To Feel Safe Again - A7X
Title: To Feel Safe Again
Author:ninjafrog30(aka ME!)
Fandom:A7X
Rating: R
Pairing: None mentioned
Warnings: Slash(man on man) and a breakup
Disclamer: None of this is real. This is in no way meant to offend or anger anyone. I wrote this for the amusement of my readers and myself.
Authors Notes: I wrote this with all intentions of mentioning Brian and Zacky as the two characters, but I never said their names.
Authors Notes 2: From the prompt 'Freedom' on my prompt table.
Authors Notes 3: I listened to 'The Royal We' by the Silversun Pickups the entire time i wrote this, and that song was the reason i started
even writing this. It gave me a whole shit load of insperation and i just thought it worked really well as a song fic. If you can, try to listen to the song with the fic. It makes a little more sense that way.
Authors Notes 4: I havent finished a fic in months, not to mention posted anything for even longer, so im rather rusty- just bear with me, and please R&R and tell me how i did :) thank you!!
It hadn’t been like it used to be.
Not for a long time.
They hadn’t had the same feelings and emotions that had used to surge through their once energetic veins.
Not for a long, long time.
Those feelings had felt long since dry and they had been almost terrified they would never feel that way again.
It had put them both into an empty and hollow state for a very long while, and neither felt they would ever come back out of it.
They masked it to others about how they really couldn’t feel happy like they used to.
But they both knew how blank they felt inside, and neither knew how to change it.
They knew it would be unfixable, so they never tried to change it, they just lived with it.
Even though just looking at one another each day killed them both a little inside, just because they wanted to feel the way they had so lovingly before.
Looking into each others eyes used to cause small twitches to their hearts, and soft pinking to their youthful cheeks.
But now they couldn’t feel any clenching in their hearts, and their sad eyes no longer held that young, healthy sparkle that it used to.
And the empty feelings were shared silently between them, softly killing them with each day, but nothing could fix them.
Nothing ever would help them feel like they had before.
Like they could feel again……….
Like they were still alive……………
The way the air was warm and the moon was shining so bright and beautiful, it almost changed something inside them, and their bodies once again felt connected.
The beating of their pain filled hearts matching one another in solid beats, causing them to feel whole once again.
Their warm skin pressed against each other, the salty sweat escaping their pores and mixing together as their bodies moved together in a time thought to have long escaped them.
Their hands clasped together in a grip felt only in fear of losing one another, their breath mingled and faded together.
Their thoughts faded to become blank to any but of the one entangled within them.
The sounds of their once passionate love surfacing once again for the feared but known last time, leaving them struggling to stay in time with one another as long as they could.
Their movements were in synch and the trembling of their bodies were felt between the other, shared and exchanged.
Nothing but the aching of their hearts, and the desperate kisses over their pale skin and against their swollen lips held in their cloudy minds.
Not even the thought of their last tomorrow could lessen the passion in this final moment that they shared together.
The forgotten pleasure they had once enjoyed almost every night was returning and the memories of how they used to lay in their after glow together for hours floated around in their swimming thoughts and caused the warmth of sad, lonely tears to fall gently down their flushed cheeks.
The legs of the smaller locked behind the others strong back almost afraid to let go in fear of losing the other forever.
His black hair splayed out angelically across the white sheet of the bed they were entangled upon, his red lips swollen and moist, begging in a silent scream to the other to never let him go, though he knew it would happen.
His green eyes shone in a godlike brilliance, causing the heart of his lover to ache in a feeling of forgotten love never finding its way back.
He knew it would never be the same as it had been so amazing before.
Never like it used to be.
So he held onto the soft warm body of his smaller companion as tightly as he could, not wanting to let go until it was truly time.
He kissed the others lips over and over until they both gasped in their need for air, and the forgotten feelings they both had missed so much.
He pressed his mouth gently against the hollow of the others throat and kissed the cold and sweat covered skin as he moved slowly and gently inside of his lover.
He felt a lump inside of his own throat as his eyes scanned his lovers pale and beautiful face, knowing in the back of his deep thoughts that he would never experience this again for the rest of his life, and he found himself wishing repeatedly that this moment would never end, even though he knew it would very soon.
He gently brushed a few dark strands of his companions sweat covered hair from his pale forehead, and softly placed a chaste kiss to the smaller man’s temple.
Their lips connected again, the passion and love becoming more sloppy with their close release, but the feeling still as strong as ever.
And with a choking in his shaking voice, the older huskily whispered in the ear of his young lover, “I’ve missed you.”
And just as shaky, the other replied, “I missed you too.”
And with one last deep kiss, both let go of everything they had forgotten they had, everything they had felt before so deep and so true, and all the feelings they long since felt slipping with the years.
And as the two lay still entwined with one another, panting and still shaking from the aftermath of their love, the older man pulled his smaller lover to his strong body, his arms wrapped protectively around the soft body, and he sadly held him against his slowly stilling chest, his beating heart returning once again to his own time, and his bright eyes losing their sparkle for the last time.
He stared one final time lovingly but with sadness into the pale face of his young lover, thinking for the last time how the other looked exactly like an angel as he lay there beneath him………
And with that moment finished, so marked the end of their love, and all the memories with it.
The next morning the older man was gone, forever leaving the moments he shared with his once lover, leaving without even a true ‘goodbye’ or a note.
But the passing of him from the younger man’s life was not unexpected, and with a few tears still falling down his pale cheeks and with a few last thoughts of the memories he would miss, he shook his dark head, and blinked away the last stinging of tears in his once again brightening green eyes, telling himself it had been dead even long before, and it was the best for both of them.
It was time to move on, and he finally felt it was the right time after so many years, they were the strongest they would ever be, and he knew he could finally be happy again.
And so would his once lover.
They were finally free.
And with that final thought in his still swimming head, he finally, after so long, felt a real smile grace his pale face, and he somehow knew that it would be true.
THE END
Author:ninjafrog30(aka ME!)
Fandom:A7X
Rating: R
Pairing: None mentioned
Warnings: Slash(man on man) and a breakup
Disclamer: None of this is real. This is in no way meant to offend or anger anyone. I wrote this for the amusement of my readers and myself.
Authors Notes: I wrote this with all intentions of mentioning Brian and Zacky as the two characters, but I never said their names.
Authors Notes 2: From the prompt 'Freedom' on my prompt table.
Authors Notes 3: I listened to 'The Royal We' by the Silversun Pickups the entire time i wrote this, and that song was the reason i started
even writing this. It gave me a whole shit load of insperation and i just thought it worked really well as a song fic. If you can, try to listen to the song with the fic. It makes a little more sense that way.
Authors Notes 4: I havent finished a fic in months, not to mention posted anything for even longer, so im rather rusty- just bear with me, and please R&R and tell me how i did :) thank you!!
It hadn’t been like it used to be.
Not for a long time.
They hadn’t had the same feelings and emotions that had used to surge through their once energetic veins.
Not for a long, long time.
Those feelings had felt long since dry and they had been almost terrified they would never feel that way again.
It had put them both into an empty and hollow state for a very long while, and neither felt they would ever come back out of it.
They masked it to others about how they really couldn’t feel happy like they used to.
But they both knew how blank they felt inside, and neither knew how to change it.
They knew it would be unfixable, so they never tried to change it, they just lived with it.
Even though just looking at one another each day killed them both a little inside, just because they wanted to feel the way they had so lovingly before.
Looking into each others eyes used to cause small twitches to their hearts, and soft pinking to their youthful cheeks.
But now they couldn’t feel any clenching in their hearts, and their sad eyes no longer held that young, healthy sparkle that it used to.
And the empty feelings were shared silently between them, softly killing them with each day, but nothing could fix them.
Nothing ever would help them feel like they had before.
Like they could feel again……….
Like they were still alive……………
The way the air was warm and the moon was shining so bright and beautiful, it almost changed something inside them, and their bodies once again felt connected.
The beating of their pain filled hearts matching one another in solid beats, causing them to feel whole once again.
Their warm skin pressed against each other, the salty sweat escaping their pores and mixing together as their bodies moved together in a time thought to have long escaped them.
Their hands clasped together in a grip felt only in fear of losing one another, their breath mingled and faded together.
Their thoughts faded to become blank to any but of the one entangled within them.
The sounds of their once passionate love surfacing once again for the feared but known last time, leaving them struggling to stay in time with one another as long as they could.
Their movements were in synch and the trembling of their bodies were felt between the other, shared and exchanged.
Nothing but the aching of their hearts, and the desperate kisses over their pale skin and against their swollen lips held in their cloudy minds.
Not even the thought of their last tomorrow could lessen the passion in this final moment that they shared together.
The forgotten pleasure they had once enjoyed almost every night was returning and the memories of how they used to lay in their after glow together for hours floated around in their swimming thoughts and caused the warmth of sad, lonely tears to fall gently down their flushed cheeks.
The legs of the smaller locked behind the others strong back almost afraid to let go in fear of losing the other forever.
His black hair splayed out angelically across the white sheet of the bed they were entangled upon, his red lips swollen and moist, begging in a silent scream to the other to never let him go, though he knew it would happen.
His green eyes shone in a godlike brilliance, causing the heart of his lover to ache in a feeling of forgotten love never finding its way back.
He knew it would never be the same as it had been so amazing before.
Never like it used to be.
So he held onto the soft warm body of his smaller companion as tightly as he could, not wanting to let go until it was truly time.
He kissed the others lips over and over until they both gasped in their need for air, and the forgotten feelings they both had missed so much.
He pressed his mouth gently against the hollow of the others throat and kissed the cold and sweat covered skin as he moved slowly and gently inside of his lover.
He felt a lump inside of his own throat as his eyes scanned his lovers pale and beautiful face, knowing in the back of his deep thoughts that he would never experience this again for the rest of his life, and he found himself wishing repeatedly that this moment would never end, even though he knew it would very soon.
He gently brushed a few dark strands of his companions sweat covered hair from his pale forehead, and softly placed a chaste kiss to the smaller man’s temple.
Their lips connected again, the passion and love becoming more sloppy with their close release, but the feeling still as strong as ever.
And with a choking in his shaking voice, the older huskily whispered in the ear of his young lover, “I’ve missed you.”
And just as shaky, the other replied, “I missed you too.”
And with one last deep kiss, both let go of everything they had forgotten they had, everything they had felt before so deep and so true, and all the feelings they long since felt slipping with the years.
And as the two lay still entwined with one another, panting and still shaking from the aftermath of their love, the older man pulled his smaller lover to his strong body, his arms wrapped protectively around the soft body, and he sadly held him against his slowly stilling chest, his beating heart returning once again to his own time, and his bright eyes losing their sparkle for the last time.
He stared one final time lovingly but with sadness into the pale face of his young lover, thinking for the last time how the other looked exactly like an angel as he lay there beneath him………
And with that moment finished, so marked the end of their love, and all the memories with it.
The next morning the older man was gone, forever leaving the moments he shared with his once lover, leaving without even a true ‘goodbye’ or a note.
But the passing of him from the younger man’s life was not unexpected, and with a few tears still falling down his pale cheeks and with a few last thoughts of the memories he would miss, he shook his dark head, and blinked away the last stinging of tears in his once again brightening green eyes, telling himself it had been dead even long before, and it was the best for both of them.
It was time to move on, and he finally felt it was the right time after so many years, they were the strongest they would ever be, and he knew he could finally be happy again.
And so would his once lover.
They were finally free.
And with that final thought in his still swimming head, he finally, after so long, felt a real smile grace his pale face, and he somehow knew that it would be true.
THE END