Bath Room- Chapter 2
Title: Bath Room
Author:RuriNoAme
Band(s): Sadly, the Gazette
Pairing(s): Doesn't say, but there's definitely a mary-sue in here. Try five of them. Guess you can see where this is already going.
Rating: On a scale from 1-10, i'd give it a 6.5.
I Say/Notes: This whole entire story is mainly centerer around the mary-sue in question, and the whole -the-band-gets-lost-somewhere-and-they-ask-for-directions-at-yadda yadda yadda- plot. The grammar is okay, but the plot is just....yeah. sporkable. The whole story is ridiculous. Chapter 1 is here.
Chapter 2
Megumi had replaced her cell-phone in the belt of her skirt and left her sitting place at the end of Ai's cash-register. Being a little peckish and bored, she went to the snacks aisle just in front of her; she jogged half way down the aisle to grab a chocolate bar from the shelf. Megumi then ran back the way she came and back to Ai's register; at the same time fishing out some change to pay for the bar. She double checked her change before setting the coins down beside Ai’s arm. She stopped reading her magazine long enough to quickly open the register and divide the coins into the right slots. She then swung back around on her seat to keep reading.
Reita: Did that paragraph even say anything?
Ruki: Text of death.
Uruha: We know.
Aoi: She could of just said she went to the back of the store to get candy and paid for it, instead of making it sound like a complicated math problem. It's not that serious.
Kai: Since when is chocolate considered candy?
Reita: If it has a high concentrated solution of sugar and water, then it is.
Ruki: Chocolate is what makes the world go round.
Reita: I thought music did.
Ruki: Of course that too! *sings* HELLO MY DEAR. KILL MEEEE GENTLY. A BURNED BODY DOESN'T-
Aoi: Oh boy. You got him started.
Uruha: Hey Aoi! Evaluate this! log5125.
Aoi....
Ruki: *Still singing*
Kai: This is weird.
Reita: You're telling me. I have to put up with this for x amount of chapters. Damn it! Math. Why the hell did he have to mention it?
Aoi: ...5 is the exponent...need to...125. Oh I got it!
Uruha: You actually figured out? I was only-
Aoi: It's 3!
Uruha:....damn. he's right.
Reita: Nerd.
Aoi: I didn't see you trying to solve it.
Kai: Moving on guys!
OMG LOL THEY TALK ABOUT THE CURE MAGAZINE FOR ABOUT 5 PARAGRAPHS.
**A NEW FACE ENTERS THE SCENE(SERIOUSLY HOW MANY OF THEM ARE THERE?)**
Kira had shoulder length brown hair with multi-shades of frosted blonde highlights in it. The end of the layers curled upward. Eye-contacts made her dark hazel eyes, a slight shade lighter than normal. She was wearing a very fashionable outfit - a tight black knee-length skirt, a black vest that shows a small part of her stomach and her belly button ring. She also had numerous chains around her neck and bangles around her wrists. She also had 'leg-warmers', like what Uruha was famous for wearing, but in black. She had black heels on too.
Reita: Death Note called. They want their main character's name back.
Uruha: I wear leg warmers?
Ruki: You don't?
Kai: She's just throwing people in here left and right! I lost track a chapter ago.
Ruki: She's fat.
Kai: Where does it say that? She could be skinny!
Ruki: But it doesn't say if she's fat or not. So I'm assuming she is. And let me tell you. it paints a disturbing image in my mind. *Shudders*
Uruha: and with the...belly button ring?
Reita: Yeah. Colorful paint.
"Welcome back, Ki!" Megumi said heartily, pushing Kira's shoulder softly, "Did you have fun today?"
"I see you had a photo shoot today?" Ai asked, after composing herself from almost punching Kira's lights out, "How was it? Hope they didn't work you too hard".
Reita: Wouldn't it be amusing if she really did punch her?
Aoi: Catfight!
Reita: *As Ai* Punches Kira
Aoi: *As Kira* Punches her back
Reita: *As Ai* Still punchng.
Aoi: *As Kira* Still punching back.
Reita: *As Ai* Gives up
Aoi: *As Kira still* Pwned, bitch!
Uruha: Intermission.
"Yes, another shoot. It sucked too. It's always the same thing," Kira said unenthusiastically, slouching against the exit-side of the register, "But I can't complain, its good money and they’re nice.
"Oh...That sucks. I work here if you haven't noticed." Ai retaliated jokingly as she turned back to her magazine.
"I do too but it's my day off! You’re just jealous. It's close to your clock-off time anyway," Kira blurted, sticking her tongue out, "So soon we can go party at the Gazette gig. 'One Night Stand' ... such a suggestive gig title, but I love it!"
Aoi: So she's jealous because it's her day off and...clock time....what?
Everyone else: *Is clueless*
Kira made an exaggerated shuttering expression, like someone had run their finger up her back. Megumi and Ai laughed at her.
All: *Laugh their asses off too*
Kai: How do you make a shuttering expression?
Ruki: Shutter: A usual movable cover or screen for window or door.
All:...
Uruha: So...She made an expression to a cover or a screen?
Reita: For a window and/or door.
Aoi: HAVEN'T YOU EVER HEARD OF CLOSING THE GOD DAMNED DOOR!?!
Ruki: NO AND THESE-*forgot the rest of the song* I've got nothin.
You could say they all had their little crushes on one of theguys.
*OKEI SO THEY LOVE THEM. AS DO EVERY ONE OF THEIR FANS. MOVING ON*
Reita: Let me take this time to point out that these narrations are a portrayal of the author, who in question, has not even given this thing a plot, in which her readers are trying to figure out.
Uruha: A lot of people have crushes on us.
Kai: I'm flattered though.
Uruha: But in this story I'm definitely not. Totally unrealistic.
Aoi: Hey, I wondered what happened to me and the 'low profile thing.' Did I just disappear from the story? I surely hope so.
Aoi
Aoi: Damn.
pushed his hands into the pockets of his jacket just as he walked through the automatic sliding doors of the store. He stopped just inside the door and looked around, never removing his sun-glasses.
Ruki: Smooth get up you got there. keep it up.
Aoi: You're supposed to be covering me dammit!
There was hardly any people around and only three girls sitting around at one register just a few feet from where he stood. Perfect.
Kai: You know, they way they're describing you, they're making you sound like some kind of pervert.
Aoi: *Stares at him incredulously*
Uruha: Yeah. Like some weird stalker who prey on young girls and stuff.
Aoi: From this point on, I'm going to ignore your assumptions for they are in no shape or form, true.
Uruha: And you coul-
Aoi: *puts hands over his ears* SORRY CAN'T HEAR YOU. *Sings* HELLO MY DEAR KILL ME GENTLY A BURNED BODY DOESN'T-
Ruki: Your english is...
Uruha: He can't hear you.
Ruki: I know. ^^
pushed his hands into the pockets of his jacket just as he walked through the automatic sliding doors of the store. He stopped just inside the door and looked around, never removing his sun-glasses. There was hardly any people around and only three girls sitting around at one register just a few feet from where he stood. Perfect
Kai: !!! *Points* Seee There it is again!
Ruki: ...wow.
Uruha: Now you sound like a murderer trying to plot a scheme.
Reita: He still can't hear you.
Uruha: *Sighs* I know.
"Ahem ... err sumimasen, but could you please tell me how I can get to the Yoshiatsu Dome?" Aoi asked, approaching the girl, "I'm kind of in a hurry and was meant to be there half hour ago ..."
Kai: Try hours ago. What kind of get up is this? Are you sure this is Japan?
Uruha: No, but that's what it says.
Kai: Well I agree with you. How the hell can we get lost IN OUR OWN HOMELAND?
Ruki: Yeah. The driver's supposed to know the directions, if not, our manager, who is supposed to be there but isn't.
Reita: Or you can just use Mapquest on Kai's laptop.
Ruki: I thought Aoi was the one with the laptop.
Uruha: His singing is getting annoying by the way.
Aoi made a slight bow after speaking, as a king of apology to them for interrupting. He then made a quick glance back to the van to check that the car hadn't been swamped by people yet. To his relief it was silent outside and could just see Ruki peering through one of the slightly open car windows. He then turned back to the girl and smiled.
Aoi: *Suddenly stops singing* I don't believe in kings.
Uruha: So you finally decided to stop?
Aoi. What.
Kai: There it is again.
Aoi: *Ignores him but fails*
Back inside the van, Ruki, as previously mentioned, was watching Aoi like a hawk through his large sun-glasses. Reita had got bored with bass practice and was also watching. Uruha had his elbow on the arm of his seat and resting his chin in that hand while also watching Aoi. However Kai was too busy still listening to his music scores and changing things here and there on his lap-top. Reita laughed to himself.
Ruki: It's a fake! I repeat! It's a fake! Get you ass back to ur base before they find out your true identity!
Reita: I got bored with my bass? I never get bored with my bass.
Kai: Everyone's watching you Aoi.
Uruha: I don't know why. You're not that amusing to look at anyway.
Aoi: Shut up! You'll blow my cover.
Ruki: What cover? You'll most likely blow your own damn cover. You're acting too suspicious!
Reita: That..sounded kind of wrong.
Aoi: Just like your face.
Uruha: Nice.
Aoi: Shush!
"Well so far so good, he's actually approached someone", Reita commented, now taking the ear-phones from around his neck and rolling them around his iPod, "But I agree with Ruki, it would have been quicker to just call the venue".
All: ...
Kai: WHY DIDN'T THEY DO THAT IN THE FIRST DAMN PLACE!?
Uruha: You know, I'm concerned about the intelligence of the human race.
Reita: and the author.
Ruki: Red paint and red circles. Red paint and red circles...
"You could say it's our own fault for not properly know where it is anyway", Ruki said, slipping his pen into the spiral binding of his note-pad, "It's a newly built venue last month, supposed to be half the size of Budoukan".
Kai: Yes, it is your damn faul-
Aoi: Wait, so we went to a venue without knowing where it is? We don't even know it exists! This is a major point deduction. Kai?
Reita; Boy, where have you been?
Kai: Wow. -1000 points, and we're only in the second chapter.
Uruha: We know it doesn't exist, because the author made it up.
Ruki: We know that now.
Aoi: I'm betting...500 yen that the story will reach -00.
Reita: What's that?
Aoi: Negative infinity.
Uruha: Is that even possible?
Aoi: To me it is.
Uruha: Again, where has the logic gone?
"Yoshiatsu Dome is like a sister live-house to Budoukan. Perfect for our gig tonight seeing it's only a small fan-club live", Kai said, packing up his lap-top and also slipping it into his shoulder bag, "Just a single level venue, much the size of the floor at Budoukan".
"Wow that’s still fairly big. Just without the balconies. I can't wait to see it", Uruha said, dropping his arm and glancing back at Kai, "But it's a bit far-fetched having to go straight into doing a gig at a venue we haven't even practiced in yet".
Uruha: No it's not! Because if this were realistic, we would have done all of the setup and practicing at the damn place before the fans showed up. What kind of example would we be setting if we came to our venues late?
Aoi: Not a very god one that's for sure. I'm hating this story.
Ruki: Good, because the chapter's over.
Uruha: but not the story itself.
All *Groan*
Author:RuriNoAme
Band(s): Sadly, the Gazette
Pairing(s): Doesn't say, but there's definitely a mary-sue in here. Try five of them. Guess you can see where this is already going.
Rating: On a scale from 1-10, i'd give it a 6.5.
I Say/Notes: This whole entire story is mainly centerer around the mary-sue in question, and the whole -the-band-gets-lost-somewhere-and-they-ask-for-directions-at-yadda yadda yadda- plot. The grammar is okay, but the plot is just....yeah. sporkable. The whole story is ridiculous. Chapter 1 is here.
Chapter 2
Megumi had replaced her cell-phone in the belt of her skirt and left her sitting place at the end of Ai's cash-register. Being a little peckish and bored, she went to the snacks aisle just in front of her; she jogged half way down the aisle to grab a chocolate bar from the shelf. Megumi then ran back the way she came and back to Ai's register; at the same time fishing out some change to pay for the bar. She double checked her change before setting the coins down beside Ai’s arm. She stopped reading her magazine long enough to quickly open the register and divide the coins into the right slots. She then swung back around on her seat to keep reading.
Reita: Did that paragraph even say anything?
Ruki: Text of death.
Uruha: We know.
Aoi: She could of just said she went to the back of the store to get candy and paid for it, instead of making it sound like a complicated math problem. It's not that serious.
Kai: Since when is chocolate considered candy?
Reita: If it has a high concentrated solution of sugar and water, then it is.
Ruki: Chocolate is what makes the world go round.
Reita: I thought music did.
Ruki: Of course that too! *sings* HELLO MY DEAR. KILL MEEEE GENTLY. A BURNED BODY DOESN'T-
Aoi: Oh boy. You got him started.
Uruha: Hey Aoi! Evaluate this! log5125.
Aoi....
Ruki: *Still singing*
Kai: This is weird.
Reita: You're telling me. I have to put up with this for x amount of chapters. Damn it! Math. Why the hell did he have to mention it?
Aoi: ...5 is the exponent...need to...125. Oh I got it!
Uruha: You actually figured out? I was only-
Aoi: It's 3!
Uruha:....damn. he's right.
Reita: Nerd.
Aoi: I didn't see you trying to solve it.
Kai: Moving on guys!
OMG LOL THEY TALK ABOUT THE CURE MAGAZINE FOR ABOUT 5 PARAGRAPHS.
**A NEW FACE ENTERS THE SCENE(SERIOUSLY HOW MANY OF THEM ARE THERE?)**
Kira had shoulder length brown hair with multi-shades of frosted blonde highlights in it. The end of the layers curled upward. Eye-contacts made her dark hazel eyes, a slight shade lighter than normal. She was wearing a very fashionable outfit - a tight black knee-length skirt, a black vest that shows a small part of her stomach and her belly button ring. She also had numerous chains around her neck and bangles around her wrists. She also had 'leg-warmers', like what Uruha was famous for wearing, but in black. She had black heels on too.
Reita: Death Note called. They want their main character's name back.
Uruha: I wear leg warmers?
Ruki: You don't?
Kai: She's just throwing people in here left and right! I lost track a chapter ago.
Ruki: She's fat.
Kai: Where does it say that? She could be skinny!
Ruki: But it doesn't say if she's fat or not. So I'm assuming she is. And let me tell you. it paints a disturbing image in my mind. *Shudders*
Uruha: and with the...belly button ring?
Reita: Yeah. Colorful paint.
"Welcome back, Ki!" Megumi said heartily, pushing Kira's shoulder softly, "Did you have fun today?"
"I see you had a photo shoot today?" Ai asked, after composing herself from almost punching Kira's lights out, "How was it? Hope they didn't work you too hard".
Reita: Wouldn't it be amusing if she really did punch her?
Aoi: Catfight!
Reita: *As Ai* Punches Kira
Aoi: *As Kira* Punches her back
Reita: *As Ai* Still punchng.
Aoi: *As Kira* Still punching back.
Reita: *As Ai* Gives up
Aoi: *As Kira still* Pwned, bitch!
Uruha: Intermission.
"Yes, another shoot. It sucked too. It's always the same thing," Kira said unenthusiastically, slouching against the exit-side of the register, "But I can't complain, its good money and they’re nice.
"Oh...That sucks. I work here if you haven't noticed." Ai retaliated jokingly as she turned back to her magazine.
"I do too but it's my day off! You’re just jealous. It's close to your clock-off time anyway," Kira blurted, sticking her tongue out, "So soon we can go party at the Gazette gig. 'One Night Stand' ... such a suggestive gig title, but I love it!"
Aoi: So she's jealous because it's her day off and...clock time....what?
Everyone else: *Is clueless*
Kira made an exaggerated shuttering expression, like someone had run their finger up her back. Megumi and Ai laughed at her.
All: *Laugh their asses off too*
Kai: How do you make a shuttering expression?
Ruki: Shutter: A usual movable cover or screen for window or door.
All:...
Uruha: So...She made an expression to a cover or a screen?
Reita: For a window and/or door.
Aoi: HAVEN'T YOU EVER HEARD OF CLOSING THE GOD DAMNED DOOR!?!
Ruki: NO AND THESE-*forgot the rest of the song* I've got nothin.
You could say they all had their little crushes on one of theguys.
*OKEI SO THEY LOVE THEM. AS DO EVERY ONE OF THEIR FANS. MOVING ON*
Reita: Let me take this time to point out that these narrations are a portrayal of the author, who in question, has not even given this thing a plot, in which her readers are trying to figure out.
Uruha: A lot of people have crushes on us.
Kai: I'm flattered though.
Uruha: But in this story I'm definitely not. Totally unrealistic.
Aoi: Hey, I wondered what happened to me and the 'low profile thing.' Did I just disappear from the story? I surely hope so.
Aoi
Aoi: Damn.
pushed his hands into the pockets of his jacket just as he walked through the automatic sliding doors of the store. He stopped just inside the door and looked around, never removing his sun-glasses.
Ruki: Smooth get up you got there. keep it up.
Aoi: You're supposed to be covering me dammit!
There was hardly any people around and only three girls sitting around at one register just a few feet from where he stood. Perfect.
Kai: You know, they way they're describing you, they're making you sound like some kind of pervert.
Aoi: *Stares at him incredulously*
Uruha: Yeah. Like some weird stalker who prey on young girls and stuff.
Aoi: From this point on, I'm going to ignore your assumptions for they are in no shape or form, true.
Uruha: And you coul-
Aoi: *puts hands over his ears* SORRY CAN'T HEAR YOU. *Sings* HELLO MY DEAR KILL ME GENTLY A BURNED BODY DOESN'T-
Ruki: Your english is...
Uruha: He can't hear you.
Ruki: I know. ^^
pushed his hands into the pockets of his jacket just as he walked through the automatic sliding doors of the store. He stopped just inside the door and looked around, never removing his sun-glasses. There was hardly any people around and only three girls sitting around at one register just a few feet from where he stood. Perfect
Kai: !!! *Points* Seee There it is again!
Ruki: ...wow.
Uruha: Now you sound like a murderer trying to plot a scheme.
Reita: He still can't hear you.
Uruha: *Sighs* I know.
"Ahem ... err sumimasen, but could you please tell me how I can get to the Yoshiatsu Dome?" Aoi asked, approaching the girl, "I'm kind of in a hurry and was meant to be there half hour ago ..."
Kai: Try hours ago. What kind of get up is this? Are you sure this is Japan?
Uruha: No, but that's what it says.
Kai: Well I agree with you. How the hell can we get lost IN OUR OWN HOMELAND?
Ruki: Yeah. The driver's supposed to know the directions, if not, our manager, who is supposed to be there but isn't.
Reita: Or you can just use Mapquest on Kai's laptop.
Ruki: I thought Aoi was the one with the laptop.
Uruha: His singing is getting annoying by the way.
Aoi made a slight bow after speaking, as a king of apology to them for interrupting. He then made a quick glance back to the van to check that the car hadn't been swamped by people yet. To his relief it was silent outside and could just see Ruki peering through one of the slightly open car windows. He then turned back to the girl and smiled.
Aoi: *Suddenly stops singing* I don't believe in kings.
Uruha: So you finally decided to stop?
Aoi. What.
Kai: There it is again.
Aoi: *Ignores him but fails*
Back inside the van, Ruki, as previously mentioned, was watching Aoi like a hawk through his large sun-glasses. Reita had got bored with bass practice and was also watching. Uruha had his elbow on the arm of his seat and resting his chin in that hand while also watching Aoi. However Kai was too busy still listening to his music scores and changing things here and there on his lap-top. Reita laughed to himself.
Ruki: It's a fake! I repeat! It's a fake! Get you ass back to ur base before they find out your true identity!
Reita: I got bored with my bass? I never get bored with my bass.
Kai: Everyone's watching you Aoi.
Uruha: I don't know why. You're not that amusing to look at anyway.
Aoi: Shut up! You'll blow my cover.
Ruki: What cover? You'll most likely blow your own damn cover. You're acting too suspicious!
Reita: That..sounded kind of wrong.
Aoi: Just like your face.
Uruha: Nice.
Aoi: Shush!
"Well so far so good, he's actually approached someone", Reita commented, now taking the ear-phones from around his neck and rolling them around his iPod, "But I agree with Ruki, it would have been quicker to just call the venue".
All: ...
Kai: WHY DIDN'T THEY DO THAT IN THE FIRST DAMN PLACE!?
Uruha: You know, I'm concerned about the intelligence of the human race.
Reita: and the author.
Ruki: Red paint and red circles. Red paint and red circles...
"You could say it's our own fault for not properly know where it is anyway", Ruki said, slipping his pen into the spiral binding of his note-pad, "It's a newly built venue last month, supposed to be half the size of Budoukan".
Kai: Yes, it is your damn faul-
Aoi: Wait, so we went to a venue without knowing where it is? We don't even know it exists! This is a major point deduction. Kai?
Reita; Boy, where have you been?
Kai: Wow. -1000 points, and we're only in the second chapter.
Uruha: We know it doesn't exist, because the author made it up.
Ruki: We know that now.
Aoi: I'm betting...500 yen that the story will reach -00.
Reita: What's that?
Aoi: Negative infinity.
Uruha: Is that even possible?
Aoi: To me it is.
Uruha: Again, where has the logic gone?
"Yoshiatsu Dome is like a sister live-house to Budoukan. Perfect for our gig tonight seeing it's only a small fan-club live", Kai said, packing up his lap-top and also slipping it into his shoulder bag, "Just a single level venue, much the size of the floor at Budoukan".
"Wow that’s still fairly big. Just without the balconies. I can't wait to see it", Uruha said, dropping his arm and glancing back at Kai, "But it's a bit far-fetched having to go straight into doing a gig at a venue we haven't even practiced in yet".
Uruha: No it's not! Because if this were realistic, we would have done all of the setup and practicing at the damn place before the fans showed up. What kind of example would we be setting if we came to our venues late?
Aoi: Not a very god one that's for sure. I'm hating this story.
Ruki: Good, because the chapter's over.
Uruha: but not the story itself.
All *Groan*