(no subject)
I have been spending today not feeling so well at work. I have a bit of a cold and have been taking so much medication for it that I am lucky I know my own name right now. So if any of this post makes no sense it is my fault I am a bit groggy. Anyways this weekend was great. I had a good time at faire Alexis got to bond with Paul a bit. I have to say for meeting him once she has a great liking for him. she even asked why he was going home sunday night instead of coming with us. I have to say I really am happy for once right now. I have found someone who in a cheesy way of saying it makes me feel complete. Some have asked me if I know what I am doing am I juming in too fast aren't I scared that this could just be a romp in the faire pupmkin patch. Honestly I can say this is no romp this is no just a good time t hing. This is something that I really do believe can work. I have found a heart close to mmy own that I can share. I can say that I haven't felt like this in a long fucking time and as far as I am concerned I have to go with what myheart tells me. I won't deny that my heart has led me astray before but again a cheesy line comes to mind. This is different. I am at one with mmyself when I am with him I feel at one with him. I miss his arms around me and in five days I will revel in the fact that when he sees me his eyes smile from far away as he makes his way over to me. I have spent the past few months telling myself that I am tired of all the games I hate dating I hate getting into relationships that go no where. I am looking for the long haul. And yes that does mean I have come to terms with the fact that my rockstar powers are failing nd maybe it is time for me to settle down and start thinking about a family type life. Of course I mean a deranged rennie family life but a family life just the same. With Paul I am feeling closer to that than I have in a long time. Myheart misses him greatly and I hope the next five days fly by....