Ho hum, another day in the life
Ya know, It suddenly occurs to me that in spite of the rather 'blah' nature fo the title, I realy have a metric ass-ton of shite that I've done since I last remember writing. Mainly, a trip to Chna and before than a five-month deployment. I may have written abotu the deployment, but I can't recall right now. So I s'pose I shoudl lay this garbage out in some sort of chronoloical order...
Hmmm, deployment seems liek a good place to star. Sure, why not. Flash back to the beginning of April, 2004. Nope, no trendy flashback transition effects, the Navy's sfx budget sucks. Anyway, my ship takes off from home (home bing Yokosuka, Japan for those not paying attention) and heads east. First stop: Malaysia.
Now, I'm probably not the only one who had a certain... prejudiced view of Malaysia. I was expecting tigers and cannibals and crazy ninja pygmies and all that nonsense. Imagine my absolute suprese then, when the liberty bus picks me up at the pier and drops me off and a 10, yes 10, story mall. This was quite possibly the leetest mall I have ever seen, seeing as it had a roller-coaster built INSIDE and spanning three floors. Yup, it was the shit. There were no fewer than three Starbucks shops and a ton of electronics and media stores. And, down the road from the mall was the obligtory Planet Holywood, where I was entertanied by a relatively kick-ass local band. Needless to say, I left that port tweeking on coffee and a few CDs richer. Alas, the next port was not nearly as cool.
And thus I find myself in Sri Lanka. Egads. Ya know, for a country that produces the majority of all the shoes I've ever owned, I think I saw a grand total of 20 people wearing any kind of footwear. Which might not seem like such a big deal at first, but then there's the absence of a "No Shirt, No SHoes" policy from any of the burger joints, including McDolands. Let me tell you, there's nothing quite like the smell of dozens of unwashed feet in an enclosed, air-conditioned space to damn near destroy your appetite. I think, if it wasnt for the fact that I hadn't eaten yet that day (and it was damn near three o'clock), I couldn't have choked down a burger and soda. Needless to say, I didn't hang out at the McDonalds any longer than absolutely nessecary. Blech. But that evening the local contingent of Marines that ran security for the embassy threw a kick-ass BBQ, so the day ended on a high note. Over-all Sri Lanka sucked, though.
After Sri Lanka we got to the "fun" part of deployment. Namely, hours and hours and hours (weeks) of endless driving in circles around a pair of oil rigs to keep them safe. Tis was right about the time that the US was giving control of Iraq back to the Iraquis, so everyone was somewhat paranoid about an attack. Me? I had a 50-caliber machine gun, several thousand rounds, and an agressive attitude thanks to hours spent in the god-forsaken sun and heat. (For those of you who have never been to the Persian Gulf, lemme 'splain you somethin'. The average day temp , including heat index and shite, was in the mid 120s, cooling to a mere mid 90s at night. And I got to stand outside in a one-piece coverall, flak jacket and Kevlar helm.) I was an angry, vicious puppy. Even my friends avoided me for the worst part of those few weeks. But that passed and my ship finally pulled in to the naval base at Bahrain.
bahrain, thogh not nearly as shitty as Sri Lanka, was still not as cool as Malaysia. However, I DID get to go see Troy on a movie screen, so it wasn't too bad.
After Bahrain, it was back outfor more drving in circles, but this time they had a bunch of newbies we picked up at Bahrain to go stand my watch, so I got to chill out. (Literally. The average temp. for my workspace, no matter what the temp outside, is in the low 60s. w00t.) So that translated out to hours and hours of extra X-box time, which I put to good use getting my ass rightously kicked in the (at that time) freshly released Ninja Gaiden.
Speaking of Ninja Gaiden, I have to interrupt my rant here to talk about this game. Put simply, if you own an X-box and you like action/quasi-platform style games, this game is for you. It plays like a blisteringly tweeked version of Onimusha as far as basic controls, but the game is overwhelmingly superior to Onimusha in every way (and I LIKE Onimusha, don't get me wrong). SO buy the game. It kicks my ass and makes me like it. Anyway, back to my other rant.
After a while we got cut loose form guard duty, so we swung down and hit Jebel Ali for a few days. An OK port, but I was quite upset that the T.G.I.Fridays didn't have potato skins. Ah well, it was time off the boat and for that I was happy.
So we eventually quit burning fuel in the Gulf and headed for home. Two stops along the way. Stop #1: Mumbai, India. Yes, India IS as poverty-wracked as you've heard on TV. I'm a hard-hearted, ruthless, unfeeling bastard when it comes to complete strangers, but even I almost felt bad for the worst of these wretches. I bought a bunch of awesome movies on VCD, laughed at the shitty computer parts they tried to pawn of on me, and had a few good meals at the hotel. All in all, not too shabby. More time off the boat. Hooray!
Ah, but then there was stop #2. Phuket, Thailand. Oh yes indeed. Thailand kicked just as much ass as the rumors said it would. Granted, I spent absolutely zero time drinking and whoring, which is what most sailors do in Thailand, but I left that country with four brand-new, hand-made, custom-tailored suits. And a few new throwing blades. What, I havent bought anew weapon in damn near two years. Get off ma' case.
Anyway, after Thailand we came home, there was a much-needed and far-too-short leave period, and then my ship was off agian to China.
China was pretty funy,all in all. It amused me to no end reading all the Communist Party slogans that were on the billboards and what-not. But the Chinese DID throw a kick-ass party for us the first night in. We're talking a majorly grand reception, seven-table buffet, the works. And Chinese women are hot, yo! I was so used to Japanese women (flat as a 12-year-old boy, in most cases) that the first thin I said to my partner in crime was "Holy SHIT, these chicas have body!" So sue me, I haven't been properly laid in a while.
Anyway, after the whole China thing, here I am again, with a grand total of 18 days in-port before my ship takes off for another 5 weeks. I, of course, am trying to weazel my way out of that trip. With a high chance of success, I might add. Muahaha, go me.
So anyway, that's about it. This post should hold you over for another few months, until I fnally get around to doing something else that I feel is rant-worthy.
Oh, and go buy Ninja Gaiden. It roxx.
Hmmm, deployment seems liek a good place to star. Sure, why not. Flash back to the beginning of April, 2004. Nope, no trendy flashback transition effects, the Navy's sfx budget sucks. Anyway, my ship takes off from home (home bing Yokosuka, Japan for those not paying attention) and heads east. First stop: Malaysia.
Now, I'm probably not the only one who had a certain... prejudiced view of Malaysia. I was expecting tigers and cannibals and crazy ninja pygmies and all that nonsense. Imagine my absolute suprese then, when the liberty bus picks me up at the pier and drops me off and a 10, yes 10, story mall. This was quite possibly the leetest mall I have ever seen, seeing as it had a roller-coaster built INSIDE and spanning three floors. Yup, it was the shit. There were no fewer than three Starbucks shops and a ton of electronics and media stores. And, down the road from the mall was the obligtory Planet Holywood, where I was entertanied by a relatively kick-ass local band. Needless to say, I left that port tweeking on coffee and a few CDs richer. Alas, the next port was not nearly as cool.
And thus I find myself in Sri Lanka. Egads. Ya know, for a country that produces the majority of all the shoes I've ever owned, I think I saw a grand total of 20 people wearing any kind of footwear. Which might not seem like such a big deal at first, but then there's the absence of a "No Shirt, No SHoes" policy from any of the burger joints, including McDolands. Let me tell you, there's nothing quite like the smell of dozens of unwashed feet in an enclosed, air-conditioned space to damn near destroy your appetite. I think, if it wasnt for the fact that I hadn't eaten yet that day (and it was damn near three o'clock), I couldn't have choked down a burger and soda. Needless to say, I didn't hang out at the McDonalds any longer than absolutely nessecary. Blech. But that evening the local contingent of Marines that ran security for the embassy threw a kick-ass BBQ, so the day ended on a high note. Over-all Sri Lanka sucked, though.
After Sri Lanka we got to the "fun" part of deployment. Namely, hours and hours and hours (weeks) of endless driving in circles around a pair of oil rigs to keep them safe. Tis was right about the time that the US was giving control of Iraq back to the Iraquis, so everyone was somewhat paranoid about an attack. Me? I had a 50-caliber machine gun, several thousand rounds, and an agressive attitude thanks to hours spent in the god-forsaken sun and heat. (For those of you who have never been to the Persian Gulf, lemme 'splain you somethin'. The average day temp , including heat index and shite, was in the mid 120s, cooling to a mere mid 90s at night. And I got to stand outside in a one-piece coverall, flak jacket and Kevlar helm.) I was an angry, vicious puppy. Even my friends avoided me for the worst part of those few weeks. But that passed and my ship finally pulled in to the naval base at Bahrain.
bahrain, thogh not nearly as shitty as Sri Lanka, was still not as cool as Malaysia. However, I DID get to go see Troy on a movie screen, so it wasn't too bad.
After Bahrain, it was back outfor more drving in circles, but this time they had a bunch of newbies we picked up at Bahrain to go stand my watch, so I got to chill out. (Literally. The average temp. for my workspace, no matter what the temp outside, is in the low 60s. w00t.) So that translated out to hours and hours of extra X-box time, which I put to good use getting my ass rightously kicked in the (at that time) freshly released Ninja Gaiden.
Speaking of Ninja Gaiden, I have to interrupt my rant here to talk about this game. Put simply, if you own an X-box and you like action/quasi-platform style games, this game is for you. It plays like a blisteringly tweeked version of Onimusha as far as basic controls, but the game is overwhelmingly superior to Onimusha in every way (and I LIKE Onimusha, don't get me wrong). SO buy the game. It kicks my ass and makes me like it. Anyway, back to my other rant.
After a while we got cut loose form guard duty, so we swung down and hit Jebel Ali for a few days. An OK port, but I was quite upset that the T.G.I.Fridays didn't have potato skins. Ah well, it was time off the boat and for that I was happy.
So we eventually quit burning fuel in the Gulf and headed for home. Two stops along the way. Stop #1: Mumbai, India. Yes, India IS as poverty-wracked as you've heard on TV. I'm a hard-hearted, ruthless, unfeeling bastard when it comes to complete strangers, but even I almost felt bad for the worst of these wretches. I bought a bunch of awesome movies on VCD, laughed at the shitty computer parts they tried to pawn of on me, and had a few good meals at the hotel. All in all, not too shabby. More time off the boat. Hooray!
Ah, but then there was stop #2. Phuket, Thailand. Oh yes indeed. Thailand kicked just as much ass as the rumors said it would. Granted, I spent absolutely zero time drinking and whoring, which is what most sailors do in Thailand, but I left that country with four brand-new, hand-made, custom-tailored suits. And a few new throwing blades. What, I havent bought anew weapon in damn near two years. Get off ma' case.
Anyway, after Thailand we came home, there was a much-needed and far-too-short leave period, and then my ship was off agian to China.
China was pretty funy,all in all. It amused me to no end reading all the Communist Party slogans that were on the billboards and what-not. But the Chinese DID throw a kick-ass party for us the first night in. We're talking a majorly grand reception, seven-table buffet, the works. And Chinese women are hot, yo! I was so used to Japanese women (flat as a 12-year-old boy, in most cases) that the first thin I said to my partner in crime was "Holy SHIT, these chicas have body!" So sue me, I haven't been properly laid in a while.
Anyway, after the whole China thing, here I am again, with a grand total of 18 days in-port before my ship takes off for another 5 weeks. I, of course, am trying to weazel my way out of that trip. With a high chance of success, I might add. Muahaha, go me.
So anyway, that's about it. This post should hold you over for another few months, until I fnally get around to doing something else that I feel is rant-worthy.
Oh, and go buy Ninja Gaiden. It roxx.