last day at the office
Cleaning out my office today. Have mixed feelings about this. Of course, I've been a running joke around here because my last official day of work was over 2 weeks ago, and yet I kept coming in every day. It was the best place for me to study for licensure and have free internet to take the online practice exams. Nevertheless, there has been much joking about whether I'll ever leave.
My supervisor (well, now ex-supervisor and current neighbor) and I have been kinda living at the office this weekend--he had a lot to do and I had a lot of cleaning out to get done, so he's been picking me up the past two mornings and we've come in together to work.
Yeah, mixed feelings. This is not a good workplace, and I'll be making a lot more money at the new job (in addition to having benefits). But I've gotten very tired of all the moving, transitions, and losing connection with people. I'll miss some of my coworkers, and I'm afraid that, despite my best efforts, I'll lose touch with them too. I'm getting better at keeping friendships going through these moves and transitions, but the anxiety is still there. Of course, there is one person in particular I'm going to miss seeing every day...but I don't think I'll ever have the relationship I want with him and I'm starting to come to terms with that. He has really become one of my best friends, and in a remarkably short time. We even do things like cook and go shopping together fairly often, it's all so adorable it makes me feel like I forgot to take my insulin 8)
So I'm feeling really out-to-sea and displaced right now. Plus I haven't recovered from the whole licensure study and exam thing.
Well, I have to finish getting my shit off the work computer. I have next week off, mostly, other than a few things I need to do for my new job. I'm going out of town for Labor Day weekend to see my fabulous friends Ghana-Woman and Madison-Woman, and will be starting the new job right after Labor Day.
So here's to transitions and beginnings and endings and taking the plunge. Deep breath now...you can do it...