(no subject)
I have these little insecurities...... WTF.... Ok sooooooooo Bothered right now and i dont even know why... I just get into these moods where i trust nothing nor do i think anyone cares.. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh It almost makes me wanna cry.... I psycho analyze myself after learning about it in class of course haha.. And i got some issues at least according to some.. Not exactly sure how to deal with a few things... Iv gone threw some tough times most dont even know about or even know how serious it really was.... I have often wondered if i over dramatize things i dunno... probably.....Thats my life right.. it kinda scares me a little letting go again... Almost like closing my eyes leaning back, is there someone there to catch me? or will I fall into that deep hole until I hit what I think is the lowest place only to bust threw again to fall even deeper. I feel like it goes on and on and on... When does my fall stop? when will there be someone to catch me? should there be someone to catch me? Do I need someone to catch me? I dunno the questions I ask myself daily as I stare into the eyes of the man I care about only to see my own insecurities looking right at me in the face.. Does he really care? Can he only see me? what does he see? I know what I see, not to pretty rocking back and forth side to side wondering is this all there is.. Why I choose the long hard route or did I choose it? Was it set out for me by someone or something... Am I destined to always feel so insecure or will I some day find peace from this? more questions and no answers... Who would have them probably only me but obvious im so lost and confused i probably will never find them..... Right now I wonder whats going on whos doing what where is it going on.. falling deeper into my self made hole....