Trapped within...

[ninthphoenix]

Right about now is when I start hating winter. I guess the meds aren't enough at this point and I've got to drag out the light box. I can't concentrate. I have work to do at work, but I can't even get started. Everything seems like a monumental task. I'm terribly tired all the time and go to bed very early, even when I've planned/promised to do things with others. I had free tickets to Cabaret. Didn't go. Needed to see a show at UNM for class this weekend. Didn't go. Didn't work on my corset. I'm behind the rest of the class, which means that they've run out of boning tape and I'll have to use 1/4" boning, and I'm not a small girl, people. That's not enough support. I barely worked on Riley's costume, despite all my enthusiasm for it. Missed out on good filmage because I haven't kept up with LJ. Would I have gone out and seen things I've wanted to see? Doubtful. I'm surprised I ate food this weekend. It's like my brain is up there in the middle of a fogbank and even when a signal makes it through, my body has just disconnected.

I am giving serious thought to quitting the second job after the holidays, but at other times, it seems I can't afford to. The problem is that I just can't tell if it would help or not. I think it would, mentally. Never having a day off is taxing, no matter how much I sleep. Yah. I think I need to do that. I'm getting pretty worthless at my primary job and disorganized to the point of frustration in the rest of my life. I've never been as unreliable as I am right now. Apologies to anyone who's suffered from that, particularly asherzaaph.

Oh, and _beren_, I finished the two you gave me, will bring them to class on Tues.