So close, goddammit.

May 13, 2005 18:01

Mom and I got our checks from the church today. I was kind of worried about depositing mine, since I'm about fifty dollars overdrawn. But Mom said that she was going to put hers in Dad's account, so I just cashed mine, and I was all yay! for a little while. Until I got home, when she told me that Dad said that I have to put her check in my account. So now, I'm all, dammit. Fifty dollars gone in one swell foop.

I hate money. A lot.

I managed to work myself into a horrific kind of mood again. I went from talking to Quinn about apartment stuff to walking to the bank. On the way to the bank I pretty much decided that I should stick to my original plans at all costs and not change any of them. This, of course, made me miserable. The walk back wasn't any better.

I'm still feeling kind of out-of-sorts about everything. I don't know if I'm overwhelmed, or stressed, or having a bad reaction to life changes, or what. I talked about it with Jason the other day, and it helped, but only for a while. I just can't shake this feeling that everything is going to blow the hell up right in my face.

Whatever. I figure I'll give this next year a shot, and whatever happens, happens. Hey, at least I've got a fallback plan or two, right?

Maybe I've gone batshit crazy insane and am only just now realizing it...

deep thoughts, money

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