oh, insecurity
i always feel like i'm a half a breath away from a fall. i can see it coming and then surprisingly, it isn't there. just like so many other moments that are turning out to not be there. my head is spinning, spun- who taught me what to expect? one small question that was maybe even a joke, but i don't know your tone of voice. it tears something precious away from me, just in one little second. because now that question is eternal, suddenly attaching itself to what i had before. what we had? i can't say. the only thing i know for sure is what it meant to me, for what it's worth. because what it meant is completely unrelated to what it was. i was a child, i don't know if mine is a judgement to be trusted. good lord, this has fucked me up.