Uncertainty
I figured i would drop some stuff down on this thing. Journals are supposed to keep a record of how you feel and how you are at a certain moment in time right? Well this moment in time, i'm shitty. I wanted to write a bunch of stuff into this, but i really don't feel like it. I don't feel like doing much of anything. Work tonight was boring, and for the most part i just drifted from one location to the other. Sure, i made a couple jokes here and there, but mostly i was just feeling shitty. I keep getting ignored by that somebody from earlier, i don't know where things are going in life, and i just don't feel anything anymore. I'm an empty guy. I need something in my life, i really do. I had everything i wanted coming into this year, at least i thought i did. And it was ripped away from me. By her, By others, By God, who knows. All i know, is that i want to destroy whatever ruined my happiness. All that work, all that waiting and hoping and trying to get things right, and when i finally get happy and feeling secure and having purpose in my life, its ripped away from me. What's worse, i believed i had a chance to get back to that happiness, and it also blew up in my face. I don't regret it; better to try for happiness and fail than to sit on the sidelines. I just wish i could be happy again. Anybody that could possibly help me with that, i'd greatly appreciate it. That's all i got. Later.