What the Crap?!?
So I have NO idea what the crap is wrong with me. My day was fine, and then all of the sudden it just took this HUGE nose dive. Now I'm all emotional, crying, and just not in a good mood...I think I'm PMSing..although its not all of it... Forgive me, but I think I'm about to have a dramtic moment.
I LET myself get hurt. I remembered all the good, but I forgot about all the bad. I didn't realize what I was doing to myself, and I was actually starting to believe that I was worth something. Yeah, that always bites me in the ass. I think a lot of it right now is me just beating myself up for doing this. I CAN'T BELIEVE MYSELF! My gosh, right now I feel like the dumbest person alive right now. I knew that this would happen. That's why I couldn't forget or forgive, that's why I couldn't see him, that's why I "hated" his guts...because I knew that I would only be the one to get hurt again. It's not his fault at all, it's all mine. What the heck was I thinking? Did I think that everything would fall back perfectly, or that I was kidding myself into thinking that I could learn not to really care about things such as this? In the end, I'm always the one who ends up hurt...so why should this be any different?
Sorry for the dramatic melt down...
Now, I dont feel like talking to anyone...so I'm going upstairs and I'm watching a movie in my pj's.
I LET myself get hurt. I remembered all the good, but I forgot about all the bad. I didn't realize what I was doing to myself, and I was actually starting to believe that I was worth something. Yeah, that always bites me in the ass. I think a lot of it right now is me just beating myself up for doing this. I CAN'T BELIEVE MYSELF! My gosh, right now I feel like the dumbest person alive right now. I knew that this would happen. That's why I couldn't forget or forgive, that's why I couldn't see him, that's why I "hated" his guts...because I knew that I would only be the one to get hurt again. It's not his fault at all, it's all mine. What the heck was I thinking? Did I think that everything would fall back perfectly, or that I was kidding myself into thinking that I could learn not to really care about things such as this? In the end, I'm always the one who ends up hurt...so why should this be any different?
Sorry for the dramatic melt down...
Now, I dont feel like talking to anyone...so I'm going upstairs and I'm watching a movie in my pj's.