olympics! yeah!
Olympics! Friday night we had the best olympics party ever. it was pretty awesome, russian and i made nachos with delicious layered dip plus a broccoli calzone, balto and i made candy from a harry potter candy making set she gave me for my birthday, but kind of failed on a bunch of them because we didn't have a candy thermometer and i guess estimating isn't very reliable. Mimichan brought cupcakes and bottle coke, zarja and reina made smore brownies and serri also came. We found some party lights and russian and i made scorpion bowls with the remainder of our vodka since we didn't have any of the other alcohol required, but it was still delicious. we had four of those watching the opening ceremonies, it was pretty exciting. The best part was the queen jumping out of the helicopter with james bond, also the independent athletes. We hilariously watched say yes to the dress after the ceremonies ended, with balto this was even more funny. russian went to sleep and balto and i discussed superheroes and if there was a comic about superhero olympics who would be doing what events and how they would be different with superpowers. also, fanfic, we need to trade fanfic.
Last weekend we went to visit mimichan at her school and go to six flags. somehow we went on the merri-go-round like 5 times and named our horses and took tons of pictures. somehow that was like the only time i was with russian besides eating in the parking lot. lines were painfully long for everything else but we eventually went on the bizarro roller coaster which was actually pretty cool. I wish you could go at night because everything looks awesome lit up in the dark. Oh yeah we saw the Flash and Green Lantern who were really cool and excitedly took pictures with us in superhero poses. Then we got chinese food and ate and slept in the common room but unfortunately i had dreams of missing class and failing exams and missing assignments all night. But the night before that! we slept over at qu's house, and watched the lady in black and this super cute korean movie about schizophrenics falling in love.
SO other than that, I have become a professional lab rat but not a very good one, I guess, since I've only qualified for one study so far. Hopefully this MRI one works out. The first was investigating the effect of a certain medication on bone density in cystic fibrosis. I got to do a blood draw, nutrition profile (of mostly calcium), and CT scans (i got to wear a paper gown) and this fancy special CT scan of my wrist and leg. It was pretty cool, and they're going to mail me the results of my stuff (hopefully that means the pictures of my bones too.)
The second was about social anxiety, and they did a psychological exam that was like an hour or two long and recorded. But I screened out of the rest of the study because I met the diagnostic criteria for depression (I also met it for social anxiety, but that's pretty obvious.) I sort of knew that was going to happen, but I wasn't sure whether I was going to be truthful when I went in, in the end, I couldn't screw up their data. It was kind of weird, to actually receive an official diagnosis. I've known that I probably had depression since I was in middle school but i've been avoiding acknowledging it since I don't like telling people I'm unhappy. People take offense when you're unhappy, but they don't when you're scared or anxious. That's interesting, I did not think of that until just now, but it's odd. Well so I screened out of that but they had another study I could do involving a blood draw and a questionnaire, so I did that.
The third study was on gum aging but I screened out of that because they had too many people in my age bracket. I'm not sure why they didn't ask my age before I came in. At least the other one paid me for the screening.
Other than that, I've been helping Mormor move her stuff out. she has so much stuff, and she doesn't want to throw anything away.
Is it a vast difference in perspective? People seem to think it isn't disrespectful, or don't care whether they are disrespectful, or want to be disrespectful. I don't bother with mormor, maybe I would if I didn't have social anxiety, maybe I would if she wouldn't give my dad a hard time about it, but I don't think she means to be disrespectful when she blatantly refuses to use my real name. Then I get other shit about pronouns from other people, the way people talk about it is a bit disturbing. It's just that they really must be not considering any perspective but their own (i know this is a general issue with mormor, she's a bit narcissistic,) but that makes me worry about my thinking. I don't want to be unknowingly biased in that way. At least I am aware of it in other people. I think some people aren't even aware of that. That is also disturbing.
The psychologist at the second study thought that the depression would go away when the social anxiety was better, but I'm not so sure, because I think the trans issues are also a large contributor (to both depression and social anxiety.) It is a problem because I have a lot less control over that. I also worry what depression would be like without social anxiety. I also can't imagine what I would even be like without social anxiety since I don't remember ever not having it. But it's apparently easy to cure.
wait did i talk about the first scorpion bowl? I don't think i ever did. Well before, on the same day i was diagnosed with depression by study #2, we went and got scorpion bowl, also, I got my permit. i was feeling kind of weird after the study (it was a long long psychological assessment) so i went to chinatown and did the permit test, which was exceptionally easy, and the person processing my stuff was laughing at me because it was my first time ever getting a permit and i am 21. then scorpion bowl (with russian, reina, and starmie weird combo), the first place wouldn't let us in because they only take drivers' licences or liquor licences. -_- so harvard square, the place there didn't even check ids, so they're obviously way cooler. and we got two bowls since the first was so delicious. It was very exciting.
Last weekend we went to visit mimichan at her school and go to six flags. somehow we went on the merri-go-round like 5 times and named our horses and took tons of pictures. somehow that was like the only time i was with russian besides eating in the parking lot. lines were painfully long for everything else but we eventually went on the bizarro roller coaster which was actually pretty cool. I wish you could go at night because everything looks awesome lit up in the dark. Oh yeah we saw the Flash and Green Lantern who were really cool and excitedly took pictures with us in superhero poses. Then we got chinese food and ate and slept in the common room but unfortunately i had dreams of missing class and failing exams and missing assignments all night. But the night before that! we slept over at qu's house, and watched the lady in black and this super cute korean movie about schizophrenics falling in love.
SO other than that, I have become a professional lab rat but not a very good one, I guess, since I've only qualified for one study so far. Hopefully this MRI one works out. The first was investigating the effect of a certain medication on bone density in cystic fibrosis. I got to do a blood draw, nutrition profile (of mostly calcium), and CT scans (i got to wear a paper gown) and this fancy special CT scan of my wrist and leg. It was pretty cool, and they're going to mail me the results of my stuff (hopefully that means the pictures of my bones too.)
The second was about social anxiety, and they did a psychological exam that was like an hour or two long and recorded. But I screened out of the rest of the study because I met the diagnostic criteria for depression (I also met it for social anxiety, but that's pretty obvious.) I sort of knew that was going to happen, but I wasn't sure whether I was going to be truthful when I went in, in the end, I couldn't screw up their data. It was kind of weird, to actually receive an official diagnosis. I've known that I probably had depression since I was in middle school but i've been avoiding acknowledging it since I don't like telling people I'm unhappy. People take offense when you're unhappy, but they don't when you're scared or anxious. That's interesting, I did not think of that until just now, but it's odd. Well so I screened out of that but they had another study I could do involving a blood draw and a questionnaire, so I did that.
The third study was on gum aging but I screened out of that because they had too many people in my age bracket. I'm not sure why they didn't ask my age before I came in. At least the other one paid me for the screening.
Other than that, I've been helping Mormor move her stuff out. she has so much stuff, and she doesn't want to throw anything away.
Is it a vast difference in perspective? People seem to think it isn't disrespectful, or don't care whether they are disrespectful, or want to be disrespectful. I don't bother with mormor, maybe I would if I didn't have social anxiety, maybe I would if she wouldn't give my dad a hard time about it, but I don't think she means to be disrespectful when she blatantly refuses to use my real name. Then I get other shit about pronouns from other people, the way people talk about it is a bit disturbing. It's just that they really must be not considering any perspective but their own (i know this is a general issue with mormor, she's a bit narcissistic,) but that makes me worry about my thinking. I don't want to be unknowingly biased in that way. At least I am aware of it in other people. I think some people aren't even aware of that. That is also disturbing.
The psychologist at the second study thought that the depression would go away when the social anxiety was better, but I'm not so sure, because I think the trans issues are also a large contributor (to both depression and social anxiety.) It is a problem because I have a lot less control over that. I also worry what depression would be like without social anxiety. I also can't imagine what I would even be like without social anxiety since I don't remember ever not having it. But it's apparently easy to cure.
wait did i talk about the first scorpion bowl? I don't think i ever did. Well before, on the same day i was diagnosed with depression by study #2, we went and got scorpion bowl, also, I got my permit. i was feeling kind of weird after the study (it was a long long psychological assessment) so i went to chinatown and did the permit test, which was exceptionally easy, and the person processing my stuff was laughing at me because it was my first time ever getting a permit and i am 21. then scorpion bowl (with russian, reina, and starmie weird combo), the first place wouldn't let us in because they only take drivers' licences or liquor licences. -_- so harvard square, the place there didn't even check ids, so they're obviously way cooler. and we got two bowls since the first was so delicious. It was very exciting.