Friendship, Trust, and Life
You know, at this point in my life, I've never felt better.
Maybe it's because I've felt more freedom now than at any other moment in my life. Before, I've always felt chained and weighted down by something, someone, or myself.
But after a lot of thinking, a nice talk about the universe with a friend, and reading Tanaka Yutaka's manga "Ai-Ren"... I finally realized something. (For all you readers, "Ai-Ren" is the current reason why I choose to get a freaking life right now and live each day to the fullest. Also a huge shout-out to BigVinny, p00kie and Gari of #solaris-svu and #k-manga@irchighway.net... you guys... thanks an awful freaking lot. Really.)
That everything that I thought was bound to me... I chose this. Everything that has happened has been the result of either a conscious choice or a state of mind... an attitude, if you will. I choose to study and be the best Opinion Editor in the Flambeau for I am bound to those who believe in me and what I can do. I choose to try and find love, for I have bound myself to find it and not wait. I choose to close my eyes, scratch my head, and laugh a bit every time someone mentions my past, for I have been bound to it by my choice and attitude.
Now do you understand why I am like this now? Personally, I have never felt happier... even happier than winning the Quiz Bee, because now I feel I have purpose in this world... I feel like I am here, now, and real, unlike the times where I wished everything would just explode and die... now I don't... not anymore. I've seen the beauty of everything, and I've got Yoshizumi Ikuru and Ai-chan to thank for that.
To a friend: I think you've never seen the extent of what I perceive friendship to be. I dispense advice freely, and say things that I guess nobody would ever tell you to your face. I've already told you why, but let me write it down: I'm bound by friendship to do these things... because I consider you a friend, I don't want to see you go through what I did. It's also a promise I've bound myself to: should I see someone, anyone who was in the same predicament as I was a decade ago, I just can't stand idly by and do nothing.
So, once again, if I've burned you badly behind your back, I apologize. Sometimes I get tired when my wishes get thrown away nearly all the time... and have to lash out at something.
So comes what could be the hardest lesson I've learned in life - your attitude does influence your surroundings. Call it mind over matter, call it fate, karma, what have you... even if you're an atheist, this truth is maintained by something that even I (or a Bible-toting preacher you can snatch off the street randomly) can't pretend to know.
Made easier, it's this: "the universe tends to shove crap in the face of people who carry on like they have something up their ass."
Today's events in a nutshell: Lottery winner has not claimed his prize yet, I'm still a fscking showoff at DDR 3rd Mix... what with my consecutive spins on Dub-I-Dub Trick, double 180's on Follow The Sun Basic, pseudo-spins on PARANOiA KCET Trick, and that one-anchor no-looker on Wonderland SSR, but sadly, I still can't pass "Dead End" heavy without collapsing in a heap - I can still only do up to three-fourths of the song. Also, I FINALLY passed Canon-D on Hard (starting to get used to the 5-arrow configuration), got into a bit of a tangle carrying a drink into an LRT station (I'm a dumbass, yes, I know), and finally taking care of business at school, what with every bit of my tutorial schedule to be scheduled at long last come Saturday or Monday (here's hoping this particular lottery winner claims his prize Saturday [note for the noobs reading this: no, I didn't win the lottery, and yes, this is a metaphor. Sorry...] or if not, Monday will do.
And... this is for pyreth.
http://cosbybebop.ytmnd.com
http://rrss.ytmnsfw.com
http://ultimatesuffering.ytmnd.com
http://unitedstatesofno.ytmnd.com
http://scott.ytmnd.com
http://bebubebududeh.ytmnd.com (Featuring Rex Navarrete!)
Now, back to your regularly scheduled school updates, proxies of my opinion column can be found here (past ones will probably be backdated accordingly), and some random rant about how Paul W. S. Anderson should be chucked in a barrel and thrown into a ravine for fscking up Alien vs. Predator... (and soon Castlevania... how ironic that the person to screw Belmont completely would not be Dracula but some lame self-confessed "fanboy")
Until next time...
Even if the world comes to an end,
Even if you die... or I die...
It's not that big a deal...
...it's not that big a deal.
Maybe it's because I've felt more freedom now than at any other moment in my life. Before, I've always felt chained and weighted down by something, someone, or myself.
But after a lot of thinking, a nice talk about the universe with a friend, and reading Tanaka Yutaka's manga "Ai-Ren"... I finally realized something. (For all you readers, "Ai-Ren" is the current reason why I choose to get a freaking life right now and live each day to the fullest. Also a huge shout-out to BigVinny, p00kie and Gari of #solaris-svu and #k-manga@irchighway.net... you guys... thanks an awful freaking lot. Really.)
That everything that I thought was bound to me... I chose this. Everything that has happened has been the result of either a conscious choice or a state of mind... an attitude, if you will. I choose to study and be the best Opinion Editor in the Flambeau for I am bound to those who believe in me and what I can do. I choose to try and find love, for I have bound myself to find it and not wait. I choose to close my eyes, scratch my head, and laugh a bit every time someone mentions my past, for I have been bound to it by my choice and attitude.
Now do you understand why I am like this now? Personally, I have never felt happier... even happier than winning the Quiz Bee, because now I feel I have purpose in this world... I feel like I am here, now, and real, unlike the times where I wished everything would just explode and die... now I don't... not anymore. I've seen the beauty of everything, and I've got Yoshizumi Ikuru and Ai-chan to thank for that.
To a friend: I think you've never seen the extent of what I perceive friendship to be. I dispense advice freely, and say things that I guess nobody would ever tell you to your face. I've already told you why, but let me write it down: I'm bound by friendship to do these things... because I consider you a friend, I don't want to see you go through what I did. It's also a promise I've bound myself to: should I see someone, anyone who was in the same predicament as I was a decade ago, I just can't stand idly by and do nothing.
So, once again, if I've burned you badly behind your back, I apologize. Sometimes I get tired when my wishes get thrown away nearly all the time... and have to lash out at something.
So comes what could be the hardest lesson I've learned in life - your attitude does influence your surroundings. Call it mind over matter, call it fate, karma, what have you... even if you're an atheist, this truth is maintained by something that even I (or a Bible-toting preacher you can snatch off the street randomly) can't pretend to know.
Made easier, it's this: "the universe tends to shove crap in the face of people who carry on like they have something up their ass."
Today's events in a nutshell: Lottery winner has not claimed his prize yet, I'm still a fscking showoff at DDR 3rd Mix... what with my consecutive spins on Dub-I-Dub Trick, double 180's on Follow The Sun Basic, pseudo-spins on PARANOiA KCET Trick, and that one-anchor no-looker on Wonderland SSR, but sadly, I still can't pass "Dead End" heavy without collapsing in a heap - I can still only do up to three-fourths of the song. Also, I FINALLY passed Canon-D on Hard (starting to get used to the 5-arrow configuration), got into a bit of a tangle carrying a drink into an LRT station (I'm a dumbass, yes, I know), and finally taking care of business at school, what with every bit of my tutorial schedule to be scheduled at long last come Saturday or Monday (here's hoping this particular lottery winner claims his prize Saturday [note for the noobs reading this: no, I didn't win the lottery, and yes, this is a metaphor. Sorry...] or if not, Monday will do.
And... this is for pyreth.
http://cosbybebop.ytmnd.com
http://rrss.ytmnsfw.com
http://ultimatesuffering.ytmnd.com
http://unitedstatesofno.ytmnd.com
http://scott.ytmnd.com
http://bebubebududeh.ytmnd.com (Featuring Rex Navarrete!)
Now, back to your regularly scheduled school updates, proxies of my opinion column can be found here (past ones will probably be backdated accordingly), and some random rant about how Paul W. S. Anderson should be chucked in a barrel and thrown into a ravine for fscking up Alien vs. Predator... (and soon Castlevania... how ironic that the person to screw Belmont completely would not be Dracula but some lame self-confessed "fanboy")
Until next time...
Even if the world comes to an end,
Even if you die... or I die...
It's not that big a deal...
...it's not that big a deal.