Silliness from nearly half my life ago...
So, in moving, I found my writing folder -- the physical one, from high school/very early college, before I stopped writing on lined paper and started using the computer for it all. Some of my stuff actually didn't suck! But I found one particular thing that amused me. Inspired (I suspect) by The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, two first lines without stories:
1) Rhubarb.
2) Sally was confused: here she was, only five minutes arrived in the small and insignificant hamlet of Croytenden, high in the Andorran alps, where she had been sent to live with her long-lost and previously forgotten Great Step-Uncle Ezekial after the unexpected death of her parents in the horrid monorail accident that had taken so many young, vibrant, midwestern assistant-junior-sub-vice-presidents of prestigious fertilizer-processing companies in the prime of their lives, and this strange man was informing her that Uncle Ezekial's wife, her former Aunt Murgatroyd, had been pecked to death by rabid killer pigeons, leaving Sally as Ezekial's closest living female relative, who by local custom he must marry immediately -- and what's more, they had already performed the service!
1) Rhubarb.
2) Sally was confused: here she was, only five minutes arrived in the small and insignificant hamlet of Croytenden, high in the Andorran alps, where she had been sent to live with her long-lost and previously forgotten Great Step-Uncle Ezekial after the unexpected death of her parents in the horrid monorail accident that had taken so many young, vibrant, midwestern assistant-junior-sub-vice-presidents of prestigious fertilizer-processing companies in the prime of their lives, and this strange man was informing her that Uncle Ezekial's wife, her former Aunt Murgatroyd, had been pecked to death by rabid killer pigeons, leaving Sally as Ezekial's closest living female relative, who by local custom he must marry immediately -- and what's more, they had already performed the service!