well
i odnt know what to say about anytihng anymore
i say something and its wrong
and if its right,
sombody takes offense
so i get yelled at
like IM the worthless peice of shit
its not liek im noit trying!
not like you arent.
i wanted to thrust myself in the next moving car in that fucking parkinlot
with the drunk in the back seat and the father out the window and the sister asking if i wanted a ride.
why on earth would nobody hear me that day
why on earth does it feel like its going to be that way for the next few weeks
i know what every adult is thinking
oh if she would jsut lighten up things would get better
but its so fuckign hard lighting up with all of you breathing down my neck.
two years.
two fucking years until i can legaly chose my residence
where i will be in a lovely car 45 minutes away from here
away from anywhere they can be these kinds of people
I AM AN EQUAL
I HAVE RIGHTS AND A SAY IN THINGS TOO
WHY THE FUCK WONT YOU HEAR IT?
beer?
overworking?
youre own closminded opinions?
everybody has their excuse but me.
im trying so hard to listen to everything
but i cant even get words out of me.
so now im forced to tlak to the few people who do listen to me
the few people who might even consider or even try to understand what im saying
who wont forget my every word liek nothing i say should be marked.
theres a lovely thing in life callled forshadowing
except unlike your lovely story books we dont know it occurs until after the fuckign climax
so maybe a note of things might not be too bad.
thats right
i said i didnt want to go.
oh big shock to you now,
even thoguh i said the same thing a month ago before you shoved dresses and hair appointments down my throat.
so you get mad at me
for 'isolating myself'
locking myself in my room
with nothing but my computer and dropping grades
a phonecall from people who care
would you blame me?
because you do the same thing
when you leave on the back proch to drink and create
and when you leave to do the dishes
cause you dont want to think about anytihng else
so rather than fix YOUR screwups
youre going to put it ALL on me.
if id just be more social
if i could strive a little harder
if i would stop clinging so desperately to the things that are the only reason im holding on.
without those things im as good in a hospital as i ever was.
"want therapy again?"
did it work the first time?
i dont know what to say about anything more
so i guess i should jsut stop saying things all together.
i say something and its wrong
and if its right,
sombody takes offense
so i get yelled at
like IM the worthless peice of shit
its not liek im noit trying!
not like you arent.
i wanted to thrust myself in the next moving car in that fucking parkinlot
with the drunk in the back seat and the father out the window and the sister asking if i wanted a ride.
why on earth would nobody hear me that day
why on earth does it feel like its going to be that way for the next few weeks
i know what every adult is thinking
oh if she would jsut lighten up things would get better
but its so fuckign hard lighting up with all of you breathing down my neck.
two years.
two fucking years until i can legaly chose my residence
where i will be in a lovely car 45 minutes away from here
away from anywhere they can be these kinds of people
I AM AN EQUAL
I HAVE RIGHTS AND A SAY IN THINGS TOO
WHY THE FUCK WONT YOU HEAR IT?
beer?
overworking?
youre own closminded opinions?
everybody has their excuse but me.
im trying so hard to listen to everything
but i cant even get words out of me.
so now im forced to tlak to the few people who do listen to me
the few people who might even consider or even try to understand what im saying
who wont forget my every word liek nothing i say should be marked.
theres a lovely thing in life callled forshadowing
except unlike your lovely story books we dont know it occurs until after the fuckign climax
so maybe a note of things might not be too bad.
thats right
i said i didnt want to go.
oh big shock to you now,
even thoguh i said the same thing a month ago before you shoved dresses and hair appointments down my throat.
so you get mad at me
for 'isolating myself'
locking myself in my room
with nothing but my computer and dropping grades
a phonecall from people who care
would you blame me?
because you do the same thing
when you leave on the back proch to drink and create
and when you leave to do the dishes
cause you dont want to think about anytihng else
so rather than fix YOUR screwups
youre going to put it ALL on me.
if id just be more social
if i could strive a little harder
if i would stop clinging so desperately to the things that are the only reason im holding on.
without those things im as good in a hospital as i ever was.
"want therapy again?"
did it work the first time?
i dont know what to say about anything more
so i guess i should jsut stop saying things all together.