(no subject)
i'd like to think i know better now, but i don't.
wonder how long it's going to be before i crack and move home.
i'm reminded of shaun talking about the edge community (i've never been of the persuasion but i have no problems with those who are). he verbally checked off a list of individuals in the community who he felt were close to breaking edge and i felt a strange amusement at the tragedy of a group at once so passionate and so fragile in their membership. he comes last to a person surely on the brink; "he's about to turn 19. he doesn't say he's edge anymore -- just says he doesn't drink. he's gonna snap like a twig".
i feel like i'm about to break my edge. the pull, the allure, it's just too strong. unless i find a good reason -- and quick -- staying becomes a deathly negative condition. how hard is it to stay positive in the despair that pales?
this, of course, is superfluous. just keep going.
wonder how long it's going to be before i crack and move home.
i'm reminded of shaun talking about the edge community (i've never been of the persuasion but i have no problems with those who are). he verbally checked off a list of individuals in the community who he felt were close to breaking edge and i felt a strange amusement at the tragedy of a group at once so passionate and so fragile in their membership. he comes last to a person surely on the brink; "he's about to turn 19. he doesn't say he's edge anymore -- just says he doesn't drink. he's gonna snap like a twig".
i feel like i'm about to break my edge. the pull, the allure, it's just too strong. unless i find a good reason -- and quick -- staying becomes a deathly negative condition. how hard is it to stay positive in the despair that pales?
this, of course, is superfluous. just keep going.