Doom. DOOOOM.
I get home from school, right, and walk upstairs. My mother and my sister are huddled in front of the computer screen in my room, talking urgently.
Of course, my first thought is, "Porn?" So I pop my head in the door and ask them where the porn is. No porn, much to my dismay, just a long text document from what I can see. My sister interrupts the I want to see the porn too/I just told you there is no porn conversation I'm having with my mother with the abrupt question, "What do you think of bright lights?"
Bright lights? I ask. WTF? I'm thinking something along the lines of a song or maybe a book. You know, like "City of Blinding Lights" by U2 or "Lights" by Journey, or something. What she was really trying to ask was was I light sensitive.
[Uh... why?? O_o]
Because Dad is convinced you have meningitis! He was ranting around the house about it this morning! Apparently, there is also some question of whether or not Quinn gave it to you, because it can be transferred by KISSING OMG and he lived in a dirty apartment for a while!!!
[WHAT?!?!]
You have all the symptoms! she said as she held out a printout with stick figures in various poses denoting nausea, light sensitivity, headache, stiff neck, etcetera. Then Mom chimed in.
The only way to know for sure is a spinal tap.
[*slightly more hysterical now* WHAT...?!?!?!?]
If it's viral there's no hope. If it's bacterial, we'll call the dentist and have him put you on antibiotics for two weeks.
[Gah.]
Of course, during all of this, Dad calls. When told that I had a headache, he said something along the lines of, "Well, duh, it's hot and humid out. Put on the air conditioning."
Then Mom came back into the room and saw the three Brides' magazines I'd been using as a booster seat the past couple of nights to do my homework. She totally flipped, and convinced herself in three seconds that I was going to marry Quinn in the near future. Told her to chill and take a look at the dates- 2002, 2003. You know, back when I was obsessed with making my own tiaras and marketing them?
In the space of twenty minutes, things have gone from confusing to hysterical to ridiculous and back to normal again. Yes, I have a headache, yes, I have a stiff neck. But the headache is probably sinus and the stiff neck is probably from my backpack. Yes, I have a rash still, and yes, I'm light sensitive; however, I think I've pinpointed my allergy re: rash and testing light sensitivity by turning on a bare 100 watt lightbulb and looking right at it is never a good thing.
At least they've stopped implying that I'll be dead in two months. Now all I have to do is get Kelsey to stop shouting about how she's going to get drunk and wail at my funeral.
I don't want a spinal tap.
*whimper*
Of course, my first thought is, "Porn?" So I pop my head in the door and ask them where the porn is. No porn, much to my dismay, just a long text document from what I can see. My sister interrupts the I want to see the porn too/I just told you there is no porn conversation I'm having with my mother with the abrupt question, "What do you think of bright lights?"
Bright lights? I ask. WTF? I'm thinking something along the lines of a song or maybe a book. You know, like "City of Blinding Lights" by U2 or "Lights" by Journey, or something. What she was really trying to ask was was I light sensitive.
[Uh... why?? O_o]
Because Dad is convinced you have meningitis! He was ranting around the house about it this morning! Apparently, there is also some question of whether or not Quinn gave it to you, because it can be transferred by KISSING OMG and he lived in a dirty apartment for a while!!!
[WHAT?!?!]
You have all the symptoms! she said as she held out a printout with stick figures in various poses denoting nausea, light sensitivity, headache, stiff neck, etcetera. Then Mom chimed in.
The only way to know for sure is a spinal tap.
[*slightly more hysterical now* WHAT...?!?!?!?]
If it's viral there's no hope. If it's bacterial, we'll call the dentist and have him put you on antibiotics for two weeks.
[Gah.]
Of course, during all of this, Dad calls. When told that I had a headache, he said something along the lines of, "Well, duh, it's hot and humid out. Put on the air conditioning."
Then Mom came back into the room and saw the three Brides' magazines I'd been using as a booster seat the past couple of nights to do my homework. She totally flipped, and convinced herself in three seconds that I was going to marry Quinn in the near future. Told her to chill and take a look at the dates- 2002, 2003. You know, back when I was obsessed with making my own tiaras and marketing them?
In the space of twenty minutes, things have gone from confusing to hysterical to ridiculous and back to normal again. Yes, I have a headache, yes, I have a stiff neck. But the headache is probably sinus and the stiff neck is probably from my backpack. Yes, I have a rash still, and yes, I'm light sensitive; however, I think I've pinpointed my allergy re: rash and testing light sensitivity by turning on a bare 100 watt lightbulb and looking right at it is never a good thing.
At least they've stopped implying that I'll be dead in two months. Now all I have to do is get Kelsey to stop shouting about how she's going to get drunk and wail at my funeral.
I don't want a spinal tap.
*whimper*