JIMMY D!

Jun 27, 2004 23:14

'Oh! I had a whale of a time on the internet last night on the national croquet association website. Many mpegs of people hitting balls at interesting angles. It is the wimbledon tennis *and croquet* association, you know. People tend not to know that.'

'I can't hear you properly. You're competing with my computer fans. ...What do you mean move away? That's like asking someone talking on a motorway bridge to get off for a while - it's ridiculous. ...Of couse you would, if you were taking a stroll through the country, needed to cross a walkway, and suddenly your phone rang. What would you do? ..Really? I rather like walking. ...No that does not mean I'll 'like' walking away from my computer fans. Pardon? I can't hear you properly. But in any case, I am not going anywhere. Rather like this conversation.'

'Do you know, a guy got 15 minutes of extra time in an exam last week for having sweaty palms. I was utterly appalled. You don't even write with your palms, do you really.'

'What do you mean you don't approve of patriotism! Oh don't give me your socialist lefty shmefty shmaltzy.. doo-dahs. Patriotism and nationalism are not the same! You might in the same breath equate one who enjoys their food to one clinically obese!'

'I can't hear you properly, you're fading away. It's rather like talking to a phantom receding eerily into the distance.'

'I do love how you precede your pearls of wisdom with my name. Sort of 'this, Jimmy D, is the true light.' I feel that I'm being simultaneously schooled and blessed.'

'I once got a, oh what do you call them, a vocal message on my mobile. It was a builder, who said something like, 'ey-up Rob, 'av yer got the wood?' I was quite alarmed.'

'Sorry about that, my battery died. You thought it was my credit, but it was in fact my life-blood.'

'Yes, I shall be attending Miss Kitchener's party, as Freddy wishes me to. Male company, you see. The all-important backbone of the patriarchy.'

'Again, I can't hear you. That rather has been the leitmotif of our conversation, hasn't it.'

'Well, I began this conversation by telling you that I couldn't make the meeting on thursday, and I am signing off by submitting to your divine will. Like a cheap tent, I have caved in.'
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