I feel as if there is a whirlpool in my head.
I have been feeling awfully sad as of late.
I feel if I am losing everything.
Over the past few days things have been happening that have been making me overly depressed. Lately, Julie and I have been getting into, not quite arguments, but conversation that have been scaring me and have left me crying for hours. The other day Julie told me that she wasn't sure anymore if she wished to stay with me or not. I don't know what to do. I know this sounds obsessive, but Julie is truly the center of my life. I figure if I were to lose her that I would lose everything. I at least know that I would lose all of my friends, indeed Tom and Nikki. At this point they may not feel like they would lose me as a friend but our group would be split into factions and times that Julie and I would what to hang out with them they would ultimately choose Julie. Julie told me yesterday that she really didn't mean what she said about not knowing if she wanted to stay with me, but if she did leave me she would be OK with it. I really don't know how she feels. In the not to distant past she told me that she wanted me to do more little thing to show how much I care, like buy her flowers and other thing. But every time I try to buy her something or hint that I'm going to buy her something she tells me I shouldn't because I don't have the money and when were out in public she always insist on going dutch. Also I have told Julie that I would like her to start doing more little things, things she used to do, to show how much she cares. But she really hasn't been trying at all, and I'm beginning to feel as if she doesn't.
I'm not trying to sound mean or make anyone upset by saying these things, I'm trying to tell those who may care how I feel.
I apologize to all those who may become upset with this entry, and in advance would like to say I'm sorry. And to Julie, the one I love with all my heart, I would like to say
I Love You!
I feel if I am losing everything.
Over the past few days things have been happening that have been making me overly depressed. Lately, Julie and I have been getting into, not quite arguments, but conversation that have been scaring me and have left me crying for hours. The other day Julie told me that she wasn't sure anymore if she wished to stay with me or not. I don't know what to do. I know this sounds obsessive, but Julie is truly the center of my life. I figure if I were to lose her that I would lose everything. I at least know that I would lose all of my friends, indeed Tom and Nikki. At this point they may not feel like they would lose me as a friend but our group would be split into factions and times that Julie and I would what to hang out with them they would ultimately choose Julie. Julie told me yesterday that she really didn't mean what she said about not knowing if she wanted to stay with me, but if she did leave me she would be OK with it. I really don't know how she feels. In the not to distant past she told me that she wanted me to do more little thing to show how much I care, like buy her flowers and other thing. But every time I try to buy her something or hint that I'm going to buy her something she tells me I shouldn't because I don't have the money and when were out in public she always insist on going dutch. Also I have told Julie that I would like her to start doing more little things, things she used to do, to show how much she cares. But she really hasn't been trying at all, and I'm beginning to feel as if she doesn't.
I'm not trying to sound mean or make anyone upset by saying these things, I'm trying to tell those who may care how I feel.
I apologize to all those who may become upset with this entry, and in advance would like to say I'm sorry. And to Julie, the one I love with all my heart, I would like to say
I Love You!