all of this is one hundred percent true.

[nintendork]

to the wealthy and the powerful, the drink you know as mountain dew is a joke. it is a weak imitation of a rare and exquisite liguor distilled from the berries of the near extinct extremus bush. the remaining bushes are carefully tended by an elite corps of caretakers and guards, on an ever moving, untraceable gilded train car. they sell true dew in small batches only to those who are rich enough to know when the train will be nearby. the men robbing the train are NOT wealthy, and are NOT powerful, and shouldn't even know that the gilded mountain dew distillery car EXISTS.

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