(no subject)
You know, every time things start going right for me, I have a goal and a plan, something happens to bring it all crashing down like a house of cards. I don't want much out of life. Ideally, i'd live in a town i enjoy, have a job I don't hate, and a family to take care of. It's not hard on paper, is it? I don't want to live in a house shareing rent with two lazy bums who seem to see squalor as a perk! I don't want a job that keeps me from having a reasonable faximile of a social life! I want to be able to drop in on my friends, take them out to dinner or a bar, and catch up with them! What's so bloody hard about that!?
Maybe It's because the last time I slept was Tuesday. Maybe it's because I just got hired on a Jakel and realize it's 11 hour shifts with mandatory overtime (though weekends are always free), or that my job is overnight 5pm to 4:30 am. I have a chance to make the money needed to stay here, IF and ONLY CONTIGENT on my brother or/and Laurie getting a job in the next 4 days. And it's really getting to me, because if I hadn't have trusted my own brother, I wouldn't be in this mess! Now, when my income tax return comes in (I'll be getting around 900 dollars) I'm going to move into a place myself. It may be a 10ft square closet, but it will be mine, and I'll be able to eat in the kitchen without seeing mold growing on 3 month old dishes. I don't eat at home as it is, I can't stomach it.
Even best term I'll be scrounging every penny because we will need absoloutly all of it to make rent. And this job search and other, more personal issues have keep me from visiting campus, and my friends in Murray. I'm going to drop over there on Saturday and see if I can round anyone up.
I dunno. I ... need something more then this.
Maybe It's because the last time I slept was Tuesday. Maybe it's because I just got hired on a Jakel and realize it's 11 hour shifts with mandatory overtime (though weekends are always free), or that my job is overnight 5pm to 4:30 am. I have a chance to make the money needed to stay here, IF and ONLY CONTIGENT on my brother or/and Laurie getting a job in the next 4 days. And it's really getting to me, because if I hadn't have trusted my own brother, I wouldn't be in this mess! Now, when my income tax return comes in (I'll be getting around 900 dollars) I'm going to move into a place myself. It may be a 10ft square closet, but it will be mine, and I'll be able to eat in the kitchen without seeing mold growing on 3 month old dishes. I don't eat at home as it is, I can't stomach it.
Even best term I'll be scrounging every penny because we will need absoloutly all of it to make rent. And this job search and other, more personal issues have keep me from visiting campus, and my friends in Murray. I'm going to drop over there on Saturday and see if I can round anyone up.
I dunno. I ... need something more then this.