on fathers
"katie, people never change"
yeah.
well the only people who say that are the people who dont want to change.
herws how my weekend went
starting with thurday.
when i ran away.
and got caughtand my parents looked totally past my mental breakdown and got mad instead.
amazing, they are, their actions never cease to suprise me.
so luckily, i got to escape by going to my cousins house over tyhe weekend
jsut got home.
SHOULD have been with michael today
(happy one month babe)
but my dad still isnt that happy with me
i ripped everything off my wall, and wrote cage with thumbtacks across it
ect ect on thursday night
my room isnt as colorful as it use to be
but ill fix that in a moment or two after this post.
but my dad decided that while i was gone he was goign to be all phillospycal and change the words cage to nest, which made me throw things at the wall and rip each tack out, which hurt like bloody hell since i was angry (god damn it im saying bloody again)
anwho thats baisically the thursday event.
friday was okay except i was still bleck from thursday night.
and of course when my boyfriend called me in 3rd period to tell me he had collapsed about half an houur earlier and was then in the hospital with low blood sugar and oh yeah,
the whole school found out aboutBOTH oour eating disorders.
fun.
so that was... well, hell.
and thne saturday and today was cool cause i was at my cousins, and her being so innocent lets me have a childhoodfor a small amount of time. blah blah.
got home
found the nest thing.
bleck
tried playign guitar, didnt work out too well, i dont have a clear enough mind to.
so now im goign to fill my walls with beautiful pictures of beautiful women in size zeros and hippie music scene stuff. and clean my room and make it very decent and make me want to be in there forever,
because ive decided to 'live in my room' just like i used to
and idk.
maybe thats a bad choice, and maybe im doign it for the wrong reasosn
but if me and my dad stop talking
then well eventually stop fighting
which means he wont have anythign to be mad at me about
which means he cant say no if i ask permission for something.
so idk. whatever, isolate myself because he forces me to
blah blah blah. i hate life right now
i cant see mcihael tuntil wednesday
an if i ever need to see him,
its right now.
btw
im on a fast.
zero jeans are startign to feel tight again.
i cant do this shit anymore.
but at least i stopped smoking.
so now water and gum for the next five days
and allot of excersize
i need to get backk down to where i was before.
eb djgkb k.dgnblajg algjalkgjgjklagj
i need an asprin. or 500
:/
yeah.
well the only people who say that are the people who dont want to change.
herws how my weekend went
starting with thurday.
when i ran away.
and got caughtand my parents looked totally past my mental breakdown and got mad instead.
amazing, they are, their actions never cease to suprise me.
so luckily, i got to escape by going to my cousins house over tyhe weekend
jsut got home.
SHOULD have been with michael today
(happy one month babe)
but my dad still isnt that happy with me
i ripped everything off my wall, and wrote cage with thumbtacks across it
ect ect on thursday night
my room isnt as colorful as it use to be
but ill fix that in a moment or two after this post.
but my dad decided that while i was gone he was goign to be all phillospycal and change the words cage to nest, which made me throw things at the wall and rip each tack out, which hurt like bloody hell since i was angry (god damn it im saying bloody again)
anwho thats baisically the thursday event.
friday was okay except i was still bleck from thursday night.
and of course when my boyfriend called me in 3rd period to tell me he had collapsed about half an houur earlier and was then in the hospital with low blood sugar and oh yeah,
the whole school found out aboutBOTH oour eating disorders.
fun.
so that was... well, hell.
and thne saturday and today was cool cause i was at my cousins, and her being so innocent lets me have a childhoodfor a small amount of time. blah blah.
got home
found the nest thing.
bleck
tried playign guitar, didnt work out too well, i dont have a clear enough mind to.
so now im goign to fill my walls with beautiful pictures of beautiful women in size zeros and hippie music scene stuff. and clean my room and make it very decent and make me want to be in there forever,
because ive decided to 'live in my room' just like i used to
and idk.
maybe thats a bad choice, and maybe im doign it for the wrong reasosn
but if me and my dad stop talking
then well eventually stop fighting
which means he wont have anythign to be mad at me about
which means he cant say no if i ask permission for something.
so idk. whatever, isolate myself because he forces me to
blah blah blah. i hate life right now
i cant see mcihael tuntil wednesday
an if i ever need to see him,
its right now.
btw
im on a fast.
zero jeans are startign to feel tight again.
i cant do this shit anymore.
but at least i stopped smoking.
so now water and gum for the next five days
and allot of excersize
i need to get backk down to where i was before.
eb djgkb k.dgnblajg algjalkgjgjklagj
i need an asprin. or 500
:/