normal again?
So, I've just about drank a litlle over a half of a fifth of vodka straight. Why is it that I feel ok now... I feel normal and happy and better now. Everything is clearer and easier. It all feels so much better. The fuuny thing is, I once again have the shakes. My eyes are ping pongin like crazy. I can't believe I can type, iots weird. But it feels awesome. Earlier, I was contemplating upon how it all got to where I'm at. I've always said I was gonna try drugs from the earliest age I can remeber. But, why? Everyone I've ever talked to that has or hasn't done drugs said they never would. But, all I can remeber from the youngest age is trying to drink and do as many drugs as possible. Why would that be? I mean the only reason I didn't start drugs sooner is bc I cared about my lungs for sports. But, besides that, I wouldn't of cared. What's so wrong with me, why am I so different. People look at me... Even when I'm dressed normal. I stand out, why is that. Can everyone subconciously see the difference I feel and experience daily. I'm more lost now than ever. I'm prisoner to numbness. My bad side is winning over the good one. Apathy has once again captured my heart, mind, and soul. Is it over... Or is there a comback? Drunk as fuck... I leave my self with that question. Is it too late? Am I too far gone?