(Untitled)
❝2009 IDOL CROSSOVER (SMUT) ANONYMEME❞
☮ japan meets korea meets the rest of asia ☮
because nothing is more fun than mixing fandoms like crazy!Ever thought about crossing over random idol groups? From JE? From SME? From YG? From JYPE? H!P? Hell go past the pop-idol groups and maybe even those JRock artists?! This is your chance to think up of the ( Read more... )
jun walks into arashi's dressing room to see sho frowning at a newspaper. it wasn't unusual to see sho reading a newspaper (more like a very common sight), but it was more the frown that made jun curious.
"hey," jun says, settling on the chair beside sho. "what's up?" he angles his chin towards the newspaper clutched tightly in sho's fists.
"oh, hey," sho says, still not looking up from the newspaper. "just. well, you won't get it until you read it."
"then let me read it."
sho hands the newspaper over to jun, jabbing at an area at the entertainment section angrily. "see that?" he cries, poking some guy with a weird pineapple-like hairstyle in the eye. "it's some new korean group trying to take over our territory!"
jun sighs. "again?" he asks, scrutinising the grainy picture intently. "i thought tohoshinki was bad enough."
sho makes a face. "plus these guys are like... i don't know. manlier!" he points at some guy wearing sunglasses and striking a manly-looking pose for effect.
"well," jun says. "it doesn't take much to be manlier than tohoshinki."
sho shakes his head and shushes jun. "don't let nino hear that," he whispers. "he has a mancrush on yunho, kind of."
"did i hear yunho's name?" nino demands from behind them, making jun drop the newspaper in shock. "it better not be something bad."
"oh," sho says quickly, flashing an innocent grin at nino. "we were just talking about how... manly he is."
nino nods. "that's right," he enthuses. "look at how tall he is! and his muscles, oh my god."
"but nino," jun says, waving a hand in front of nino's glassy eyes as he uses his free hand to pick the newspaper up from the floor. "in here it says these guys actually won tohoshinki before!"
"what?" nino shrieks, horrified. he snatches the newspaper from jun's hands, scanning through the article quickly. "no! no no no no no! how dare they!"
jun and sho exchange slightly terrified looks as nino crumples the newspaper up and hurls it, effectively managing to hit ohno on the head as he walks into the dressing room.
"what the -" ohno begins, but aiba's voice immediately chirps, "language, riida!"
"heck," ohno finishes. "my hair! it's ruined!"
"it's fine," jun says reassuringly as ohno rushes to the mirror to check on his damaged hairstyle. "really, riida."
"aibaaaaaaaaaaaa~" nino wails. "there are some horrible men trying to take away yunho's god-like position in korea! and they're coming here to fight for our territory!"
aiba gasps dramatically, hands flying to his mouth as he shakes his head slowly. "how could they!"
"terrible, really," jun says in a monotone, and sho stifles a laugh. nino turns his glare to sho.
"this is not a matter to be laughed at!" nino insists. "we have to come up with a plan!"
"a plan!" echoes aiba, punching the air for effect.
jun is starting to wish he never showed nino the newspaper article. "uh," he says. "what exactly are you planning to do?"
nino's eyes glitter dangerously. "why," he says, smiling creepily. "have a battle, of course."
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taeyang gives him an annoyed look. "yeah, i know, you've been saying that since last week."
"but isn't it so cool?" seungri beams, nodding his head non-stop to express the coolness of the matter. "i mean, they're like the most popular group here!"
"okay, okay," taeyang says, peeling seungri's hands off his arm. "why don't you go find jiyong-hyung? i'm sure he'd love to hear all about that."
seungri skips away to look for jiyong, and taeyang shakes his head as he turns to daesung. "finally," he says, sighing. "i don't get what that kid is so excited about, anyway. it's not like they can even communicate."
daesung shrugs. "probably getting more contacts for his phone to show off," he says, and taeyang nods in agreement.
seungri appears back in the room, this time attached to jiyong, who shoots taeyang a you-are-going-to-die-later look. "i looooove matsujun!" seungri exclaims. "i totally watched hana yori dango!"
"personally," says seunghyun, who had been dozing off just a few seconds ago. "i think lee minho was better."
everyone turns to give him a weird look. "since when did you watch boys over flowers?" jiyong asks finally.
seunghyun shrugs. "hyunjoong made me," he says.
"ohhhhh," seungri says, nodding sagely. "anyway, did you help me tell hyunjoong-hyung how awesome he was? he still hasn't called me back, you know!"
"i think you scared him off," seunghyun says truthfully. "he was pretty freaked out."
seungri's face falls. "oh."
jiyong pats seungri's shoulder sympathetically. "it's okay," he says comfortingly. "you still have matsujun to look forward to, right?"
"yeah!" seungri says enthusiastically, smile brightening his face again. "do you think he'll give me his number?"
"so," nino says in english. "um... big bang?" he says, gesturing towards the group of five guys standing there.
"yes!" the guy with too much eyeliner and a mega-watt smile replies brightly (in english). jun is a bit freaked out by the hope just shining in the guy's eyes. "i," he says, pressing a hand to his chest. "seungri."
"ninomiya kazunari," nino says grandly, waving regally at seungri. "they all call me nino. but you can't."
seungri blinks at the string of japanese words he cannot understand, then turns helplessly to jiyong. "what?"
jiyong shrugs. "just smile."
seungri beams. jun takes a step back, nearly blinded by the brightness of the beam. "okay!" seungri says. "okay!"
sho raises his eyebrows, and jun raises his shoulders a little in a shrug. "no idea," he mouths.
"um," ohno says, trying to sound leader-like (and failing). "i am leader. ohno satoshi."
"i am leader. g-dragon." the guy with the pineapple hairdo says. "fo sho!"
"crack, crack, crack, crack!" seungri says helpfully, earning even weirded out glances from the members of arashi.
ohno turns to sho, the best english-speaker in the group, in confusion. "what?"
"i don't know," sho says. "i think he's, like, a drug addict or something."
"oh my god!" squeaks aiba. "that's terrible! should we call the police?"
"yeah!" nino says. "just look at the amount of eyeliner he's wearing! it's obvious that he's a drug addict! or maybe a murderer!"
"maybe," aiba says dramatically. "he escaped from prison!"
jun rolls his eyes. "shut up, shut up," he says. "they're staring at us."
indeed, the big bang members were staring at the arashi members chattering away in japanese with wide eyes.
"gd is neat in the flesh! top to bottom so freshly dressed!" jiyong suddenly bursts out. some other guy who has really small eyes starts sniggering.
all the members of arashi look towards sho again for translations, but this time sho's eyes are shining. "you!" he says loudly, pointing at jiyong, who looks scared. "you're the rapper!"
"ah..." jiyong says. "yes! big bang is back! most definitely incredible, hey move!"
"hajikerya yeah! sunao ni good! dakara choito omoi no wa boo! that's all right! sore demo jidai wo kiwameru!sSou sa bokura wa super boy! we are cool!" replies sho, as aiba helpfully tags on adlibs whenever necessary.
jiyong blinks. sho smirks.
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"what the freak?" seunghyun asks, staring at seungri. "what is wrong with you, dude?"
"you!" seungri says, pointing at aiba, who is shocked. "hot banana!"
"i think he's talking about the a no arashi segment," ohno whispers to aiba. "you know, the one where we tested out how food would taste like if it was hot?"
aiba's look of utter confusion vanishes, only to be replaced by one of happiness. "yes!" he yells. "yes!"
"cool!" seungri says in japanese, giving aiba a thumbs-up. "i like!"
aiba grins happily. "really?" he asks modestly. "i like, too!" he hops over towards seungri, who backs away at first but stops moving when aiba slings a friendly arm around his shoulder.
"well," ohno says finally as aiba and seungri move to a quieter corner of the room to discuss about aiba's experiments. "i like fishing."
daesung stares at ohno, who says defensively, "hey! fishing is fun!"
"i... like fishing."
"what!" nino and taeyang say at the same time.
"how come you never told me!" taeyang says accusingly, while nino says, "fishing is for old men!"
"i'm daesung!" daesung says excitedly. "and i like fishing!"
"i'm ohno, and i like fishing, too!"
jun pokes nino's arm. "hey," jun whispers. "i think that ugly guy over there is trying to seduce your boyfriend."
"not my boyfriend," nino hisses back automatically.
"yeah, i totally believe that," sho joins in, sniggering.
nino crosses his arms across his chest and turns away from jun and sho childishly, smiling widely at taeyang, jiyong and seunghyun. "well!" he says brightly. "i like yunho!"
silence permeates the room as even seungri, daesung, ohno and aiba stop their discussions about experiments/fishing and turn to stare at nino.
"oh my god," seunghyun says finally. "you're gay?"
"well, i think that went well!" aiba says happily. "they're quite cool, yeah?"
"except nino didn't manage to carry out his grand plan." jun says snidely.
nino pouts. "that's because everyone was off making friends and talking about experiments or fishing or rapping or hyunjoong and the entire boys over flowers cast or tohoshinki."
"the last part was yours," sho points out.
"i didn't say it wasn't mine," nino shoots back. "i said everyone, and that includes me."
"daesungie!" ohno says loudly into his phone. "tell me when you're free, okay? we can go fishing together! as soon as possible, before you go back to korea, okay?"
jun sighs.
"see, i told you they were awesome!" seungri cheers. "you guys never believe me!"
"we totally did," fibs jiyong. "remember, we were talking about how much we liked to sing step and go in the shower?"
taeyang laughs out loud. jiyong elbows him.
"but," seunghyun says. "that noni guy is gay!"
"nino!" seungri corrects. "and so are you."
seunghyun looks appalled. "i'm not!"
daesung grins cheekily. "want me to tell them about your secret collection of jaejoong's photos and videos and..."
"shut up!" seunghyun roars, and daesung dodges out of seunghyun's advancing hands.
seungri taps his chin thoughtfully, ignoring daesung's yells and the sound of seunghyun crashing into a make-up table. "what say we go find news next? or kat-tun?"
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gd!rap vs. sho!rap AND SEUNGRI HAVING SEEN HANADAN AND HAVING WATCHED A NO ARASHI and daesung and ohno and fishing and dammit, SRSLY. :D:D:D:D:D:D
"but," seunghyun says. "that noni guy is gay!"
"nino!" seungri corrects. "and so are you."
seunghyun looks appalled. "i'm not!"
gsgsgdghfhk AND STEP AND GO IN THE FUCKING SHOWER, HELL YES. :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
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i spent the entire time just laughing. this was. oh my god. from nino's mancrush on yunho and seungri watching enough a no arashi to make do with AIBA and ohno and daesung are SO CUTE. and gd and sho talking about rap! omg if you make a kanjani8 or news sequel i would bow at your feet.
THANK YOU SO MUCH. ♥
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"crack, crack, crack, crack!" seungri says helpfully, earning even weirded out glances from the members of arashi.
loool way to break the ice, ri xD
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