My life 6
for my gals they know who they are
Hay i know its been awhile since ive chatted alot has happened my past catching up with me
messing with my head trying to sort out my feelings you see ive kept something hidden from
people because they may not know how to take it sometimes they may not know it but every so
offten im a different person you could say i get theses voices in me head telling me how to
act i can be a bitch i can be happy go lucky or flirty it depends what mood im in i can change
jus like that its like a click of a button sometimes i forget what ive done then realise ive
hurt someone i love while growing up i had a friend bare in mind i was the only one that could
see her she was my twin her name was tina or should i say is you see i believed in her so much
that she never truly left me like i thought she did so many years ago shes always there with
me i can not see her but it dont mean shes not there i feel her with me every day watchin me
do every day things chatting to my mates giving them advice chatting to star and not being
able to stop my ever growing love for that gal i believe that tina was sent to watch over me
like a guardian angel now you may laugh but i feel that is who she is and she is also my
past life im her but in this life 2 souls thrown together in the same bodys i know weird
right but thats how it feels some off my gals may see that sometimes i can be a bitch or
a flirt if star sees me now she may think ok this gal is crazey but im not i feel alot of
things im scared all the time of the smallest things i worry alot the past couple of days
ive texted my gals asking what they thought of me coz when my best mate tells me how amazin
i am it goes over my head because i dont believe i am at all.
a couple of days ago one of the gals i care about decided not to be me mate anymore i met her
though star actually i was jealous coz i love star and star told me about her friend and how
they had fallen inlove with her star is not even my gal yet i felt i had to protect her but
one night me and shane was chatting and then the convo changed shane could no longer be mine
or stars mate because of how she felt for star she also knew how i felt for star and she made
it out that she loves star more then me i dont think so after spending half the night tryin to
get shane to see sense and dont be stupid and stop bein our friend it was no use she had her
mind made up i cried because not only was i losing a friend but i felt that i lost star her
friend 2 the next day i felt really bad i hardly slept i txt my lil sis jr i needed advice i
must of txted all me gals i needed some input after a while i was getting used to the idea of
know shane because then i could have star to me self call me self fish but thats how i felt
i guess i spoke to soon tho because star told me her and shane are mates again to say i was
angry does not even comes close i was fuming because she hurt star just by tryin to delete
her from her life i did not care bout me it was star i was worried bout coz it really upsetted
her losein a really good friend not even a day went past before shane was back i was like
really honestly i just got fucking used to the idea off not having her as a mate but funny
enough something clicked she came back to get star and thats what scared me the most what if
star does start to like shane that was all i could think of and would i lose star in anyway
to get things off my mind i went out with me bezzie kylie we hanged out chiled for abit had
some food i cried out of scaredness and anger we made our way to mine we waited for the bus
and on the window was a picture of a clown well i no longer saw a clown what i could see
was shane lookin at me laughin so i did what felt right i closed my hand into a fist and
smacked my hand into the window it hard like fuck but i let some anger out kylie laughed
she could not believe i did that i was surprised i did it my self as i sat down i turned to
see that fucking clown so i walked up to it and ripped the poster down and threw it in the
bin i was sick if the clown and sick of thinking non stop about the whole shane business
well that was yesterday.
today well i had me hair down and while my mate did my hair she came across 4 grey hairs
due to my stressin all the time and thats when i thought enough of all this anger and
jealousy star can be mates with who ever she likes i cant keep going backwards i need to
go forwards and start to listen to thos who say im carin and kind, amazin even charming but
if thos gals can see that in me then who am i to say that im not all thos things that these
gals truly mean it so thats what im gonna do im gonna listen more and actually believe when
they tell me if im beautiful or a great person because lifes 2 short and i wanna look to the
future.
thanks for readin i know what a drag well in my defence it is 4:11am lol xxxxxxxx