've been drawing, and it feels so good. I started three art pieces this week, finished two so far, which is more artwork than I did in the entirety of 2011.
I need to focus on the main narrative of my life. What do I want to be able to say I accomplished at the end of the day? Some days it may well be leveling my character. But years from now I will still have the ideas and enjoyment I gleaned from books, and I will have artwork and artistic skills I honed by my projects. My characters in Rift will be dead digital ones and zeros somewhere. I want to be able to have the main narrative of my life be creative, life-affirming and a constant search for more knowledge. The side quests of games are good, too, but they are truly only the side quests.
The same thing happened with my artwork. I did some field sketches here and there while hiking, but art projects I had started just languished. My bins of art supplies went untouched. I was too busy for artwork, too. I kept meaning to make it a higher priority but it just never happened. Reading and art, two of my favorite hobbies, were just too time consuming.
But what was I doing with all the hours in my days? I wasn't really sure.
Today I stumbled upon a great essay In the Land of the Non-Reader and it really struck a chord with me. Especially this line:
"I can no longer relax. My Skyrim character now has a longer to-do list than my red-flagged Outlook task-list at work. My days at work and home consist of quests and side-quests leading to more quests and side-quests. I have lost the main narrative."
I have lost the main narrative of my life, too. My life isn't about Kindle games or MMORPGs or even roleplaying games. Those are fun activities but clearly my reasons for not reading are not a matter of time.
This week I've been trying to give myself that time. I haven't been playing Rift, I have been staying off my computer as much as possible. I've been reading, I've been drawing, and it feels so good. I started three art pieces this week, finished two so far, which is more artwork than I did in the entirety of 2011.
I need to focus on the main narrative of my life. What do I want to be able to say I accomplished at the end of the day? Some days it may well be leveling my character. But years from now I will still have the ideas and enjoyment I gleaned from books, and I will have artwork and artistic skills I honed by my projects. My characters in Rift will be dead digital ones and zeros somewhere. I want to be able to have the main narrative of my life be creative, life-affirming and a constant search for more knowledge. The side quests of games are good, too, but they are truly only the side quests.