Cooking Up Romance
I like cooking, especially making changes to the recipe that make the end product unique. Sure, merely following recipes when you first start is a good way to learn, but if that’s as far you go then something special just becomes normal and, well, boring. I’ve heard it said that the best chefs are men, and the key to being a good chef is, I think, creativity. What does this have to do with romance? They both share that same main ingredient of creativity, and just as men are the best chefs, they are meant to take the lead in romance. However, contrary to God’s design for the romantic relationship, the world tells men that romance is something that lies solely within the realm of femininity.
Men are told that women are supposed to be the ones putting effort into that sort of thing. What is normal and masculine is to assume a passive attitude toward their wives' or girlfriends’ desires for romance. And for a different slant on this perversion from God’s intention, there are also some men which the world calls "romantic." Hollywood produces them all the time, having affairs in which they play on what the desire of women, offering them an imitation of the romance they don’t find in marriage. That's not the romance I'm talking about. I'm talking about the creative expression of true, pure, godly love. A love whose joy doesn't come from sin, but from integrity. A love that is not selfish, but self-less. Romance is delighting another with what is good. True masculinity is taking the leadership in that romance.
If you read through the Song of Solomon it is always the man who takes initiative and romances the woman. What does she do? She responds. It's not wrong for a woman to be actively romantic, but I don't think you find in God's Word that she's to be the one responsible for keeping romance in the relationship. A healthy relationship between a man and a woman is when he creatively loves her, as God has designed him to do, and when she responds to his love. God put a hunger in women for romance from men, and in men a desire for women to respond to what they do. When they both seek to do that for the other then a romantic relationship is formed. Yet if you think about that, you have to come to the conclusion that ultimately the responsibility falls on the man. If there is nothing to respond too, then what can the woman do? He needs to try to spark that romance, even if she doesn't respond. That's how he's to be self-less. She, on her part, regardless of how clumsy or awkward his attempts may be at times, needs to show appreciation. Again, it's not what they can get out of each other, but what they can give. That's a true romance.
Men are told that women are supposed to be the ones putting effort into that sort of thing. What is normal and masculine is to assume a passive attitude toward their wives' or girlfriends’ desires for romance. And for a different slant on this perversion from God’s intention, there are also some men which the world calls "romantic." Hollywood produces them all the time, having affairs in which they play on what the desire of women, offering them an imitation of the romance they don’t find in marriage. That's not the romance I'm talking about. I'm talking about the creative expression of true, pure, godly love. A love whose joy doesn't come from sin, but from integrity. A love that is not selfish, but self-less. Romance is delighting another with what is good. True masculinity is taking the leadership in that romance.
If you read through the Song of Solomon it is always the man who takes initiative and romances the woman. What does she do? She responds. It's not wrong for a woman to be actively romantic, but I don't think you find in God's Word that she's to be the one responsible for keeping romance in the relationship. A healthy relationship between a man and a woman is when he creatively loves her, as God has designed him to do, and when she responds to his love. God put a hunger in women for romance from men, and in men a desire for women to respond to what they do. When they both seek to do that for the other then a romantic relationship is formed. Yet if you think about that, you have to come to the conclusion that ultimately the responsibility falls on the man. If there is nothing to respond too, then what can the woman do? He needs to try to spark that romance, even if she doesn't respond. That's how he's to be self-less. She, on her part, regardless of how clumsy or awkward his attempts may be at times, needs to show appreciation. Again, it's not what they can get out of each other, but what they can give. That's a true romance.