I promise that I'm not going to bring this up again, but this is too important to just leave at what we did (Laren deleted her post).
you don't know what kind of relationship it is, so perhaps it's best not to meddle. If he makes the decision to break up with her because Laren seduced him and allowed him to emotionally cheat it IS half Larens fault. I'm sorry that you can't seem to understand what my opinions are but maybe after reading that you will understand more clearly.
I have understood your side of it. I've experienced relationships that turn shitty and people cheating on me more times than I can count. Moreover, my father cheated on my mom ever since I was three years old, up until they divorced when I was eighteen.
However, I think it is extremely unfair to place blame on one single person for something like that. It takes more than one person for a relationship, and if things go bad enough that one of them cheats, that's a reflection on both of them, not just one. Yes, I understand that it hurts one of them more than the other, but it's still true.
And I understand that you want to keep Laren from hurting someone badly, and that's the sign of a good friend. But you're only hurting her with the way you're trying to explain it, and that's not helping your side at all.
Again, I do understand where you're coming from. I'm just trying to show you that there is always more sides to a picture than just the one you see.
That's all I wanted to say. I don't want to be mean, and I understand that this is a difficult issue for you, and I promise to never bring it up again. I just... I don't know. I want to help you grow into a better person, I guess, and try to move on from this particular scar.
It always sucks to be the one cheated on, and I understand this, better than you know, I think. But that doesn't mean you can blindly hate anyone that gets involved in that sort of thing. "Life is run by a case-by-case basis" and none of these relationships are the same as yours, you know?
Again, I'm sorry that I had to bring this up again, and I never will again.
I never blamed one person for it, in fact that's what you're doing. You're saying it's entirely the fault of the cheater and that no blame should be placed on the person who is willingly participating.
There's no easy way to tell someone that what they are considering is barbaric and inconsiderate. Maybe it hurt her a little bit, but the truth hurts and it's more important to me to be honest than it is to keep everyone happy.
Of course there are more sides to the picture, I know from personal experience. I met my best friend by attempting to steal her boyfriend. I know what it feels like to want another girls boyfriend.
I don't know why you'd think that there are any scars to move on from, but the thought is very kind. Of course I understand that everything is on a case by case basis. (Again I don't know why you are thinking I'm comparing this situation to my own relationship.)
However, adultery and cheating are the very worst types of betrayal in my opinion. It's worse than child rape. I don't believe that it is acceptable in any case ever. It's unfair, it's underhanded and it's really subhuman to me. I know that a lot of people think that is extreme, but it's how I feel and I have a very hard time respecting cheaters or people that participate in affairs.
I appreciate your effort to extend yourself to me and make a peaceful resolution to the discussion we had earlier. It's very thoughtful ^.^ *hugs*
And the only reason why I thought you were taking things so personally was because of the strong imagery you used for how a person would feel if they were cheated on. I couldn't understand why you would use that sort of imagery if you hadn't experienced that sort of thing for yourself. ^___~
*hugs back* I hate leaving things on painful notes, you know? ^o^
you don't know what kind of relationship it is, so perhaps it's best not to meddle. If he makes the decision to break up with her because Laren seduced him and allowed him to emotionally cheat it IS half Larens fault. I'm sorry that you can't seem to understand what my opinions are but maybe after reading that you will understand more clearly.
I have understood your side of it. I've experienced relationships that turn shitty and people cheating on me more times than I can count. Moreover, my father cheated on my mom ever since I was three years old, up until they divorced when I was eighteen.
However, I think it is extremely unfair to place blame on one single person for something like that. It takes more than one person for a relationship, and if things go bad enough that one of them cheats, that's a reflection on both of them, not just one. Yes, I understand that it hurts one of them more than the other, but it's still true.
And I understand that you want to keep Laren from hurting someone badly, and that's the sign of a good friend. But you're only hurting her with the way you're trying to explain it, and that's not helping your side at all.
Again, I do understand where you're coming from. I'm just trying to show you that there is always more sides to a picture than just the one you see.
That's all I wanted to say. I don't want to be mean, and I understand that this is a difficult issue for you, and I promise to never bring it up again. I just... I don't know. I want to help you grow into a better person, I guess, and try to move on from this particular scar.
It always sucks to be the one cheated on, and I understand this, better than you know, I think. But that doesn't mean you can blindly hate anyone that gets involved in that sort of thing. "Life is run by a case-by-case basis" and none of these relationships are the same as yours, you know?
Again, I'm sorry that I had to bring this up again, and I never will again.
*hugs*
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There's no easy way to tell someone that what they are considering is barbaric and inconsiderate. Maybe it hurt her a little bit, but the truth hurts and it's more important to me to be honest than it is to keep everyone happy.
Of course there are more sides to the picture, I know from personal experience. I met my best friend by attempting to steal her boyfriend. I know what it feels like to want another girls boyfriend.
I don't know why you'd think that there are any scars to move on from, but the thought is very kind. Of course I understand that everything is on a case by case basis. (Again I don't know why you are thinking I'm comparing this situation to my own relationship.)
However, adultery and cheating are the very worst types of betrayal in my opinion. It's worse than child rape. I don't believe that it is acceptable in any case ever. It's unfair, it's underhanded and it's really subhuman to me. I know that a lot of people think that is extreme, but it's how I feel and I have a very hard time respecting cheaters or people that participate in affairs.
I appreciate your effort to extend yourself to me and make a peaceful resolution to the discussion we had earlier. It's very thoughtful ^.^ *hugs*
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And the only reason why I thought you were taking things so personally was because of the strong imagery you used for how a person would feel if they were cheated on. I couldn't understand why you would use that sort of imagery if you hadn't experienced that sort of thing for yourself. ^___~
*hugs back* I hate leaving things on painful notes, you know? ^o^
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*bounces around* I have a feeling I'm going to like you. It's one of the reasons I wanted to make sure to end things happy. ^o^
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I'm really very spastic once you get to know me. XD
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