cannot communicate
I walked across town in the pouring rain to meet Serripennis for pizza. We talked for an hour and a half.
I've been very indecisive, or confused, or bad at thinking, lately. Either that or I have complicated things to think about.
Actually, yes, complicated things.
Hmm but so then Miyuki, Russian, Nyra, and I made lemon cake and had a sleepover. They were explaining morals to me which took a long time. I almost understand. Almost.
It seems that a lot of them come from an outside source that the believer does not question. When it is deeply rooted in the believer's mind, if the believer does question it (which most do not feel the need too, or are afraid to?), it is almost purely emotion and therefore is difficult to change??? -no-
I am afraid of when people do not question authority. Well, sometimes it is okay. If someone tells you to not go over there because something will kill you, it might be better to not go check it out. That makes sense from an evolutionary perspective. Hmm people wonder why humans are so perfect, but we are not. All of these things that kept us alive also kill us.
Sometimes people don't teach hate or prejudice, but their pupils learn that from them anyways. Or people attach emotion to things in strange ways.
So I think I should get a doctorate. I have thought that since I can remember and I'm passionate about that cause. I think it's great when other people get doctoral degrees. But it's not bad if people don't. I don't look down on people who don't. I've never even thought of that. Or even people who don't get masters. Or a degree at all. I don't feel a twinge of negative emotion around them. Yet it's really important for me. For me. Someone else is different. Someone else has their own things to do.
Is this different??????
I'm so confused.
Okay, what I was researching before that I did not completely understand. Something about forming a "world view" and having the threat of death or something. Hmmm. Off to find that. I feel that it relates somehow . . .
Well so then we made some limeade and flat sandwich. At Russian's house we looked for penpals on japan-guide. I want the cute Chinese girl!!! But the site has this weird thing so I can't have her yet.
So far I've got a penpal from Ghana and from Finland.
After japan-guide we went to the FNX free concert which was pretty cool because it was free. Plus the guitar player of the one band bowed his guitar. That band had a violinist and they were my favorite.
On the train home there was this guy with tattoos who knew me from soccer. We ran in to Russian's friends too. It was weird. Plus the tattoo guy had one draw tattoos on him. And it was a super fast train ride.
I want another crêpe night, bonfire, and techno rave.
In two weeks I leave. Saturday I go to fiddle school, the next week is Waring, then the 22nd I go to Canada.
I've been very indecisive, or confused, or bad at thinking, lately. Either that or I have complicated things to think about.
Actually, yes, complicated things.
Hmm but so then Miyuki, Russian, Nyra, and I made lemon cake and had a sleepover. They were explaining morals to me which took a long time. I almost understand. Almost.
It seems that a lot of them come from an outside source that the believer does not question. When it is deeply rooted in the believer's mind, if the believer does question it (which most do not feel the need too, or are afraid to?), it is almost purely emotion and therefore is difficult to change??? -no-
I am afraid of when people do not question authority. Well, sometimes it is okay. If someone tells you to not go over there because something will kill you, it might be better to not go check it out. That makes sense from an evolutionary perspective. Hmm people wonder why humans are so perfect, but we are not. All of these things that kept us alive also kill us.
Sometimes people don't teach hate or prejudice, but their pupils learn that from them anyways. Or people attach emotion to things in strange ways.
So I think I should get a doctorate. I have thought that since I can remember and I'm passionate about that cause. I think it's great when other people get doctoral degrees. But it's not bad if people don't. I don't look down on people who don't. I've never even thought of that. Or even people who don't get masters. Or a degree at all. I don't feel a twinge of negative emotion around them. Yet it's really important for me. For me. Someone else is different. Someone else has their own things to do.
Is this different??????
I'm so confused.
Okay, what I was researching before that I did not completely understand. Something about forming a "world view" and having the threat of death or something. Hmmm. Off to find that. I feel that it relates somehow . . .
Well so then we made some limeade and flat sandwich. At Russian's house we looked for penpals on japan-guide. I want the cute Chinese girl!!! But the site has this weird thing so I can't have her yet.
So far I've got a penpal from Ghana and from Finland.
After japan-guide we went to the FNX free concert which was pretty cool because it was free. Plus the guitar player of the one band bowed his guitar. That band had a violinist and they were my favorite.
On the train home there was this guy with tattoos who knew me from soccer. We ran in to Russian's friends too. It was weird. Plus the tattoo guy had one draw tattoos on him. And it was a super fast train ride.
I want another crêpe night, bonfire, and techno rave.
In two weeks I leave. Saturday I go to fiddle school, the next week is Waring, then the 22nd I go to Canada.