silent lucidity
So the day started off like most Mondays, I woke up went to Rae's house, got lunch, drove back to home cause she was tired from her flight. Normal shit. But then something good happened, I got to see my sister and Joe, Joe is the rarity in this equation, all that comes later.
So a bang at the door and it's my sister cool, I wanted to give her congrats for the recent proposal that was given to her. But there have been something’s that worried me about her and things that were going on with her. So I got her alone to talk to her.
Now in this talk I spoke my mind, something that I can do, but sometimes people will take me wrong, just cause of the verbiage that I use. I wanted to make known for fact that I was happy for her and that i hope things work out. That I DONOT dislike Joe, why would I? As usual I said some things that I’m sure were taking the wrong way. But I had questions and concerns, so I spoke up.
The major one that i'm not alone on, is that i think it's a tad to soon for her to be marrying. Not that it's a bad thing and I was sure that I added the fact that what ever I may say is merely a suggestion not something that i want done. Now I'm glad that they are at least waiting a year to get married, or as I was told more then a year, but I rounded down the two or three months. But I just don't want to see her get hurt, it's her first real relationship. I know what I thought and felt with mine, and I even know what my girlfriend at the time felt. I'm not saying that a first is never meant to last, I still talk to my first love, well the first one that wasn't insane I should add.
As expected I was met with some defensiveness, I can see why she might think that I was attacking her or even Joe. But I wasn’t trying. I asked some questions like if hey have had a fight or anything like that, I was shocked at the answer. They have had minor disagreements, about food and TV I guess. But they never had a real fight, I then told her that fighting isn't a bad thing as long as it's a healthy fight. Not like a fight that continues for days weeks and things like that. Likeness bring you together but differences keep you together. You need something as a conversation starter to breakup the monotony. Then I said something along the lines that most first loves aren't mint, and that a extremely high percentage of relationships that start like this fail. I didn’t even here the whistle from the stabilizers on this bomb, had the impact of a hydrogen bomb splitting atoms causing mass hysteria dogs and cats living happily with each other, halon klaxons blaring and the side swiping power of a unforeseen driver doing 90 into a parked car. Total blind side, Amanda responded to that by saying, I'm not going to cheat and he's not going to either. Freaked me, then she tells me that she doesn't even know how a relationship fails. I didn't know what to say, killed me really. My sister is about to get married and things are changing so fast and she has gotten such a naive attitude toward the whole thing that it shows she hasn't thought about anything about it.
It's not my place and I don't wanted it to be who she dates or likes or anything like that. But go into it with an open mind, open to everything, look ahead some steps. Take a step back and reassess the situation that you are in and then take another step from that and observe the surroundings that you are about to get into. all possibilities. Then Joe came down, and I asked him to go upstairs, he asked why. So I asked him again, I really wanted to reaffirm to my sister what I thought and was worried about but that i was still happy for her, yes I had a tone of irritation to it when i asked it the second time but it's just the way I am. I didn't have time to deal with him because i was trying to explain to Amanda that I wasn't saying that she shouldn't do this, I was expressing my worries. Then he did something that just made me respect him less. He asked Amanda if she was ok. Like I was going to beat her or something? WTF is that about? of all the people that I care about family is first and there is no way that I’m going to harm them in some way. Yeah when we were younger we used to go at it all the time. but as the ages increased so did the maturity level.
The one thing that Amanda did say is hat maybe that I don't know him well enough. That's true, but I has no bearing on my worries about what she's doing, and I would love to change that, but I'm never given the chance. I really think that he tries to avoid me. The last time that I tried to talk to him was like five minutes. Then it's like oh no I got to go. But then he goes off and talks about me in front of my other sister of the way that i act. It's like me trying to judge him, I've seen him less then ten times and never more then a half hour. It's not like i don't want to get to know him better, but i'm never given opportunity.
So in short, I talked to my sister today, concerns were voiced, things were said, some good, some that were just me and that I didn't mean, and I hope things work out, for everyone.
So a bang at the door and it's my sister cool, I wanted to give her congrats for the recent proposal that was given to her. But there have been something’s that worried me about her and things that were going on with her. So I got her alone to talk to her.
Now in this talk I spoke my mind, something that I can do, but sometimes people will take me wrong, just cause of the verbiage that I use. I wanted to make known for fact that I was happy for her and that i hope things work out. That I DONOT dislike Joe, why would I? As usual I said some things that I’m sure were taking the wrong way. But I had questions and concerns, so I spoke up.
The major one that i'm not alone on, is that i think it's a tad to soon for her to be marrying. Not that it's a bad thing and I was sure that I added the fact that what ever I may say is merely a suggestion not something that i want done. Now I'm glad that they are at least waiting a year to get married, or as I was told more then a year, but I rounded down the two or three months. But I just don't want to see her get hurt, it's her first real relationship. I know what I thought and felt with mine, and I even know what my girlfriend at the time felt. I'm not saying that a first is never meant to last, I still talk to my first love, well the first one that wasn't insane I should add.
As expected I was met with some defensiveness, I can see why she might think that I was attacking her or even Joe. But I wasn’t trying. I asked some questions like if hey have had a fight or anything like that, I was shocked at the answer. They have had minor disagreements, about food and TV I guess. But they never had a real fight, I then told her that fighting isn't a bad thing as long as it's a healthy fight. Not like a fight that continues for days weeks and things like that. Likeness bring you together but differences keep you together. You need something as a conversation starter to breakup the monotony. Then I said something along the lines that most first loves aren't mint, and that a extremely high percentage of relationships that start like this fail. I didn’t even here the whistle from the stabilizers on this bomb, had the impact of a hydrogen bomb splitting atoms causing mass hysteria dogs and cats living happily with each other, halon klaxons blaring and the side swiping power of a unforeseen driver doing 90 into a parked car. Total blind side, Amanda responded to that by saying, I'm not going to cheat and he's not going to either. Freaked me, then she tells me that she doesn't even know how a relationship fails. I didn't know what to say, killed me really. My sister is about to get married and things are changing so fast and she has gotten such a naive attitude toward the whole thing that it shows she hasn't thought about anything about it.
It's not my place and I don't wanted it to be who she dates or likes or anything like that. But go into it with an open mind, open to everything, look ahead some steps. Take a step back and reassess the situation that you are in and then take another step from that and observe the surroundings that you are about to get into. all possibilities. Then Joe came down, and I asked him to go upstairs, he asked why. So I asked him again, I really wanted to reaffirm to my sister what I thought and was worried about but that i was still happy for her, yes I had a tone of irritation to it when i asked it the second time but it's just the way I am. I didn't have time to deal with him because i was trying to explain to Amanda that I wasn't saying that she shouldn't do this, I was expressing my worries. Then he did something that just made me respect him less. He asked Amanda if she was ok. Like I was going to beat her or something? WTF is that about? of all the people that I care about family is first and there is no way that I’m going to harm them in some way. Yeah when we were younger we used to go at it all the time. but as the ages increased so did the maturity level.
The one thing that Amanda did say is hat maybe that I don't know him well enough. That's true, but I has no bearing on my worries about what she's doing, and I would love to change that, but I'm never given the chance. I really think that he tries to avoid me. The last time that I tried to talk to him was like five minutes. Then it's like oh no I got to go. But then he goes off and talks about me in front of my other sister of the way that i act. It's like me trying to judge him, I've seen him less then ten times and never more then a half hour. It's not like i don't want to get to know him better, but i'm never given opportunity.
So in short, I talked to my sister today, concerns were voiced, things were said, some good, some that were just me and that I didn't mean, and I hope things work out, for everyone.