Music
So well the other day Youth was hilarious when we were watching Eli, Matt, Bobby, & etc. playing football in the courtyard. First of all, they're really bad at it (We're musicians! We're bad at sports!) and second, Emily, Melissa, and I read fanfictions! So we were noticing little things and practically falling over laughing.
So now we have all of these: MMOT RoMa KayKi/KeKi EDa and an additional having to do with our musical brothers that has no name yet . . .
I have been sad ever since last Waring because it meant that I only have two left. But today I realized that I only have a year and a half of lessons with Charles left. That's really depressing. I need those lessons each week. I don't know why, I just do. It's sad when I don't have one in a week. Well, initially it's relieving because lessons cause me a lot of anxiety, but when I don't have one it overall causes more anxiety. When I do have one I feel . . . I don't know. Good? I'm not good at describing feelings, but yes. Except that now it's sad every time I have one because it's just one more gone. Like the days and years. Time is sad. Growing up is sad. I wish I was still in middle school. I don't feel like a high school student, nor do I feel like I should ever be a college student or an adult, or an elementary school student.
But there are certain things I need to do each week, like lessons, orchestra, art, therapy, and . . . I don't know. But actually I wonder if I stayed around for college I would probably be able to still have lessons . . . or maybe that would be weird. Or maybe I could get a good teacher somewhere else. (See I have not had any other good teachers.) But yes today at my lesson I had a momentary freak-out because Charles was talking about his teacher in high school then his one in college. That also kinda gave me another freak-out because when he was my age he was playing professionally, and I am extremely far from that. Well, I guess just going to my lessons each week makes me happy for a little while. Maybe because of their contrast and slight similarity to school.
More later. Physics test tomorrow (>_<) .
Everything goes faster and faster. I don't like it to get faster. I don't like winter for that. I don't like days or weeks or months or years. I don't even like minutes or seconds. Why? They make me nervous and depressed. I don't want to think about them because that fills them too. It's sad.
So now we have all of these: MMOT RoMa KayKi/KeKi EDa and an additional having to do with our musical brothers that has no name yet . . .
I have been sad ever since last Waring because it meant that I only have two left. But today I realized that I only have a year and a half of lessons with Charles left. That's really depressing. I need those lessons each week. I don't know why, I just do. It's sad when I don't have one in a week. Well, initially it's relieving because lessons cause me a lot of anxiety, but when I don't have one it overall causes more anxiety. When I do have one I feel . . . I don't know. Good? I'm not good at describing feelings, but yes. Except that now it's sad every time I have one because it's just one more gone. Like the days and years. Time is sad. Growing up is sad. I wish I was still in middle school. I don't feel like a high school student, nor do I feel like I should ever be a college student or an adult, or an elementary school student.
But there are certain things I need to do each week, like lessons, orchestra, art, therapy, and . . . I don't know. But actually I wonder if I stayed around for college I would probably be able to still have lessons . . . or maybe that would be weird. Or maybe I could get a good teacher somewhere else. (See I have not had any other good teachers.) But yes today at my lesson I had a momentary freak-out because Charles was talking about his teacher in high school then his one in college. That also kinda gave me another freak-out because when he was my age he was playing professionally, and I am extremely far from that. Well, I guess just going to my lessons each week makes me happy for a little while. Maybe because of their contrast and slight similarity to school.
More later. Physics test tomorrow (>_<) .
Everything goes faster and faster. I don't like it to get faster. I don't like winter for that. I don't like days or weeks or months or years. I don't even like minutes or seconds. Why? They make me nervous and depressed. I don't want to think about them because that fills them too. It's sad.