Mar 06, 2014 20:01
I just can't a handle on this year for some reason. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a this year is going to the worst or best kind of person. I just feel kind of lost outside of myself. I'm generally happy, I get to what I love every day but it's not without it's own hiccups and conflicts. Motherhood is going very we actually, I love it more than I could have imagined and i don't doubt myself as much as I thought I would. Marriage is such a gift and I'm so thankful everyday that I have with my dear husband who holds my hand through it all.
But my mom, my mom is our family and I never imagined her sick, she never was sick. She tirelessly took care of the sick (my grandma and father). And now she is sick but not sick. It's this boomerang of emotions that is tiring and just the worrying, the never ending worry that is getting to me.
We aren't meant to live forever but I thought for some reason I might get a pass with my mom and that she would die of old age. That's how it works right? (I kid)
via ljapp