Dreams
I keep having dreams where I'm really angry at someone and I'm screaming and swearing at them. I don't know who this is, or why I keep dreaming this. I don't know who I'm angry at.
It kinda feels good though. I rarely get angry when I'm awake.
Actually I'm not even sure if I dreamed this. I remembered it today and I think it was a dream.
OK am I the only one interested in ethnic groups and human genetics without being white power? Every time I look up pictures of people or clothing or culture I come up with stupid white power forums. (That or an OMG ETHNIC look at these people in a third world country!) I don't get how these people think. I have tried to see their viewpoint but I have yet to come up with anything except for what my mom once told me in response to my question which was that they cannot imagine anything beyond themselves. Which really explains pretty much everything about people that I cannot understand. But I feel like I want a more in-depth answer or at least something more ... like something that I can act upon?
But yeah really these people should listen to themselves talk. I was brought to this forum discussion where these people were trying to determine if these girls in a picture were white, eventually deciding that they had to be because they were pretty. Then I was looking up nose shapes and this person was really, seriously worried because his nose was Roman-looking and he was so sure he was totally white.
Well yeah someone is paying Google. This is like when I was looking up something political and all I could get were Republican sites >.> <.< hmmmm
I remember the first time I found a white power site when I was on LJ (LJ also has a lot of these sites >.> <.<) in 8th grade. I was shocked because I never thought that people actually, seriously believed that. It was really weird.
Actually that was kind of like my religion revelation. (Ummmm ... not to compare white power to religion ... I had a strange train of thought here ... ) I always thought that people believed in god like they "believed" in the Easter bunny. Maybe this was just me as a kid, but I always saw Santa, Easter bunny, and the tooth faerie as one of my roleplaying games, except that it was with everyone. But I know it wasn't like that for everyone. But that's how I thought people believed in god, like it was some metaphor or game or something, except for some really crazy people, until ... somewhat recently when I realized that the vast majority, really, really vast majority of people actually, seriously, believe in god. And for some reason, at that moment, I felt really alone. I'm not sure exactly how to explain why. But yeah, the only other person I have met who had this same experience that I know of was Lex. This probably have something to do with how we were raised, which was with having problem solving, creativity, and a love of learning emphasized, no religious training of any sorts (besides "don't tell people that you don't go to church or they might hate you!" and some of what different religions are and their stories), and then told that we can choose any religion we want or no religion at all. It's interesting that both Lex and I ended up believing the same thing without any dialogue about it between us until we were announcing our beliefs to each other after establishing them separately.
OH yeah but on the topic of religion, remember the lake problem? Well I have realized that Miyuki and I were actually talking about the same thing. I was saying, isn't it beautiful that this happened one day? and Miyuki was saying, isn't it beautiful that god created this? But really, since we all came from one point and everything is everything, having the point and a creator of the point is redundant. Therefore, the point is the creator, or, well, a personified view of the point is god.
But rules? Really, that is the work of some sneaky, manipulative people. Not to say that they are all bad rules. But rules are quite an anthropomorphism.
Now this is reminding me of Vasko Popa!
OK you have to watch Baka to Test Shoukanjuu because Hideyoshi placed in the character polls for both male and female in Japan. Plus "Hideyoshi" is the gender written for him and he gets to use a "Hideyoshi" bathroom and changing room. Basically, well, he says he's a guy, but he looks so much like a girl that the other characters are convinced he's a girl. They group him with both the girls and the guys in the show. So we sort of have a genderqueer character?
I totally must cosplay him.
Ohhhh yes and I told Reina that I would post this review of Avatar:
http://sexgeek.wordpress.com/2010/02/03/keeping-an-eye-on-the-mainstream/
Andddddd this list:
http://sexgeek.wordpress.com/2007/06/10/10-realistic-rules-for-good-non-monogamous-relationships/
Really these apply to any relationship, which is why it's cool.
Alsooooo I have discovered Shaman and Shamaani who are amazing joik metal/rock bands that turned into Korpiklaani (also pretty awesome though without the joik, for the most part.) And recently I have been listening to a lot of African music. I wish there was more of Baka water drumming but it seems I would have to go to Africa to hear more.
Actually I wish there was more joik too. Dude I want to buy your CD! Give you money! Where are you?!
It seems I would have travel for this too. Well that might be necessary because I also want to see Apocalyptica and friends in concert and they are all nearby.
But the water drumming :/
I think I should become the next Bartók and travel around the world collecting samples of folk music. But then I wouldn't write music based on them. Well maybe.
I should be majoring in ethnomusicology. Well it's related. But I really just like music a lot.
It kinda feels good though. I rarely get angry when I'm awake.
Actually I'm not even sure if I dreamed this. I remembered it today and I think it was a dream.
OK am I the only one interested in ethnic groups and human genetics without being white power? Every time I look up pictures of people or clothing or culture I come up with stupid white power forums. (That or an OMG ETHNIC look at these people in a third world country!) I don't get how these people think. I have tried to see their viewpoint but I have yet to come up with anything except for what my mom once told me in response to my question which was that they cannot imagine anything beyond themselves. Which really explains pretty much everything about people that I cannot understand. But I feel like I want a more in-depth answer or at least something more ... like something that I can act upon?
But yeah really these people should listen to themselves talk. I was brought to this forum discussion where these people were trying to determine if these girls in a picture were white, eventually deciding that they had to be because they were pretty. Then I was looking up nose shapes and this person was really, seriously worried because his nose was Roman-looking and he was so sure he was totally white.
Well yeah someone is paying Google. This is like when I was looking up something political and all I could get were Republican sites >.> <.< hmmmm
I remember the first time I found a white power site when I was on LJ (LJ also has a lot of these sites >.> <.<) in 8th grade. I was shocked because I never thought that people actually, seriously believed that. It was really weird.
Actually that was kind of like my religion revelation. (Ummmm ... not to compare white power to religion ... I had a strange train of thought here ... ) I always thought that people believed in god like they "believed" in the Easter bunny. Maybe this was just me as a kid, but I always saw Santa, Easter bunny, and the tooth faerie as one of my roleplaying games, except that it was with everyone. But I know it wasn't like that for everyone. But that's how I thought people believed in god, like it was some metaphor or game or something, except for some really crazy people, until ... somewhat recently when I realized that the vast majority, really, really vast majority of people actually, seriously, believe in god. And for some reason, at that moment, I felt really alone. I'm not sure exactly how to explain why. But yeah, the only other person I have met who had this same experience that I know of was Lex. This probably have something to do with how we were raised, which was with having problem solving, creativity, and a love of learning emphasized, no religious training of any sorts (besides "don't tell people that you don't go to church or they might hate you!" and some of what different religions are and their stories), and then told that we can choose any religion we want or no religion at all. It's interesting that both Lex and I ended up believing the same thing without any dialogue about it between us until we were announcing our beliefs to each other after establishing them separately.
OH yeah but on the topic of religion, remember the lake problem? Well I have realized that Miyuki and I were actually talking about the same thing. I was saying, isn't it beautiful that this happened one day? and Miyuki was saying, isn't it beautiful that god created this? But really, since we all came from one point and everything is everything, having the point and a creator of the point is redundant. Therefore, the point is the creator, or, well, a personified view of the point is god.
But rules? Really, that is the work of some sneaky, manipulative people. Not to say that they are all bad rules. But rules are quite an anthropomorphism.
Now this is reminding me of Vasko Popa!
OK you have to watch Baka to Test Shoukanjuu because Hideyoshi placed in the character polls for both male and female in Japan. Plus "Hideyoshi" is the gender written for him and he gets to use a "Hideyoshi" bathroom and changing room. Basically, well, he says he's a guy, but he looks so much like a girl that the other characters are convinced he's a girl. They group him with both the girls and the guys in the show. So we sort of have a genderqueer character?
I totally must cosplay him.
Ohhhh yes and I told Reina that I would post this review of Avatar:
http://sexgeek.wordpress.com/2010/02/03/keeping-an-eye-on-the-mainstream/
Andddddd this list:
http://sexgeek.wordpress.com/2007/06/10/10-realistic-rules-for-good-non-monogamous-relationships/
Really these apply to any relationship, which is why it's cool.
Alsooooo I have discovered Shaman and Shamaani who are amazing joik metal/rock bands that turned into Korpiklaani (also pretty awesome though without the joik, for the most part.) And recently I have been listening to a lot of African music. I wish there was more of Baka water drumming but it seems I would have to go to Africa to hear more.
Actually I wish there was more joik too. Dude I want to buy your CD! Give you money! Where are you?!
It seems I would have travel for this too. Well that might be necessary because I also want to see Apocalyptica and friends in concert and they are all nearby.
But the water drumming :/
I think I should become the next Bartók and travel around the world collecting samples of folk music. But then I wouldn't write music based on them. Well maybe.
I should be majoring in ethnomusicology. Well it's related. But I really just like music a lot.