shitty shit shit
wow. things are SUPPOSED to be getting better, right? that's what people told me. after the crappy few months or weeks or days or whatever the fcuk time period i've been in ... i needed to come home and just REST, feel LOVED, and remember who i am. it's just been a downhill slope for me right now. i'm not writing this out of HEY COME GIVE ME LOVE AND PITY... it's just a way for me to express, perhaps, why i may seem a little withdrawn and not myself.
but i realize there had to be some period in my life where it wasn't going to be all happy & lucky & amazing. so i think this is my time. but i'm DEFINITELY refraining from using "it could be worse" because it can always be worse and perhaps it will get worse.
wow i'm starting to sound depressed. but yes... bottomline: i basically want to see people because it's in people that i see and feel like i'm loved. at the same time, i DON'T want to see people - i'm having a shitty time and while they may help me feel cheered up... i don't want them to focus on trying to get me "better."
so thank you everyone for your concerns or your attention (because you probably had no clue wtf i've been talking about). i love you and happy holidays. hopefully i can see you sometime over this silly 10-day break.
but i realize there had to be some period in my life where it wasn't going to be all happy & lucky & amazing. so i think this is my time. but i'm DEFINITELY refraining from using "it could be worse" because it can always be worse and perhaps it will get worse.
wow i'm starting to sound depressed. but yes... bottomline: i basically want to see people because it's in people that i see and feel like i'm loved. at the same time, i DON'T want to see people - i'm having a shitty time and while they may help me feel cheered up... i don't want them to focus on trying to get me "better."
so thank you everyone for your concerns or your attention (because you probably had no clue wtf i've been talking about). i love you and happy holidays. hopefully i can see you sometime over this silly 10-day break.