venting, whining, crying
So my bf is gone away and now I want to vent. I cant just vent to anyone cuz then i will be the annoying friend and will just sound totally obsessed with my bf and cant survive without him. Well i can survive without him, i just dont want to. I know that everything will be fine, just some days are worse than others. Hes been gone like 3 1/2 weeks now. I went from seeing him everyday to not at all for a month. I know I will get to see him next week for 2 days but then he leaves again. I wouldnt be as retardedly sad if I knew when he was coming back to stay. He doesnt know and his job doesnt know. That makes me sad and scared. I know that I can keep us together forever but how long can he? You think you know someone and you can be with them your whole life but you will never know exactly what is going on in their head. I'm just afraid that i will be here waiting forever and he'll be constantly moving and i'll never see him. Is it pointless to keep a relationship like that? I guess it depends on the couple, if they can deal with it or not. I want to see my bf, i need that. and yet i wouldnt end it cuz he is my world. I want to go where he is, but again, i need to know how long he will be places so then i can plan to get a job for a descent amount of time where he is. arg. Its so frustrating. I've be really good, keeping busy with work and friends everyday so i dont sit and think about him not being here. Today was kinda the first day that i didnt do anything or go anywhere. I got sad. And its crazy true on how much you know you love someone when they are gone. I know that i love him but it excelled so much more when he left. I feel like a retard for being like this but i cant help it. I was spoiled with being with him all the time. I'm really happy for him and that he has an awesome job that he likes, i wouldnt change that one bit. I just want to know when hes coming back for good. and where hes going next and for how long. Brandon works there and this job is not good for relationships he says, but i try not to listen, but my damn no good self-esteem issues kick in. Than i just feel bad for myself and think that this will end fast. But I'm just trying to take it day by day and pretend hes away at school. I hate everything. (i think i tend to say that alot)