(no subject)
Gather round fuckwits kiddies,
Once upon a time, there was a pirate wench and a ninja who loved each other a very long time. Then the wench smoked a cigarette and they loved each other some more. Then the wench passed out and the ninja loved her some more and snuck out the window. Don't be too sad, that's usually how these things go. Now, it should be noted that even for ninja, this guy was a douche. He just found the drunkest piece of ass he could find and took it to bed, and just sort of assumed she was on some kind of protection, and even if she wasn't, he really didn't give a shit. If it popped out of her butt- he figured- it was her problem. Unfortunately for Ninja McDoucheface, he chose the dumbest wench ever. We don't like to talk about it much, but not all pirate wenches are articulate, sassy ladies. In fact some of them are just stupid whores. So, the dumb bitch of a pirate was not protecting herself, and Ninja McDoucheface did not see fit to aim for the ass- as has been so sensibly suggested time and again. Lo and behold, she had a bun in the oven.
All of her friends were like "Damn girl, abort that shit!" But, as I think I may have expressed already, she had about the common sence of Captain Morgan's mustache, and plus she was kinda ugly and figured that a baby at least would love her more than two hours. So, despite her friends efforts to talk sense into her, and a few of her friends attempting to arrange "accidents" the unholy child was born. Let me just tell you this: it was the lamest baby ever. As he grew, he just got more anoying. You know those kids who aren't really mean per se, but are just annoying douche-bags? Yah, imagine that time a billion and you would get this kid. All he would talk about is how much he hated ninjas. And how much he hated gay people. And how ninjas were so gay and he hated gay ninjas. Now, the fact is that unless locked in deadly combat, ninja and pirates generally don't give a shit about each other and would prefer to just pillage and sneak around in peace. Also, most pirates had nothing about gayness. Wenches though pirate-on-pirate action was teh hawt and most of the men just looked at it as less competition for wenches. Plus all those nights on the sea can get long and lonely and what's a pirate to do, eh? WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME???
Everyone just wanted him to shut the fuck up. Or drown. Drowning was really preferable, but never ever talking again would have been a good start. Anyway, as he got older, he went through an even lamer phase where he wanted to be proud of his-er- ninjaness. Finally he had the epiphany that he had to unite the pirates and the ninjas. He told his mother his plan, and even being the dumb bitch that she was, she finnally got fed up and shot him in the face with her musket.
And that, friends, is the story of the first pinja. And why we will never team up ever unless the clowns amass an army, but really if that is happening, one side or the other will probably take out the clowns before they get too strong. Ok, let's be honest with ourselvs, shall we? The ninjas will just take out the clowns on their own. We probably wouldn't give a shit.
Once upon a time, there was a pirate wench and a ninja who loved each other a very long time. Then the wench smoked a cigarette and they loved each other some more. Then the wench passed out and the ninja loved her some more and snuck out the window. Don't be too sad, that's usually how these things go. Now, it should be noted that even for ninja, this guy was a douche. He just found the drunkest piece of ass he could find and took it to bed, and just sort of assumed she was on some kind of protection, and even if she wasn't, he really didn't give a shit. If it popped out of her butt- he figured- it was her problem. Unfortunately for Ninja McDoucheface, he chose the dumbest wench ever. We don't like to talk about it much, but not all pirate wenches are articulate, sassy ladies. In fact some of them are just stupid whores. So, the dumb bitch of a pirate was not protecting herself, and Ninja McDoucheface did not see fit to aim for the ass- as has been so sensibly suggested time and again. Lo and behold, she had a bun in the oven.
All of her friends were like "Damn girl, abort that shit!" But, as I think I may have expressed already, she had about the common sence of Captain Morgan's mustache, and plus she was kinda ugly and figured that a baby at least would love her more than two hours. So, despite her friends efforts to talk sense into her, and a few of her friends attempting to arrange "accidents" the unholy child was born. Let me just tell you this: it was the lamest baby ever. As he grew, he just got more anoying. You know those kids who aren't really mean per se, but are just annoying douche-bags? Yah, imagine that time a billion and you would get this kid. All he would talk about is how much he hated ninjas. And how much he hated gay people. And how ninjas were so gay and he hated gay ninjas. Now, the fact is that unless locked in deadly combat, ninja and pirates generally don't give a shit about each other and would prefer to just pillage and sneak around in peace. Also, most pirates had nothing about gayness. Wenches though pirate-on-pirate action was teh hawt and most of the men just looked at it as less competition for wenches. Plus all those nights on the sea can get long and lonely and what's a pirate to do, eh? WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME???
Everyone just wanted him to shut the fuck up. Or drown. Drowning was really preferable, but never ever talking again would have been a good start. Anyway, as he got older, he went through an even lamer phase where he wanted to be proud of his-er- ninjaness. Finally he had the epiphany that he had to unite the pirates and the ninjas. He told his mother his plan, and even being the dumb bitch that she was, she finnally got fed up and shot him in the face with her musket.
And that, friends, is the story of the first pinja. And why we will never team up ever unless the clowns amass an army, but really if that is happening, one side or the other will probably take out the clowns before they get too strong. Ok, let's be honest with ourselvs, shall we? The ninjas will just take out the clowns on their own. We probably wouldn't give a shit.