as promised, here's the update
as i have told a few people i will be updating my LJ as shit has gone on in my life, so here it is....and will be posted in myspace for any who miss it here....please pardon the redundancy.
anyways, where've i been in life lately? all sorts of places.
i went out to MD the weekend after 4/20 to clear my head and get some shit straightened out....most of you had no clue i was gone...as was how it was meant to be.
had a decent trip, short, but i got to see my friend abby whom i hadn't for about 2-3 years.
keli and i have also broken up. we're still friends, still very good friends...but we both need to work some stuff out between us, and in our own respective lives. still love the lil shit she may be some/most days....but we need our own space for a little bit.
i've also been going through a bit of a melancholy spurt, as well as some seasonal depression...partly relating to keli'n me, but not entirely/mostly. for the most part it's lonliness. i can deal with being alone, but not always with the sinking lonely feeling. i could really use a friend...i don't have many. well, from my definition at least. i really don't see, or talk to anyone. i know and understand some of it is from my work schedule, and other's schedules...but dammit, i need hugs, and persons. if not all at once, over a span of time. like a person a day, lol. still being my optimistic/realist self through the depression, but it still helps to have someone to hug. any takers?
other than that....i'm moving out of state. hopefully before winter, if all goes well. if you want to see me, hang out, or get to know me a lil bit better before i leave, feel free. leave me a message on myspace (nirvanadragon), or e-mail me (maturingdragon@yahoo.com) those really are the only two reliable ways to leave me a message where i am assured to get it. if you try anywhere else, that's your chance you choose to take.
why the move? WI is dying...as far as jobs and industries go. and, i need to go somewhere where i can be me. maybe if not where i can fully, LEGALLY be me...but somewhere a bit more lenient towards the pothead kind. and lastly....change. in part, i feel, that most people here have in some form or another let me slip from their grasp as friend/aquientance/confidant...whatever. some people have claimed things about me/feelings they have for me and have not acted upon what they have said. ...not naming names...but not many people have kept up with what they say. so i feel why hang on to them, or try to continue to be their friend when they don't return the kindness. those of you who have this LJ, and know me....know how i feel towards you. and those of you who are truely my friends know. but i'm leaving the midwest...as i consider any part of the midwest being WI when i want to be leaving WI.
i'm not bitter, i'm not hurt...i'm not sad about my feelings about why i must move...i just understand and accept life in how it goes. and if people who are my friends, really are my friends...no words are needed to explain that they understand, and understand me.
and i don't mean to sound like that either. i'm just trying not to touch on anything, or anyone in specific so as to not hurt, offend or point anyone out to anyone else. there is no 'finger of blame' to point....people are and do as they must....and in my mind, someone who can't keep their word to me, or over many times (more often the case) isn't worth my time or my energy spent in their life.
everything happens for a reason. and this is happening because either i will meet new people who will be more active in my life, or with me in life....or, this will show/tell me who my real friends are from home. either way....i'm moving, and ya'll have been told lol.
this is/and has been a lot to sort of talk about, and i'd really rather have people come to me individually and talk to me about what's going on...because a lot of what's in my head is about how i am emotionally, and a lot of what's on here is about my move, and what may be percieved as 'people bashing' ...but hey, what do i know? could be that this is just normal to someone else....but how do i know?
bah, some days i feel somethings just aren't worth posting....like right now for example, but because i told people this would be coming, it will be posted.
i hope no one minds me while i jump on a mini-bandwagon; but......
Why am I on your Friends List anyhow?
please respond in comment form.....
i'm off to take my lonely ass to bed....how i long for someone to cuddle up with, but for now i shall make due with pillows. i hope all's well with everyone else.
and if i don't talk to anyone before, or after my move....i hope you all truely have a wonderful life.
~me
anyways, where've i been in life lately? all sorts of places.
i went out to MD the weekend after 4/20 to clear my head and get some shit straightened out....most of you had no clue i was gone...as was how it was meant to be.
had a decent trip, short, but i got to see my friend abby whom i hadn't for about 2-3 years.
keli and i have also broken up. we're still friends, still very good friends...but we both need to work some stuff out between us, and in our own respective lives. still love the lil shit she may be some/most days....but we need our own space for a little bit.
i've also been going through a bit of a melancholy spurt, as well as some seasonal depression...partly relating to keli'n me, but not entirely/mostly. for the most part it's lonliness. i can deal with being alone, but not always with the sinking lonely feeling. i could really use a friend...i don't have many. well, from my definition at least. i really don't see, or talk to anyone. i know and understand some of it is from my work schedule, and other's schedules...but dammit, i need hugs, and persons. if not all at once, over a span of time. like a person a day, lol. still being my optimistic/realist self through the depression, but it still helps to have someone to hug. any takers?
other than that....i'm moving out of state. hopefully before winter, if all goes well. if you want to see me, hang out, or get to know me a lil bit better before i leave, feel free. leave me a message on myspace (nirvanadragon), or e-mail me (maturingdragon@yahoo.com) those really are the only two reliable ways to leave me a message where i am assured to get it. if you try anywhere else, that's your chance you choose to take.
why the move? WI is dying...as far as jobs and industries go. and, i need to go somewhere where i can be me. maybe if not where i can fully, LEGALLY be me...but somewhere a bit more lenient towards the pothead kind. and lastly....change. in part, i feel, that most people here have in some form or another let me slip from their grasp as friend/aquientance/confidant...whatever. some people have claimed things about me/feelings they have for me and have not acted upon what they have said. ...not naming names...but not many people have kept up with what they say. so i feel why hang on to them, or try to continue to be their friend when they don't return the kindness. those of you who have this LJ, and know me....know how i feel towards you. and those of you who are truely my friends know. but i'm leaving the midwest...as i consider any part of the midwest being WI when i want to be leaving WI.
i'm not bitter, i'm not hurt...i'm not sad about my feelings about why i must move...i just understand and accept life in how it goes. and if people who are my friends, really are my friends...no words are needed to explain that they understand, and understand me.
and i don't mean to sound like that either. i'm just trying not to touch on anything, or anyone in specific so as to not hurt, offend or point anyone out to anyone else. there is no 'finger of blame' to point....people are and do as they must....and in my mind, someone who can't keep their word to me, or over many times (more often the case) isn't worth my time or my energy spent in their life.
everything happens for a reason. and this is happening because either i will meet new people who will be more active in my life, or with me in life....or, this will show/tell me who my real friends are from home. either way....i'm moving, and ya'll have been told lol.
this is/and has been a lot to sort of talk about, and i'd really rather have people come to me individually and talk to me about what's going on...because a lot of what's in my head is about how i am emotionally, and a lot of what's on here is about my move, and what may be percieved as 'people bashing' ...but hey, what do i know? could be that this is just normal to someone else....but how do i know?
bah, some days i feel somethings just aren't worth posting....like right now for example, but because i told people this would be coming, it will be posted.
i hope no one minds me while i jump on a mini-bandwagon; but......
Why am I on your Friends List anyhow?
please respond in comment form.....
i'm off to take my lonely ass to bed....how i long for someone to cuddle up with, but for now i shall make due with pillows. i hope all's well with everyone else.
and if i don't talk to anyone before, or after my move....i hope you all truely have a wonderful life.
~me