If I were to go to a fake psychologist...(to make it easier, the PHAIKologist) =P
Phaikologist: Do you set realistic goals for yourself and usually meet your goals?
Me: I set goals for myself all the time! But do I actually meet my goals? nope. This weekend I told myself to do all my Bio hw that was due like last week. I looked at the Bio book that probably weighs like 8 pounds, thinking whether or not to actually do it, and eventually time ran out. =P
Phaikologist: Do you laugh at yourself?
Me: I laugh at myself all the time! I laugh at myself when I put eye liner on, because I usually do it when I'm bored. It feels like I'm drawing on myself whenever there's no paper around to draw on (even when there is). That's my excuse for make-up!
Phaikologist: Are you problem-centered or self-centered?
Me: I dont' even care for myself that much as I do for others. So probably problem-centered. Am I self-centered if I laugh at myself?
Phaikologist: Are you human?
Me: ...Nope.
Phaikologist: uhh, okaaay.
*long pause of staring at each other*
Me: so how's this helping me with my problem?
Phaikologist: well i'm trying to figure out why you're bored to death.
Me: well you could've just asked me, really. It's because I'm simply bored. No motivation whatsoever.
Phaikologist: oh...okay. *ahem!*
Me: I'm guessing that's what you were supposed to figure out, right?
Phaikologist: uhh, yea pretty much. Thank you...
Me: no problem!
*another long pause of staring*
Me: uhh...*shifty eyes* I think I'm supposed to go now? *suspiciously walks away*