This cup of coffee, if they make it any stronger, might wake somebody up...
My apartment is a mess...
...I'm slightly depressed right now- no reason at all other than my medication has been at my place and I'm at home. This is aggravating because for the next couple days I'm going to feel very sad for no reason at all, while trying to reimburse my body for the days I neglected to do what I should have. I don't want to work. I don't want to go to school. I don't want my friends to leave and go back to college. Life would be blissful if I could lay in bed all the time, guilt free. It would seem as though my appreciation for life would die- but it's all I want to do anyway and if I had it- my appreciation would be endless. Fuck fucking CFS and it's tendency to suck the life out of me. I should get my sleep schedule back to where it should be. I'm supposed to strictly limit myself to eight hours of sleep a night and never take any naps. There was never a more impossible feat. I've sleep two straight days in a row, save bathroom breaks. But, the point is- is that this was easy, I'd do this all the time if left alone for too long. Why do I feel the need to whine to the world about this? I'm not sure...
Michael didn't call or come over. Honestly, my feelings were hurt, but I suppose I set myself up for this. I like Michael a lot. There are a lot of things that I need to quit dwelling on. Is this all I am lately? I am merely someone who is perpetually stuck on the past? I suppose I am. Noah and his friends Haley and Mick came over to my place, joined by Scott. The lack of alcohol and people who enjoy smoking pot instead made for bland times, however. I really liked seeing No and will miss him when he goes back home, tomorrow morning. He slept in my bed and it was nice to hug someone while you drift off, and there being no sexual pressure. Having a gay best friend is the best of both worlds.
I have a sinking feeling that Elle is going to want to stay in Utah when she gets back. I don't know what to do with this. Move home? Get a roommate that I don't know at all? But then again, nothing sounds appealing right now. I shouldn't have written this depressed crap, I don't know what to do with the way I feel right now. I shouldn't skip pills like this.
...I'm slightly depressed right now- no reason at all other than my medication has been at my place and I'm at home. This is aggravating because for the next couple days I'm going to feel very sad for no reason at all, while trying to reimburse my body for the days I neglected to do what I should have. I don't want to work. I don't want to go to school. I don't want my friends to leave and go back to college. Life would be blissful if I could lay in bed all the time, guilt free. It would seem as though my appreciation for life would die- but it's all I want to do anyway and if I had it- my appreciation would be endless. Fuck fucking CFS and it's tendency to suck the life out of me. I should get my sleep schedule back to where it should be. I'm supposed to strictly limit myself to eight hours of sleep a night and never take any naps. There was never a more impossible feat. I've sleep two straight days in a row, save bathroom breaks. But, the point is- is that this was easy, I'd do this all the time if left alone for too long. Why do I feel the need to whine to the world about this? I'm not sure...
Michael didn't call or come over. Honestly, my feelings were hurt, but I suppose I set myself up for this. I like Michael a lot. There are a lot of things that I need to quit dwelling on. Is this all I am lately? I am merely someone who is perpetually stuck on the past? I suppose I am. Noah and his friends Haley and Mick came over to my place, joined by Scott. The lack of alcohol and people who enjoy smoking pot instead made for bland times, however. I really liked seeing No and will miss him when he goes back home, tomorrow morning. He slept in my bed and it was nice to hug someone while you drift off, and there being no sexual pressure. Having a gay best friend is the best of both worlds.
I have a sinking feeling that Elle is going to want to stay in Utah when she gets back. I don't know what to do with this. Move home? Get a roommate that I don't know at all? But then again, nothing sounds appealing right now. I shouldn't have written this depressed crap, I don't know what to do with the way I feel right now. I shouldn't skip pills like this.