I kind of hard a hard time with your application, but after a few readings of it I think I'm leaning the most towards Kakashi: he's mature, a leader, realistic, impulsive-but-uses-reason-too, and he's on the more outgoing side. He has most of the traits you'd want in a partner without any of the ones you wouldn't like and I could see him saying that Trust, understanding, and communication as well as give-and-take are important when it comes to relationships. :)
I think Asuma would be a good match for you. He is accepting(much like Shikamaru who accepts Chouji), determined and probably does want family and kids. He also fits in what you want in your either/or answers.
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