(no subject)
it's like my brain is on hyper drive! i have been dancing around, pretending that everyone still loves me. actually, not a whole lot of people still care i exist. i've finally driven patrick off and at first i felt relieved but now i don't know. i really wish we could still be friends. but i have no idea if it would work. we've been together and i would bee too hard to see him without wanting him back. Mike is comming to visit on the 15th and part of me wants it to get fucked up so i can go back to patrick without feeling guilty. however, i don't know if patrick would take me back. i'm pretty sure he would because he still loves me but what if, just this one time he stayed mad at me and decided not to have me back. most of me wants what is really happening. i want to see where mike and my future goes. i don't know. i wish... i don't know.
gott go.
gott go.