(no subject)
I was surprised to find that it's already 3:30 in the afternoon. It seems like I've only just woken up. I'm intimidated by how easily the days are beginning to blend.
I laid outside on the most uncomfortable beach chair we own (the others are missing...?). It's only that way when I want to lay on my stomach, so my legs feel like they're hyperextending and my arms barely have room to rest and hold my book. I'm 5'3, mind you. So there is nothing lengthly about me. Not even my hair.
As I was lying on my stomach, resting my chin on one forearm and keeping the other close to my side, I began to feel anxious. How much longer will I be able to have such free time and relaxation? What will next month bring? Or next semester? I couldn't have predicted the mental exhaustion that has yet to go away. I began watching some red ants travel up and down blades of grass, making their way home or to find food. Why don't they just walk underneath the grass? Their effort is appalling. It was so hot out. Thankfully there was a slight breeze that would blow strands of hair from my shadow's head, where they would graze two or three small ant mounds with little, diligent workers.
I can't explain how afraid I am of the future. Not even what sort of people or places or jobs I might be confronted with. But, truly, my own mindset and its unpredictability. Sometimes things seem so hopeless when they really aren't and I end up sectioning myself off or missing out on many things that I would have tried a year ago.
I'm going to nap. :>
EDIT:
I just discovered that I slightly burned the area across my sternum and on top of my chest. Yay to getting ride of my winter skin!!
I laid outside on the most uncomfortable beach chair we own (the others are missing...?). It's only that way when I want to lay on my stomach, so my legs feel like they're hyperextending and my arms barely have room to rest and hold my book. I'm 5'3, mind you. So there is nothing lengthly about me. Not even my hair.
As I was lying on my stomach, resting my chin on one forearm and keeping the other close to my side, I began to feel anxious. How much longer will I be able to have such free time and relaxation? What will next month bring? Or next semester? I couldn't have predicted the mental exhaustion that has yet to go away. I began watching some red ants travel up and down blades of grass, making their way home or to find food. Why don't they just walk underneath the grass? Their effort is appalling. It was so hot out. Thankfully there was a slight breeze that would blow strands of hair from my shadow's head, where they would graze two or three small ant mounds with little, diligent workers.
I can't explain how afraid I am of the future. Not even what sort of people or places or jobs I might be confronted with. But, truly, my own mindset and its unpredictability. Sometimes things seem so hopeless when they really aren't and I end up sectioning myself off or missing out on many things that I would have tried a year ago.
I'm going to nap. :>
EDIT:
I just discovered that I slightly burned the area across my sternum and on top of my chest. Yay to getting ride of my winter skin!!