ZOMG
Alrightie then, internet for a limited amount of time. Mum's being really difficult about obtaining it, so I'm stuck at the library typing all my stuff.
I applied for three jobs at Maersk on Friday, they promised to get back to me 'at the beginning of next week' aka anywhere before today. I'm feeling slightly disappointed. Again. Yes I have the job offer at Rosseels and yes, I would love working for the man, but I already know that if I move to Louvain, the JAP is lost for good. Don't ask me how I know -I could give you several un-logical answers with sixth sensie stuff and gut feelings-, I just do.
Antwerp was to be the base for my JAP, find a nice international company and work my ass off for them, while studying Japanese and maybe even getting paid to make the move. My last hope is Scania Benelux, which is in Breda, Holland. Not sure how I feel about that.
Fact is, everything is pretty crap right now. No work, no entertainment, no internet. What I do have, is weight issues, self esteem issues and a deep sense of loneliness.
On a weirder note, I have a question. You'll just have to work with me here. Our family is neck-deep into sixth sensie stuff, our friends have premonitions, dreams, chakras, crystals, the whole bunch. My mum's one of those people who's never wrong and usually, she bases her opinions on 'gut feelings'. If this is bullshit to you, stop reading right here.
Anyway, I have a friend who is basically a HSP (highly sensitive person), who senses things and who makes predictions based on how the world is today. His predictions are mostly true, but he stresses that he can't always be right, because 'the future is fluid'. He has always told me I have 'a lot of angels floating around me', meaning, I'm destined to have kids. Three, no less.
He told me about the first child that it will be a girl -which I already sensed myself, but that's for you to believe or not- and that I would have her with a man who will run away because he doesn't want kids, making me a single mum. My age would be somewhere between thirty and thirty-five. To me, this is very scary knowledge and I've been making some plans to avert this future. (considering it's fluid and all that)
I'm at a point where I've accepted that I'll be a mum someday. With three "angels" hanging around, it's inevitable, even for me. Sterilisation isn't an option, since my mum would kill me and indeed, "you never know".
BUT. What if I'd find a nice guy right now, who I know adores kids and wouldn't dump me if the inevitable happened? I know the perfect guy, and I could probably fall for him if I wanted to. But is this too rational or not?
Now, this question is asked going from the assumption my friend -who has yet to be wrong- is right and I will have this child in the next couple of years. Opinions are very very welcome.
Anyway, other than the above, my life feels pretty empty right now. The jobs that I get offered just aren't what I want to do and the job I do want to do, seems to be just the wrong job to achieve the globetrotter goal. It's a choice between home life and career. And I want both. *grmpf*
Oh and I'm thinking of getting into professional fitness. I'm tired of being fat and I'm tired of my mum addressing me as such. Like I don't feel bad enough about it, without her constantly reminding me.
And then people wonder why I actually get tempted by ads for weight loss pills. Stupid society and stupid stupid mum. I love her, but this is just too much. I know I'm a freaking fatso, I don't need her to remind me every single day.
I applied for three jobs at Maersk on Friday, they promised to get back to me 'at the beginning of next week' aka anywhere before today. I'm feeling slightly disappointed. Again. Yes I have the job offer at Rosseels and yes, I would love working for the man, but I already know that if I move to Louvain, the JAP is lost for good. Don't ask me how I know -I could give you several un-logical answers with sixth sensie stuff and gut feelings-, I just do.
Antwerp was to be the base for my JAP, find a nice international company and work my ass off for them, while studying Japanese and maybe even getting paid to make the move. My last hope is Scania Benelux, which is in Breda, Holland. Not sure how I feel about that.
Fact is, everything is pretty crap right now. No work, no entertainment, no internet. What I do have, is weight issues, self esteem issues and a deep sense of loneliness.
On a weirder note, I have a question. You'll just have to work with me here. Our family is neck-deep into sixth sensie stuff, our friends have premonitions, dreams, chakras, crystals, the whole bunch. My mum's one of those people who's never wrong and usually, she bases her opinions on 'gut feelings'. If this is bullshit to you, stop reading right here.
Anyway, I have a friend who is basically a HSP (highly sensitive person), who senses things and who makes predictions based on how the world is today. His predictions are mostly true, but he stresses that he can't always be right, because 'the future is fluid'. He has always told me I have 'a lot of angels floating around me', meaning, I'm destined to have kids. Three, no less.
He told me about the first child that it will be a girl -which I already sensed myself, but that's for you to believe or not- and that I would have her with a man who will run away because he doesn't want kids, making me a single mum. My age would be somewhere between thirty and thirty-five. To me, this is very scary knowledge and I've been making some plans to avert this future. (considering it's fluid and all that)
I'm at a point where I've accepted that I'll be a mum someday. With three "angels" hanging around, it's inevitable, even for me. Sterilisation isn't an option, since my mum would kill me and indeed, "you never know".
BUT. What if I'd find a nice guy right now, who I know adores kids and wouldn't dump me if the inevitable happened? I know the perfect guy, and I could probably fall for him if I wanted to. But is this too rational or not?
Now, this question is asked going from the assumption my friend -who has yet to be wrong- is right and I will have this child in the next couple of years. Opinions are very very welcome.
Anyway, other than the above, my life feels pretty empty right now. The jobs that I get offered just aren't what I want to do and the job I do want to do, seems to be just the wrong job to achieve the globetrotter goal. It's a choice between home life and career. And I want both. *grmpf*
Oh and I'm thinking of getting into professional fitness. I'm tired of being fat and I'm tired of my mum addressing me as such. Like I don't feel bad enough about it, without her constantly reminding me.
And then people wonder why I actually get tempted by ads for weight loss pills. Stupid society and stupid stupid mum. I love her, but this is just too much. I know I'm a freaking fatso, I don't need her to remind me every single day.