The Ballad of the Crappy Town Where I'm a Hero
A few days ago I was looking through some of my old work and I came across this Firefly piece that I composed a while back in my high school writing class, which brought back some memories. I figured, given that it was the fourth anniversary of Serenity's release, I might as well go ahead and post a revised version, just for fun.
Incidentally, I have backstory for this song, though it's not very detailed. Here's what I wrote approximately at the time:
When the crew of Serenity found out that Jayne had accidentally become the “Hero of Canton”, a small and sad little town of mudders (literally men who extract clay for several and surprisingly useful purposes), Hoban “Wash” Washburn found the situation incredibly hilarious if somewhat disconcerting considering Jayne’s often antisocial attitudes. To make light of the situation he remarked “Next time let’s go to the crappy town where I’m a hero!”
Several weeks later Zoe and he were in a fight about their often-conflicting views on the captain and their missions. After a bitter end Wash remembered his remark and made this song to make her laugh and cheer her up. It worked spectacularly and Wash soon found himself at work once again, tearing her clothes off.
It worked so well in fact that he saved it and wrote it down, and here it is, a rare glimpse at Wash’s masterpiece.
Enjoy, but keep in mind that, in spite of what I may claim, I am not a musician ;).
The Ballad of the Crappy Town Where I'm a Hero
By Hoban Washburn
Go way back when
Go very far
Go back to the days before this gos se bar
You may not remember
You may not care
But I recall when Hoban Washburn was heard of wide and far.
CHORUS
Wa-ash!
Wa-ash!
The her-o of legend!
Let's all go down to the crappy town where Wash is a her-o!
He burst right in
His eyes aflame
Smoking so fine that other men wept in shame
Then our hopes rose once more
For our hero came
For our Washburn, the king of men had come to save this vile day.
CHORUS
Wash took his guns
And aimed them straight
It was no accident Papa Li was late
In a flash, he took Tom Tzu
And did berate
Said Tzu was the criminal and to meet at noon for the date.
CHORUS
They met at noon
And made a show
Six bullets flew and then Tzu's pulse hit zero
The town awarded him
Though he declined
Now let's all go down to the crappy town where I am a her-o!
(Once more!)
CHORUS x2
Incidentally, I have backstory for this song, though it's not very detailed. Here's what I wrote approximately at the time:
When the crew of Serenity found out that Jayne had accidentally become the “Hero of Canton”, a small and sad little town of mudders (literally men who extract clay for several and surprisingly useful purposes), Hoban “Wash” Washburn found the situation incredibly hilarious if somewhat disconcerting considering Jayne’s often antisocial attitudes. To make light of the situation he remarked “Next time let’s go to the crappy town where I’m a hero!”
Several weeks later Zoe and he were in a fight about their often-conflicting views on the captain and their missions. After a bitter end Wash remembered his remark and made this song to make her laugh and cheer her up. It worked spectacularly and Wash soon found himself at work once again, tearing her clothes off.
It worked so well in fact that he saved it and wrote it down, and here it is, a rare glimpse at Wash’s masterpiece.
Enjoy, but keep in mind that, in spite of what I may claim, I am not a musician ;).
The Ballad of the Crappy Town Where I'm a Hero
By Hoban Washburn
Go way back when
Go very far
Go back to the days before this gos se bar
You may not remember
You may not care
But I recall when Hoban Washburn was heard of wide and far.
CHORUS
Wa-ash!
Wa-ash!
The her-o of legend!
Let's all go down to the crappy town where Wash is a her-o!
He burst right in
His eyes aflame
Smoking so fine that other men wept in shame
Then our hopes rose once more
For our hero came
For our Washburn, the king of men had come to save this vile day.
CHORUS
Wash took his guns
And aimed them straight
It was no accident Papa Li was late
In a flash, he took Tom Tzu
And did berate
Said Tzu was the criminal and to meet at noon for the date.
CHORUS
They met at noon
And made a show
Six bullets flew and then Tzu's pulse hit zero
The town awarded him
Though he declined
Now let's all go down to the crappy town where I am a her-o!
(Once more!)
CHORUS x2