Movies in Review - I am Legend
Nix-xon presents: an I am Legend movie review!
To begin, the movie wasn't all that fantastic. Not to say that I didn't like it. I did, in fact. But it wasn't the best done zombie/monster/vampire/tribble/whatever movie I've seen.
I think I'll touch on what I didn't like first, before moving on to the better attributes.
The audience, after a quick peak at Emma Thompson, looking fabulous as always, is propelled three years into the 'future' with out any idea of what happened. The only thing we can do is piece together the goings-on from what Will Smith - Robert Neville - dreams.
Zombie/Vampire things [Darkhunters] have spawned from a vaccination which cures cancer. Point one: How? Call me crazy, but I'm fairly certain that most medicines don't turn one in ten people into creatures of the night. I'm not really too worried that when ever I take an aspirin, I'm going to sprout fangs, loose all me hair, and start ripping out people's throats uncontrollably. Which begs the question as to what exactly was in that fucking shit? Radio active plutonium? Gamma rays? Does a small percentage of the people who survived now posses super powers? Is Spider Man really a darkhunter? Wtf is going on? But I digress. Some how, the cure mutates, and turns people into killing machines with no hair. Then, for another un-explained reason, [I'm going to assume they tried to vaccinate it out, and it out smarted them] it mutates again and becomes air born. Which sucks, because now every one is dead. Except for a few immune people. And Chuck Norris. And Kieth Richards. And possibly Paris Hilton, because she's not really human any way.
Neville attempts to get his wife and his daughter off of the island, but they're hit by another helicopter and die. (OH NO!) Now all he has left is the dog, Sam [short for Samantha] and his masses upon masses of caned goods.
He has a lab in the basement where he tries to cure the infected. He tests on rats, than traps a darkhunter and tries to cure them too.
Except this time, he stole the wrong fucking darkhunter.
After running into a dark house [where the infected live] after his doggy, he comes across a 'hive' of the infected sleeping in a room. They sleep standing up, which looks like a circle jerk more than any thing else. [Mmmm, crackers.] They chase him. It is dramatic and suspenseful. Duh, duh, duh, and what not. He escapes, then goes back to get a test subject, after trapping one, the 'alpha male' comes to the door and screams in his creepy way at Neville. This zombie[thing] is played by Dash Mihok. Also known as this guy. That's right. Turns out that the zombie he stole, was the alpha male's mate. And because I hate typing alpha so much, I'm going to start calling him Mike. Got that? Mike = Alpha Male zombie/tribble/darkhunter thing.
More crap happens, the dog is killed, and than the god damned chick with the kid shows up.
I've seen it happen before. A new woman shows up with a kid, and BAM! Your relation ship is fucked up. In this case, it's Neville's relation ship with TEH CRAZY.
Now what I don't get is how did they onto the island? The bridges where all blown up, and unless they have guys with gondolas big enough to transport fucking SUVs back and forth between Manhattan and the rest of New York, there is no way they came from else where. Unless they swam, and then stole a car, or some thing. GAH, who cares, it was STUPID.
Anyway, the chick saves his life, they go back to his place and then there are Shrek clips. Neville is again, totally insane. Also, Anna [the chick] hears God. The religious under tone in this movie wasn't so much an under tone, but an under-tow, dragging you down with it. It all comes back to God. Spare me. But apparently, there is a leaper survivor colony some where to the north. Neville yells, bah blah blah.
INFECTED ARRIVE. THERE IS MUCH SCREAMING AND BLOWING UP. THEY APPEAR TO BE MUTATED ANTS, THE WAY THEY CLIMB THINGS.
Neville is thrown down a flight of stairs, and the only thing I could think while it was happening was 'EVERY ONE LOVES A SLINKY! YOU GOTTA GET A SLINKY!'
Chick and son hide in some sort of flue, I'm not to sure what the hell that was, and Neville grenades the pack of darkhuters in his lab to death.
Anna and son make it to colony. I remain unimpressed.
But there where some good moments, don't get me wrong. Some parts I really enjoyed.
The hunting of the deer was pretty sweet, in his shiny red car. Pretty great. Then there was the mannequins he had set up in the video store. That was also super. [Frank, one of the mannequins, comes into play latter.]
The golfing, and the gathering, and the lions, those where all good parts.
And than came the return of Frank. Now, Neville has the mate of Mike in his lab, and this pisses Mike off. You see, the infection reverts humans to a primal state, where only the basic laws serve. Things like pack dominance, and learning. They saw the way that Neville trapped Mike's mate [now re-named Gladys] and they rig a trap of their own. As he is driving through the city, he spies Frank is a totally different place than he was before. In the middle of a puddle, in the middle of a street. Neville goes all SAKUJO ape-shit and shoots up Frank's plastic body. He gets closer for a better inspection and WHAM his leg is caught in the trap and is now unconscious dangling from his leg. I went to the bathroom at this part, so I missed how he got out of the trap, but I can only assume he cut him self free. Then he is attacked by zombie-dogs, and I am reminded forcefully of Resident Evil. But I just love how complex all of that was, them following him, learning his habits, and using it all to their advantage. It's really very intriguing, and some thing they really, REALLY should have expanded on more. Which is why I think the movie lacks. It gives you a hint of some thing great, but than it's right back to OMGZOMBIESRUN!!!111!11
How ever, there is hope, as Gladys [before she gets blowed up, anyway...] is on the road to recovery, and yay! it's a [kind of] happy ending, hoorah and what not.
Over all, it was an okay movie, but again, not fantastic. The relation ship between Neville and Mike is really cool, but the sudden appearance of Anna and her spawn of a kid kind of brought the whole thing down for me. All in all, it's definitely worth seeing, if not just for the suspense and pretty puppy. [and Will Smith shirtless. OMFG.]
I give it a 3/5. Or a
if you prefer.
[EDIT] With a side of this.
That's all from me. Please let me know if you agree/disagree or would like to add some thing!
PEACE
-Nikki
ps. I totally want a zombie dog, that would be sweet. I would name him Lord Pop 'n Fresh. And I would love him to bits, yes I would!
To begin, the movie wasn't all that fantastic. Not to say that I didn't like it. I did, in fact. But it wasn't the best done zombie/monster/vampire/tribble/whatever movie I've seen.
I think I'll touch on what I didn't like first, before moving on to the better attributes.
The audience, after a quick peak at Emma Thompson, looking fabulous as always, is propelled three years into the 'future' with out any idea of what happened. The only thing we can do is piece together the goings-on from what Will Smith - Robert Neville - dreams.
Zombie/Vampire things [Darkhunters] have spawned from a vaccination which cures cancer. Point one: How? Call me crazy, but I'm fairly certain that most medicines don't turn one in ten people into creatures of the night. I'm not really too worried that when ever I take an aspirin, I'm going to sprout fangs, loose all me hair, and start ripping out people's throats uncontrollably. Which begs the question as to what exactly was in that fucking shit? Radio active plutonium? Gamma rays? Does a small percentage of the people who survived now posses super powers? Is Spider Man really a darkhunter? Wtf is going on? But I digress. Some how, the cure mutates, and turns people into killing machines with no hair. Then, for another un-explained reason, [I'm going to assume they tried to vaccinate it out, and it out smarted them] it mutates again and becomes air born. Which sucks, because now every one is dead. Except for a few immune people. And Chuck Norris. And Kieth Richards. And possibly Paris Hilton, because she's not really human any way.
Neville attempts to get his wife and his daughter off of the island, but they're hit by another helicopter and die. (OH NO!) Now all he has left is the dog, Sam [short for Samantha] and his masses upon masses of caned goods.
He has a lab in the basement where he tries to cure the infected. He tests on rats, than traps a darkhunter and tries to cure them too.
Except this time, he stole the wrong fucking darkhunter.
After running into a dark house [where the infected live] after his doggy, he comes across a 'hive' of the infected sleeping in a room. They sleep standing up, which looks like a circle jerk more than any thing else. [Mmmm, crackers.] They chase him. It is dramatic and suspenseful. Duh, duh, duh, and what not. He escapes, then goes back to get a test subject, after trapping one, the 'alpha male' comes to the door and screams in his creepy way at Neville. This zombie[thing] is played by Dash Mihok. Also known as this guy. That's right. Turns out that the zombie he stole, was the alpha male's mate. And because I hate typing alpha so much, I'm going to start calling him Mike. Got that? Mike = Alpha Male zombie/tribble/darkhunter thing.
More crap happens, the dog is killed, and than the god damned chick with the kid shows up.
I've seen it happen before. A new woman shows up with a kid, and BAM! Your relation ship is fucked up. In this case, it's Neville's relation ship with TEH CRAZY.
Now what I don't get is how did they onto the island? The bridges where all blown up, and unless they have guys with gondolas big enough to transport fucking SUVs back and forth between Manhattan and the rest of New York, there is no way they came from else where. Unless they swam, and then stole a car, or some thing. GAH, who cares, it was STUPID.
Anyway, the chick saves his life, they go back to his place and then there are Shrek clips. Neville is again, totally insane. Also, Anna [the chick] hears God. The religious under tone in this movie wasn't so much an under tone, but an under-tow, dragging you down with it. It all comes back to God. Spare me. But apparently, there is a leaper survivor colony some where to the north. Neville yells, bah blah blah.
INFECTED ARRIVE. THERE IS MUCH SCREAMING AND BLOWING UP. THEY APPEAR TO BE MUTATED ANTS, THE WAY THEY CLIMB THINGS.
Neville is thrown down a flight of stairs, and the only thing I could think while it was happening was 'EVERY ONE LOVES A SLINKY! YOU GOTTA GET A SLINKY!'
Chick and son hide in some sort of flue, I'm not to sure what the hell that was, and Neville grenades the pack of darkhuters in his lab to death.
Anna and son make it to colony. I remain unimpressed.
But there where some good moments, don't get me wrong. Some parts I really enjoyed.
The hunting of the deer was pretty sweet, in his shiny red car. Pretty great. Then there was the mannequins he had set up in the video store. That was also super. [Frank, one of the mannequins, comes into play latter.]
The golfing, and the gathering, and the lions, those where all good parts.
And than came the return of Frank. Now, Neville has the mate of Mike in his lab, and this pisses Mike off. You see, the infection reverts humans to a primal state, where only the basic laws serve. Things like pack dominance, and learning. They saw the way that Neville trapped Mike's mate [now re-named Gladys] and they rig a trap of their own. As he is driving through the city, he spies Frank is a totally different place than he was before. In the middle of a puddle, in the middle of a street. Neville goes all SAKUJO ape-shit and shoots up Frank's plastic body. He gets closer for a better inspection and WHAM his leg is caught in the trap and is now unconscious dangling from his leg. I went to the bathroom at this part, so I missed how he got out of the trap, but I can only assume he cut him self free. Then he is attacked by zombie-dogs, and I am reminded forcefully of Resident Evil. But I just love how complex all of that was, them following him, learning his habits, and using it all to their advantage. It's really very intriguing, and some thing they really, REALLY should have expanded on more. Which is why I think the movie lacks. It gives you a hint of some thing great, but than it's right back to OMGZOMBIESRUN!!!111!11
How ever, there is hope, as Gladys [before she gets blowed up, anyway...] is on the road to recovery, and yay! it's a [kind of] happy ending, hoorah and what not.
Over all, it was an okay movie, but again, not fantastic. The relation ship between Neville and Mike is really cool, but the sudden appearance of Anna and her spawn of a kid kind of brought the whole thing down for me. All in all, it's definitely worth seeing, if not just for the suspense and pretty puppy. [and Will Smith shirtless. OMFG.]
I give it a 3/5. Or a
if you prefer.
[EDIT] With a side of this.
That's all from me. Please let me know if you agree/disagree or would like to add some thing!
PEACE
-Nikki
ps. I totally want a zombie dog, that would be sweet. I would name him Lord Pop 'n Fresh. And I would love him to bits, yes I would!